[ThunderGoddess]

I'm an introverted person with bpd so I have this crazy addiction towards people but I don't trust them so at the end of the day I'm thankful I didn't run out and make friends because they'll all abandoned me anyone so f*it I'll get another cat and play on the Internet! Happiness comes in all shapes and sizes

[Skeezyks]

Hello ThunderGoddess: The Skeezyks is thoroughly solitary... by choice. I consider it to be my gift to the world...

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello ThunderGoddess: The Skeezyks is thoroughly solitary... by choice. I consider it to be my gift to the world...

Haha nice! Solitude is so peaceful, rarely disappointing and mostly consistent

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello ThunderGoddess: The Skeezyks is thoroughly solitary... by choice. I consider it to be my gift to the world...

This post has bothered me for a couple of hours. The fact that you think being solitary is a gift to the world. I hope I do not have such a negative opinion of myself like this. I would run not walk to get help. I understand liking being alone I get as an introvert that sometimes it is good to be alone but not totally remove myself from others because it would be a gift.

[LadyShadow]

I have my best friend, and honestly he is enough for me. I don't really need anyone else. I have been content like this for a while. And of course I connect with some people online to get me through.

But for the most part I like a solitary existence

[mommyto3furballs]

I get lonely but I find I don't trust a lot of people and keep a wall built around me. I find I'm better company with animals and my husband and family. My nieces and nephew are my joy

[ThunderGoddess]

Yes, I also have a few close people in my life mostly family but it's better than 100 friends who I don't actually connect with!

[jean17]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

I'm an introverted person with bpd so I have this crazy addiction towards people but I don't trust them so at the end of the day I'm thankful I didn't run out and make friends because they'll all abandoned me anyone so f*it I'll get another cat and play on the Internet! Happiness comes in all shapes and sizes

Dear ThunderGoddess, you have said it so well. It is a terrible, hurtful, painful kind of place to live. So lonely, but so scared of people, so introverted, so sure they will abandon you that it's just not worth trying to have a friend.

Do take good care of yourself.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I'm dealing with the same stuff. Since my bf and I got together three years ago, I made him my world. That's what I do in relationships. I'm very codependent in every relationship. Friends will text and invite me over and right away I think of an excuse. When I'm around anyone else i feel my wall go up and i disconnect and count the time till they leave. I've been like this for ten years now. My bf also works third shift so I'm always alone all day and night. Sometimes I'm so bored I get my hands on substances to escape my mind numbing boredom (please don't judge me. I know it's wrong). Sorry I sound like such a downer. Just being real.

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I'm dealing with the same stuff. Since my bf and I got together three years ago, I made him my world. That's what I do in relationships. I'm very codependent in every relationship. Friends will text and invite me over and right away I think of an excuse. When I'm around anyone else i feel my wall go up and i disconnect and count the time till they leave. I've been like this for ten years now. My bf also works third shift so I'm always alone all day and night. Sometimes I'm so bored I get my hands on substances to escape my mind numbing boredom (please don't judge me. I know it's wrong). Sorry I sound like such a downer. Just being real.

Boy do I relate to this. I've been trying to work on being more social. I have not had friends in real life for so many years because I felt that all I needed was my partner, which I know ultimately (at least for me) isn't healthy.

[ThunderGoddess]

I have always been that way with romantic relationships too! They Used to be my world it's all I cared for. molding into whatever I thought they wanted in a girlfriend. If he's a punk rocker so am I, if he's a gang banger so am I. That's my most recent past. It's the lack of acknowledging my own identity or just not understanding who I am as person without trying to please others or avoid being ridiculed.

Since DBT and a very rocky, rewarding and self growing type of romantic relationship I learned a lot about myself. My 5 year live in boyfriend and I are moving into separate houses. We will continue dating it's our last resort option before total break up.

I will live alone with my 6 cats and 3 cat outdoor colony so I'm in great company. I have two very close friends and my family to talk to I won't be in total isolation. I work 50 hours a week at a job I love.

I still have bpd and struggle but I try to stay positive as much as possible!

We all seem to feel similarly which is why I know bpd is so misunderstood. We are people pleasers and have very thin skin when we fail to please or hurt another person and we can never make every single person like us that also hurts. I know the majority of people with bpd don't purposely hurt others if anything we just try way too hard to get others to love us and our fearful way of living creates a self fulfilled prophecy of abandonment by people.