[HD7970GHZ]

Hello community,

I have been getting triggered a lot lately. One particular trigger is feeling so less than compared to others in my age group... I have no career, no education, no money, nothing. I feel like such a failure.

Any suggestions for how to cope? I feel like I am incapable of holding a job that requires professionalism and competence and intelligence. I feel like such a dumb dumb.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[elevatedsoul]

i also feel less than

i realized i was going to be 28 years old this year

i have failed to get my G.E.D. so far....

i have failed to begin driving because of my phobia with riding in vehicles...

i have no job, or money because of my symptoms...

and have failed to get disability for 7 years...

living off of my fathers disability....

i totally understand where you coming from...
as to how i cope... i barely do cope....
i get high when i can... i try not to self harm...
i have pretty much recently quit drinking...

but even doing those things are triggering because how do you when you cant afford to...?

i have like 0 coping skills myself so i would also like to know how to cope

[Ms.Lizette]

I have the same. In my 30s and have only had a few jobs, which I couldn't keep for more than 4 months. I do have an education but it is really useless, and anyway I can't keep jobs because they overwhelm me- people overwhelm me- most "normal things" that other people do just overwhelm me eventually.

But the thing is, we can't measure ourselves by the same standards as others. And btw many others, which we see as "normal", can barely measure themselves with those standards either, even though they try to appear as they can....

Judging from your posts here I would say that someone like you for me has a huge value as a human being,and that I would much rather be friends with someone like you than with someone who "has it all"- (except that they don't have the deep understanding of mental suffering). Besides your understanding of complicated mental struggles you probably have many qualities in other fields which you can't think of right now when you are feeling low.

I know when I feel like a failure I think I am nothing, nothing. And I forget small things that others see.

[subtle lights]

I'm sorry for getting triggered so much...Lately me too..
The only solution I know in this case is to try to compare yourself less to others. I know it sounds trivial but it's the only one I found that helped.
Of course, it's impossible to never compare ourselves, but if we manage to somehow focus more on ourselves and less on others, that helps.
Also I don't think you're dumb at all, based on your posts.
These are the lies we are hurting ourselves with...probably after being hurt by others peviously...

Still, I know it's not easy at all. I've just realised, while reading other replies in this tread that I've never let myself loose, I've never told myself that I don't need to be measured with the same standard as others who might be less sensitive, less prone to depression, anxiety and definitely less prone to get overwhelmed. I'm still struggling with this, I still cannot accept that I cannot or shouldn't be expecting myself to do the same things as they do, live the same life. Though lately I definitely can't measure up to these expectations.
I've always managed to keep up so everyone has seen me as very functional and most people didn't know about my struggles. Maybe this is why validation is so important to me, rather than some therapist trying to convince me that "you are strong, you can do it".
There is this need to accept where we are, I think.

[Lonlin3zz]

hey buds, do mind if I can recommend this site for your knowledge?

https://www.coursera.org/

Free to create, free to start anytime. Some courses are paid only, some are free, some requires payment for official certificate.

Hope it helps.

[Unrigged64072835]

I try not to compare myself with others because they haven't been in my shoes, either. I have friends that are outgoing, have lots of friends, etc. But they wouldn't have survived 22 years in the military, raised a child on their own, or go through the whirlwind of BPD, bipolar, or PTSD. I'm 51 and have no retirement other than military (which isn't much). I'm living off disability. I've got mental and physical issues, and I would have to train for a whole new job that I may not be able to get because of my age and health. I'm just praying that disability will get me through until retirement age.

[MissCathryn]

I'm not triggered just very envious and sometimes bitter. Sends me into a tailspin of guilt and regret. How can all these ppl have such nice lives and mine is so f*****?

[Fuzzybear]

Some of these people who have apparently "achieved" much may be cruel, horrible people. . I've known several of those (in "real" life). I don't feel "less than" them, they can keep their up themselves attitudes and ********

[HD7970GHZ]

Thanks for all the responses.

I have to constantly remind myself that just because all of my friends are "moving forward" does not mean I am not...

Seems a lot of my friends hate school, hate work and just hate life in general... Although I don't have any of these accomplishments as of yet, I also hate life - so it seems there is no right way to go about things.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[Fuzzybear]

[OneLove92]

Hello.

I would love to refer you to a youtube channel. Kati Morton. She's a therapist and is absolutely amazing. I have used her channel to help me through a move and not having proper mental health help and support in my new community. She covers almost every single diagnosis in the dsm so there is a lot of information on her channel.

Best of luck

[Teddy Bear]

I feel less than family members. They all have full time jobs and a 🏠 and a significant other. I live in my brother's living room and I'm on disability. It will take me 2&1/2 years to pay off my last ip. then I can get my own apartment.

[dancinglady]

I am sorry you are all feeling bad been there done that. It is never too late. First real job - I was 55 years old, stayed there 19 years 2nd job at 65 last promotion 66.

Have you tried State department of Rehab services. Can you get into DBT? Age makes a difference a stable home makes a difference. "HD" I have seen an amazing transformation with you - congrats!! I know you will probably say no way but from the outside it looks much different with you keep taking those baby steps. 10 baby steps equals 1 adult step more or less.