[hadleyrae]

I've been dealing with major depression and literally every diagnosable eating disorder (lately EDNOS) since I was 11 but this week I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and PTSD after just turning 18 and am having a super hard time dealing with it. I knew I had BPD but didn't expect a PTSD diagnosis although it's probably accurate and it seems like all my symptoms are amplified and somehow more real since I got the diagnosis. I haven't slept a night since then (it's been about 5 days? but I sometimes sleep during the day) and keep having anxiety attacks. My therapist thinks I'm going through a depressive episode and re-traumatized myself just by talking about my trauma. I'm also trying to quit cigs right now and I'm at two days. This has by far been my most productive depressive episode but also kind of my worst. Like I absolutely always have to be doing SOMETHING or I'll have a huge anxiety attack/flashbacks/want a smoke or to self harm or start seeing things, which usually happens during a depressive episode.
I guess I just needed to vent, I don't have many people to talk to. Thanks for listening.

BQ

[when_it_rains]

Big hugs to you. You sound like you are very aware of what is going on with you. I hope you are doing well. Im also trying to quit cigs. I chain smoke when upset and then worry about the damage I may have done

[Bugs-N-Hugs]

Originally Posted by hadleyrae

I've been dealing with major depression and literally every diagnosable eating disorder (lately EDNOS) since I was 11 but this week I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and PTSD after just turning 18 and am having a super hard time dealing with it. I knew I had BPD but didn't expect a PTSD diagnosis although it's probably accurate and it seems like all my symptoms are amplified and somehow more real since I got the diagnosis. I haven't slept a night since then (it's been about 5 days? but I sometimes sleep during the day) and keep having anxiety attacks. My therapist thinks I'm going through a depressive episode and re-traumatized myself just by talking about my trauma. I'm also trying to quit cigs right now and I'm at two days. This has by far been my most productive depressive episode but also kind of my worst. Like I absolutely always have to be doing SOMETHING or I'll have a huge anxiety attack/flashbacks/want a smoke or to self harm or start seeing things, which usually happens during a depressive episode.
I guess I just needed to vent, I don't have many people to talk to. Thanks for listening.

BQ

I self-diagnosed five nights ago, talked to my counselor about it the next day, and she agreed I probably have BPD. Along with Bipolar and PTSD diagnosed seven years ago.

I have a friend who has the same diagnosis. I never realized we'd have this much in common, she and I. Now, I'm researching and trying to stay hopeful. This new diagnosis may mean an adjustment in meds and counseling that actually helps.

My Bipolar has psychotic features and I have hallucinations, too. Mostly auditory. A voice that's always telling me to kill myself on a near-hourly basis, some days. At my worst, the hallucinations can include visual ones, too. But lately, I've been having more moodswings than anything. Several times an hour, some days. And nightmares every time I close my eyes. Which, for the past eight months, is never for longer than three hours at a time. So I'm always tired and hanging on by a thread.

I feel your pain. I don't wanna start smoking again, but I have been binge-eating and spending.

Our symptoms aren't exactly the same, but you aren't alone. At least not on this site

[Deranged Hermit]

Don't worry about the labels for now. Try to just get through each hour or day if you can face that large of a goal

My therapist thinks I'm going through a depressive episode and re-traumatized myself just by talking about my trauma.

I've done this a lot. I've found going through a dbt workbook helps a lot. Here is one but there are several others if you google it.