aggravation

That's the basic problem here- docs here don't want to admit THEY "can't fix it". They want to believe they are perfect. If you tell them (and this has happened to me before) "my medication causes me to have bad hallucinations" they will say "well we have tried you on everything your insurance will allow, it's this or nothing, take your pick -what's better?" So telling them (or suggesting) anything just gets you a slap in the face so to speak. I went to an appointment with my ex husband once and he was telling his psychiatrist his meds were making his legs and arms jerk uncontrollably and without him wanting them to (and they were) to the point he would smack himself in the face or at night kick me hard - and we looked it up on the internet n it said it is a cardiac complication to the med that can be deadly if untreated and her solution was "ok, let's increase the dose"

As far as medicaid - I don't know anything for sure about that, I have medicare. It is an advantage plan so it is not run by the usual medicare rules but has its own. I did that so I could get coverage for my medications and such.

I am no sure what you are referring to when you say "some of the statements [you] have to agree with"? As far as the relationship-that is a complicated answer I will tell you about later today when I am at home (at the moment, I am in town at the soup kitchen).

If u are in the NE of TN aren't you in the tri cities. If you are on Medicare you can go to many docs. Sounds like you really have crapoy docs. Sorry I really don't know how to help you. I guess the only solution is to keep venting and being upset and sharing it here. I don't like when it comes to this point and it just seems hopeless. Why can't you move. Disability and Medicare are national programs. I know it's not the way idea but what else is there. Nothing I can see. Are you still in therapy?

It's great you volunteer at the soup kitchen. At least you can get out and be with people who are worse off than you.

Do u think/feel your therapists have given up on u

You are in Applachian mountains. Ugh

Lol yep!

I am trying to save up the money to move, but it takes time to do that - and if anything happens along the way (that costs unexpected money) it can be longer. For some reason, those unexpected things seem to come up a lot for me - not exactly sure but yes I am trying. Yes, medicare is widely accepted but there are different kinds and some kinds are accepted while others are not and sometimes medicare is not accepted at all. I am in the tri-cities, yes, but there are not the options you would believe there to be. For some reason, the medical group they are all a part of - Mountain States Health Alliance - requires you seek care in the area closest to where you live. For instance, the behavioral health center I go to has different branches in each of the cities - however if you try to go to any of the cities other than the one you reside in (for reasons of not getting along with a doctor or etc for example), you will be told you MUST go to the facility in your city if you wish to receive care, if you are dissatisfied with the care you are welcome to file a complaint but you may not receive care from any of the other branches. The hospitals follow the same line of thought unless it is an emergency or you are escorted in by law enforcement or etc. (That's both medical and psychological) Honestly, if I wasn't here to see it and live it, I wouldn't believe how bad it really is here. This is a wonderful place to visit, but a nightmare to live in. Yes I still go to therapy, but my counselor almost falls asleep each time I visit - because she kept trying to convince me I no longer needed therapy and I told her I did so now she started this.

No - I was eating there. I eat there for lunch in order that I can try to save a bit of money to move, otherwise I have no way to save money - however, to do that, I walk 2.5 miles to the bus stop and then take a 15min ride over and walk another 5-10min everyday I can (Mon-Fri weather permitting). So, it's not completely "free" as in without some form of "earning" either.

Honestly - I just think they don't care. They want their paycheck. As long as they get that, nothing else matters.

Hey. I absolutely hear you... I get your frustration, or is that exasperation? It sounds like you've been hitting that brick wall more than once.

I have been hitting the brick walls of 'mental health service provision' for over 20 years, I'm 42 now. I have a long-awaited assessment coming up in a few weeks time and it is so consuming, trying to figure out what I want, need, hope to get from the assessment.

Like you, I long to see someone who is properly qualified and experienced enough to deal with the complexities of experience that I present. I have been talking about it a lot to my therapist, who is great, but we both realise that I would really benefit from additional support - for me this would be some form of group therapy ideally.

So I am going about things in a fiercely focused way, just by even thinking about what help/support I need - reading around some of my issues in more detail and jotting down notes as thoughts come to me. We've talked about the sense of hope I am holding for the assessment, at the same time as being very aware of what could quite possibly become another huge unhelpful disappointment at the hands of the 'professionals'.

However,I am in the UK and things are quite different here as far as having access to a 'free' health service. I can't really imagine your nightmare situation of encountering a tick-list of only a specific variety of treatments and medications that are authorised by insurers But then having said that, we are very limited over here in what form of 'therapy' is on offer - it is mostly CBT based. I pay on a 'sliding scale' to see my 'person-centred' therapist privately - without this I wouldn't be able to afford him. But I have tried the free therapy options on our NHS and they have not been very helpful at all.

I'm glad that at least you have here to come and vent... Sorry I can't offer more, but here are safe hugs if wanted

Phx

Very well said...

From what you've shared in this thread you have got more 'personal development' under your belt than the 'professionals' who have responded to you in such shallow and damaging ways. Which is quite concerning and sadly just doesn't help though, does it?

