My anxiety woke me up to the joys of life

I genuinely feel as though my recent experience with immense anxiety has woken me up.

As I posted before, I was taking Latuda for 2 weeks and had to quit because it gave me immense feelings of anxiety and dread. The worst I've ever felt, I have to say, and that seems to be exactly what I needed.

I appreciate life so much more. I appreciate every moment of peace I have, and I think I'm finally starting to love myself (I can't believe I'm saying that!)

When I was so anxious, all I wanted was to feel peaceful. I actually felt sorry for myself, and did everything I could to self soothe and nurse myself back to health. It was so severe that I thought I would never return to normal, and I wanted to disappear.

My therapist reminded me over and over that it would pass, and that goes for any negative emotion. She was right. It passed, and anytime I feel a negative emotion creeping back up, I remind myself that it too will pass.

It always does, and I always find myself smiling again, no matter what.

I self soothe with my favorite tea (chamomile), candles, going outside, and anything else I can distract myself with (going outside helps me the most). I feel grateful for my five senses.

I no longer feel the desire to hurt myself. I want to protect myself, fend for myself, and be ok on my own despite my intense fears of abandonment. I'm not helpless, and my inner child can and will heal.

My past does not have to shape my present or future negatively. It has only made me stronger and shown me the power of forgiveness.

A week ago I would have posted that Latuda was the worst thing that could have happened to me, but really it was the best med I have ever taken, in the end!

I'm taking it one day at a time. There is no need for me to fear for tomorrow. I just need to focus on today, and I can make this a very good day.

I just wanted to share this with all of you because just like me, you are all very capable of achieving happiness even if your life is currently turbulent.

Be mindful of every time you feel at peace, every time you smile, or even laugh. Even if it's just for one minute. You can experience more of those moments, I promise. Hang in there.

Thank you for sharing this, I've found it really inspiring and full of hope.

I'm so glad. I want to give hope to as many people as I can.

I truly believe each and every one of us can live happy, fulfilling lives despite our struggles, and we with BPD have many of them.

We're fighters, for sure.

I kinda know the feeling. I am so much more appreciative of peaceful moments. I am also more sensitive to be kinder to people.

Thank you for sharing. I have anxiety with Latuda too, but it's balanced my bipolar so my pdoc is keeping me on it.