is my thinking wrong, or is her theory wrong?

My therapist tells me the reason why I can't go to the grocery store (or out in public except routine stuff like work, bank) is because I have thoughts in my head that I am unsafe, that I should just go home, that I can't be alone.

But even when I tell myself that I am safe, I need to just get what I came here for, nobody is judging me... I still have the feeling. The feeling that I am disconnected from my body, and this world - that I am unable to function in it the way many people are. This floaty prickly uncomfortable feeling.

Maybe the thoughts are involved in this somewhere but to flat out say that my feelings are caused by these thoughts, I feel like is just oversimplifying it, it's more like a circle isn't it? It started in childhood and now it's just some destructive circle I'm trapped in.

What do you think?

That's the CBT theory. It's that simple: the thoughts in your head are controlling your emotions. Think about what you are thinking when you are feeling anxious and try to counter those negative thoughts with logical ones.

Why are you able to go to work and the bank? Because you have to. So you forced yourself to stop those thoughts enough to let you do what you absolutely have to do.

I'm no better at controlling the thoughts that trigger me to have total anxiety attacks. I get it and feel for you.

So that's all it is? Then how come when I think different thoughts, or when I'm not even thinking anything, I feel the same way.

Because there's a step missing.

Beliefs.

Thoughts are tied to beliefs, which prompt a feeling.

Just because you tell yourself you're safe doesn't mean you actually believe it, so in turn your feelings don't change.

Which is why we have to practice and do these exercises over and over until our brains actually buy into the new thoughts and believe them. At least partially.

I can relate. I've always hated CBT because it doesn't address the gap between knowing and believing or feeling.

I remember reading a post here where someone asked their therapist why they didn't feel safe if intellectually they knew that they were safe. The person's T said it was because they hadn't experienced safety at the level of the body and unconscious mind.

I am doing brainspotting with my T to try to learn to feel safe. EMDR, somatic experiencing, and/or other body focused modalities might help you know feelings of safety better than CBT.