Now that I am back at home, I can explain further about my relationship. (Sorry it took so long to get home, I also had a neurology appt and then one bus driver missed the connection deadline so we had to wait another hour and then it takes an hour to walk home but we had to pick up some stuff at the dollar store so that took about 15min or so too plus then I had to let my dogs out when I got home so I really just got settled in)

So.. back in January of 2015, I left my ex husband and went to an abuse shelter and was engaged to my online lover. I was going to move to Australia and marry him. I know that sounds crazy but honestly, we knew each other very well. We kept our vid cam and mic on 24/7 (yes, even while we slept). I met his mum that way (because he lived with her) and etc. We had no secrets. In February of 2015, we got divorced. Then - the end of that month, me and my fiance, got in an argument. It upset me quite a bit so I logged onto my facebook support group for depression to describe my emotions. When I did, a guy there started messaging me privately. At first he was being very supportive. Then he started asking stuff like "what would your bf think if he knew you were talking to me?" I told him if he thought I needed to worry about that then we didn't need to talk further bc I was worried about his intentions then. My bf and I made up a bit later and since we had an open honesty policy, I started telling him about this guy. I didn't even get far enough to tell him my reaction and he started yelling at me and telling me I was being emotionally abusive to him and broke it off with me. I wound up in the psych hospital bc the workers at the shelter thought I needed to be there. After I got out, a couple weeks later, they sent me for another evaluation claiming I may need readmission to the psych hospital. I went to get eval'd and was cleared for that but was held over for observation of my heart. When they released me from observation, it was 30min past when the workers left for home so I called the hotline. They gave me all sorts of excuses including not knowing where the hospital I was at is) as to why they could not pick me up and bring me back to the shelter. The community buses had alreafy quit running for the day. We were not allowed to take a taxi there in an effort to keep the location secret. The policy at the hospital states that you can stay after you have been released but you will be charged double normal charge and the insurance will not pick it up. I do not have a lot of money so I could not afford that. It had already been 2hrs after my release but the hospital would not release me without a ride - the only person I know here is my ex. So I called the shelter n asked for my roommate but they wouldn't let me speak to her without knowing why. So I told them. But - it was a Saturday. I couldn't get back til Monday because buses don't run on Sunday. When I called to tell them, the shelter said "figure out a place to come meet us and pick up your stuff". I have been here ever since. That was March 2015. We have been building a fragile relationship again but are not pushing anything because we want counseling both individual and relationship but do not trust the counselors here at all. He has not been abusive to me at all (other than mild verbal and slight indications of controlling behaviors again) so far and I am keeping a watch - and I do talk to him as things crop up and ask him to do the same with me. I hope that clarifies the question about if I am in a relationship with him or not?

It doesn't help no, but I will say it is nice to see someone notice I am trying. Thank you. *hugs* and thank you for all your kind words and compliments too!

Your counsellor nearly falls asleep?! That is unbelievable and shocking - unprofessional and unethical in my opinion. I have heard of the one-off time when this might happen in a session, but not as a regular occurrence. I feel sad that this is your experience... Offering more hugs if useful

Thank you for sharing and for your support. *Hugs*

I have friends in the UK, so I do understand some of the differences between the US and UK systems. I too have been subjected to mainly CBT - so much so I figured it out to the point I now know how to talk to them to make sure I get the things I know I need to be healthy (since they don't generally listen to me or care - I need to be my own best advocate and make sure I get the care I need even if its not by the means I would prefer since it won't bring me "healing" care). I think focusing on one thing at a time as you seem to be doing is very healthy and most likely very beneficial. I am glad you have a good therapist and are able to hang on to a sense of hope. I am losing my sense of hope - due I think to the not seeming to care attitudes of the counselors here. I hope you will find it easier than I have and get much better results!

Sounds like one unbelievable year you've had.It's definitely to your credit that you can come here and share like you do And brave of you and your partner to be trying to build even a fragile relationship. Relationships are far from easy...

Hugs are always helpful! Thanks

I think she is faking the sleepiness, simply trying to get me to stop going, but yea I feel the same as you.

Thank you for saying that Most tell me I'm stupid for staying...

*hugs*

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

*Hugs* back at ya! Thank you

Can you explain from above? How was the soup kitchen?

I got the story til you talked about "when I called to tell them" are u living in a shelter or hospital or apt. U r back with your ex-husband - why? U already know the therapists are no good why depend on them.

Just thought of an idea. Do a "gofundme page and tell your story and see if you can get donations. You are in the Applachian. People will give you donations just cuz where u live? Where is your biological family. Won't they give u $$$ to move for a better life. Ohio has a great mental health services. New Hampshire has great mental health services too.

If you are asking about the food - I had ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuit, a slice of cake, fuze berry drink, and a cup of coffee n water. We had a little church service (because it is local churches that volunteer food there). People there - some are from shelters, some are homeless, some are from low income housing, and some are simply having to penny pinch like me. There are people who have been in jail, some who have mental illness, some with severe physical illness and there are others that are simply having a hard time. It is very diverse in race and beliefs (you don't have to even have a belief in God, just respect the church while they do devotions since they brought the food) and ages.