[seekinghelp89]

Hello, my writing is not well. So forgive the way it is structured. Ever since I was a child I was always alone and always felt distracted. I connected with nobody and I used to go outside and wrestle with rocks in place of toys. I always talk to myself and still do. I found video games to be very comforting to me I prefer video games to people any day. I had tried to work but I quit everyone of them. People always try to bother with me or be unnecessarily disrespectful. All I am trying to do is my job, but people are very annoying. They get me agitated and I lash out in anger and then they act like I did something wrong. Simple instructions they can not follow, making my job more difficult and putting me under more stress that causes me to explode in rage. To the point where I started thinking evil things, things I don't agree with and I don't want to do. So I quit my job and I haven't been able to recover since. I live with my parents but they don't care, they just think that I'm stupid, they do not believe in mental illness let alone I could never have a conversation with them about it because it is just a joke to them, whatever I say. They think I am looking for excuses but I am not, I just need help, help I have never gotten. I try to study online to get a skill but I can not stay focused. I don't even feel welcomed here, I think they want to kill me. I feel stuck with no way out. Please help.

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[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by seekinghelp89

Hello, my writing is not well. So forgive the way it is structured. Ever since I was a child I was always alone and always felt distracted. I connected with nobody and I used to go outside and wrestle with rocks in place of toys. I always talk to myself and still do. I found video games to be very comforting to me I prefer video games to people any day. I had tried to work but I quit everyone of them. People always try to bother with me or be unnecessarily disrespectful. All I am trying to do is my job, but people are very annoying. They get me agitated and I lash out in anger and then they act like I did something wrong. Simple instructions they can not follow, making my job more difficult and putting me under more stress that causes me to explode in rage. To the point where I started thinking evil things, things I don't agree with and I don't want to do. So I quit my job and I haven't been able to recover since. I live with my parents but they don't care, they just think that I'm stupid, they do not believe in mental illness let alone I could never have a conversation with them about it because it is just a joke to them, whatever I say. They think I am looking for excuses but I am not, I just need help, help I have never gotten. I try to study online to get a skill but I can not stay focused. I don't even feel welcomed here, I think they want to kill me. I feel stuck with no way out. Please help.

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I'm not sure how the mental health system works in the Bahamas, but I think that seeing a therapist one on one would be the best idea for you. Something is definitely imparing your life but it's hard to say what exactly the problem is over the internet.

[seekinghelp89]

Thank you for the advice. I need assistance managing anger, and being able to focus, so I can finally finish things. I am however financially handicapped. I feel stuck.

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[ShineYourLight]

Do you believe that everyone is different? Do you believe that we are born in imperfection? Do you believe that people are born without limbs or heart disorders? what about problems with their minds? what about simple things like fitting in? "loosers" stuff like that? Of COURSE! we are all different. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS STILL HOPE! luckily as humans we are able to change! So as far as not fitting in, it would be nice to have some friends. As far as evil thoughts. Anxiety might be creeping into your life. I think that you are in a good place though. Even though your living with parents. Because i can see that things could potentially get a lot worse. I think that you need to start working on confidence. And im not talking about confidence with others im talking about with YOURSELF. because once you have confidence inside of you about yourself, then people "see" that confidence and confidence with others is so easy and comes naturally with other people! I dont know if you have herd the saying,"the way we look at ourseleves is the way other people look at us too" well this is so true!!!!