[monkeybruv]

I think something happened with my sort-of-boyfriend. and i think my friend knows. but i can't get hold of either of them. i think i'm like this because i was ina 3 year relationship with someone like this,and it's rubbed off. anyway, i'vebeenonlinefor hours tryng to get them and talk to my friends, with no result, and i just need to know. i want to block him to not have to wait for his reply. but that would bestupid. so instead i cut myself and drank absynth and i think i'll not take my meds tonight. anything to put myself out for the count so i don't have to feel this desperation any more. I didnt tell anyone i know how uchofa mess i'm in as i don;t want them to worry, although they know i'm freaking out a bit. but i needed to tell someone.

[Pastel Kitten]

I'm sorry you're very anxious about this situation. Obviously self harm is no way to solve it but I'd be a hypocrite if I said I hadn't done similar things. I have that problem with bottling things up too. My boyfriend was very concerned about that aspect of me today in fact, since he's the only real person I talk to in depth about this anymore (other than my therapist now, who I've since opened up to more). Try to be kind to yourself despite this desperate situation. I know it's hard. I hope you feel better soon.

[monkeybruv]

Hi. Thought I'd update. Nothing happened as far as I know. I just went crazy imagining possibilities. We spoke last night and I could no longer remember or articulate what I'd needed to badly the night before. I feel pretty stupid. I still am thinking about the situation a lot but I'm no longer in agony. It's like I was a different person. In fact, it's like I was my ex.

[monkeybruv]

It's happening again. I'm trying not to go sending desperate messages to people and end up making them sick of me but I feel I really need to talk to someone. Is anyone there?