suicidal exhausted alone :(

I have no one to talk to. My husband is tired of comforting me.

Since my psychologist left me a month ago, things are down-spiraling. I am haunted by self -hatred and the punitive part of me has no limit. Today I broke down and self harmed over dropping cereal on the floor. I have so many hateful words and feelings towards myself, I feel attacked by my own mind, I can't hide or distract myself

The new treatment center has no free psychologist yet , so they called my old treatment center and old psychologist to see if they could take me back, they said no.

I hate my psychologist because he started big work with me: imagery, mentalisation, going back to childhood memories. And all of that provoked me and I went into a bad crisis, but they couldn't take that, so they gave up on me

Now I am nowhere, waiting for a new psychologist, with deamons that won't leave me alone.

I hate myself so much and wish there was legal euthanasia for mental illness, I am not supposed to be here, I am too wrong, too bad, too stupid and weak and EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS BAD

I have no friends at the moment. I am alone. My "friends" don't know me, they just know the mask I try to keep up.

I am tired, I feel suicidal, I don't want to do this anymore

I have lost hope

i dont know what to say except that i am in a similar place and feel similar pain and if i could make both go away i truly would .sending big hugs your way i really hope you get some real help soon xxxx

I am sorry you feel like this too

I understand and am so sorry you're in this much pain. I hope they can find you proper treatment. You deserve treatment that works. You are absolutely not a bad person. Please try to believe that. And please go to the hospital if you feel you might act on the suicidal thoughts. You deserve to feel better.

I was/am experiencing similar issues and this may sound small but when you think of anything any kind of negative issue just do the smallest thing for yourself. Even if its taking a shower or getting some fruit or going outside. I have found for me that small things done everyday begin to make better habits and It's a lot easier to love yourself when your doing good things for yourselves or others. I wish you nothing but the best and am always available to talk.

So sorry that you're in this much pain with little to no support.

I'm sorry you are feeling down
I can relate to much of this right now...I really wish I could say something wise here but I'm out of wise words to say...
You are not alone, at least not here

I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad. I really hope that something happens that leads things to improve for you soon. Sorry I don't have anything helpful to say. Take care.

Thanks, I have tried this today. I had some positive effects

Thanks guys, it really helps a lot to know I am not alone