[MuddyBoots]

I met a guy this morning! We’re meeting up later, and I am over the moon! I’m trying so hard not to do the idealization thing, but holy fk is it hard to think this guy is not perfect. I felt like such shyt this morning and I wasn’t even sure if I’d be alive to see my pdoc, but then I bought some sour worms, and I could not feel better.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I have that same workbook, it’s really good. I also have another DBT book by the same publisher new harbinger , called The Dialectical Behavior therapy workbook which is also really good. I printed out the accompanying worksheets that go with it since I got them as ebooks. You can find the printable stuff on new harbingers website. I like that I can make as many copies of the different worksheets as I like so I can do them over and over again

I'm on The Eight Trigger Categories chapter (8). Did you have a lot of difficulty with this one too? It says you can control your triggers. I mean, one of my triggers is literally people breathing. Am I supposed to suffocate everybody that gets close to me? And the way they go about Mindfulness. I can do it, yeah, but it makes me freak out because I'm engaged in focusing on that one thing, and I need to be aware of practically everything around me unless I'm in a place I KNOW I can't get hurt. How do you turn that off? Should I? Yeah, it's tiring, but I'm pretty sure that's the reason I'm not dead or tied up in some dude's basement right now.

I have problems with the "Let it Out" List too. It's more when I'm manic though and the racing thoughts are from that instead of being triggered though.

Was this chapter bs other than identifying triggers?

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

I'm on The Eight Trigger Categories chapter (8). Did you have a lot of difficulty with this one too? It says you can control your triggers. I mean, one of my triggers is literally people breathing. Am I supposed to suffocate everybody that gets close to me? And the way they go about Mindfulness. I can do it, yeah, but it makes me freak out because I'm engaged in focusing on that one thing, and I need to be aware of practically everything around me unless I'm in a place I KNOW I can't get hurt. How do you turn that off? Should I? Yeah, it's tiring, but I'm pretty sure that's the reason I'm not dead or tied up in some dude's basement right now.

I have problems with the "Let it Out" List too. It's more when I'm manic though and the racing thoughts are from that instead of being triggered though.

Was this chapter bs other than identifying triggers?

I think they probably should have gone into more ways to actually deal with your triggers rather than just identifying them. Like I know in the other workbook they have a list of like 100 coping skills or activities you can do for distress tolerance and I find that helpful.

Sometimes noises trigger me as well. Sometimes I get furious when I hear people talking or hear any kind of noise due to just being really irritable at the time and it makes me feel rage. One thing that helps me with things like that is headphones. I have them on frequently listening to music or audiobooks or podcasts or YouTube videos in the background. I can still go around and get things done while they’re playing but it’s a good way to keep from getting triggered by outside noises.

I think it’s good to have an entire “toolbox” of coping skills. Various ones that work for various things. Cause the same things won’t work for every trigger. So it’s good to have a variety

Some of the ones I do frequently

-Paint or draw. I paint miniatures that come with those board game tabletop RPG games. They’re so tiny and intricate that they require time and patience and it’s very mindful and fun to do while listening to something. It forces your mind to slow down and concentrate. I draw sometimes too. Not all the time. Cause I’m really perfectionistic with it and get angry when it doesn’t come out perfect. But I do enjoy drawing for the most part. I have to not be in an already irritable mood though to enjoy it.

-Music: I play violin, ukulele and some piano. It’s a great outlet especially for anxiety. I find having something to do with my hands helpful. And it feels amazing when you learn something new successfully and there’s always more to learn. It’s helped give me a healthy sense of identity too.

Some other various things that help me:

Ice packs, especially when I’m panicking. The cold helps a lot

Reading, I can feel my stress lower after about 20 min of reading

Meditation, I do 20-30 min a day of meditation

Yoga, it’s very mindful plus it’s good physical activity

Exercise: Cardio like walking on the treadmill fast on an incline helps especially with anxiety or anger and irritability.

Playing videogames, or card games like yugioh or pokemon or magic the gathering etc or tabletop RPG or dungeons and dragons or chess. I love strategy games, especially with the element of fantasy and role playing. It’s so much fun and fun to challenge myself to get better at them. And I can play them with my boyfriend or anyone else who wants to play so the social element is helpful too.

Watching shows or movies: Sometimes it’s nice to just sit back and relax and immerse myself in a good series or movie. I’ve had many experiences where I’d be dissociating and then forced myself to sit down and watch several episodes of a show and then I end up feeling better somehow. It’s distracts me enough that the dissociation stops. And it’s enjoyable. Lately I’ve been watching the series The Boys on Amazon prime, plus various anime shows

Another thing I think is super helpful is journaling. Now I have both a physical journal and digital journal. But I prefer the physical for its mental health benefits. Writing stuff out physically just seems to benefit me more in terms of reducing stress and anxiety. Plus now that I have a printer I can print pictures out and tape them in there so it’s even more fun. I like putting pictures of the books I’m reading, shows I’m watching, games I’m playing, and pictures I’ve taken like of my cats or other things and vision board stuff

Another thing I think would be very helpful is crocheting. I have all the stuff to crochet with but I never learned. I want to learn cause it’s supposed to be very good for anxiety and you can make a lot of cool stuff.

So that’s a bunch of stuff I do regularly and stuff I want to do. I think a common element with them is the them of stress relief and also creative outlets and distraction being the three most common themes in my personal variety of coping skills.

Sorry for rambling, just wanted to post some ideas

But yeah I think that chapter could have done a better job. It was like here’s how to identify your triggers and just left it at that. I’m pretty good at identifying my triggers, what’s more helpful is knowing how to actually deal without making the situation worse

[Blue_Bird]

As for the let it out list I think that might be more helpful to do in pencil. I can see typing things out is a lot faster but that may make your thoughts race faster and escalate things. Plus there’s always the risk of sending it as a text to someone impulsively. I think writing things down would force you to slow down and would prevent impulsively sending it as a text or something which is something I’ve done before unfortunately.

[Blue_Bird]

Anyone else struggle with procrastination a lot? I am the worst when it comes to procrastinating. I do it so frequently it keeps me from getting important things done. I’m trying to work on that though. I always sit around waiting for motivation to hit when logically I know motivation usually only follows action.

[Blue_Bird]

I’m doing pretty well. I made buffalo wings in the crockpot yesterday. They came out sooo good. They weren’t like traditional wings cause they didn’t come out crispy but they came out so good and tender and practically fell off the bone. I’m so happy I tried it out, now I know I can make buffalo wings in the crockpot.

I’m trying to cook more, experiment more in the kitchen. I enjoy cooking.

I’m looking forward to Tuesday being over with. I have an apartment inspection that day. I hate inspections. They make me so nervous even though they usually go well. Also have a tenants meeting to go to that day as well. I hate those too. Cause it’s just a bunch of people complaining about each other passive aggressively. It’s highly uncomfortable. I just sit through them silently till it’s over.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

As for the let it out list I think that might be more helpful to do in pencil. I can see typing things out is a lot faster but that may make your thoughts race faster and escalate things. Plus there’s always the risk of sending it as a text to someone impulsively. I think writing things down would force you to slow down and would prevent impulsively sending it as a text or something which is something I’ve done before unfortunately.

I usually use pen, but it's soooo frustrating recently I wrote shyt like "twel12 red penguin fouuurrt furr catat elevator shaft elevate subravecstacane need f**k...." and I couldn't slow anything down and wound myself up into a rage.

I think I have pretty good coping skills if I have time to set aside to actually engage in them when triggered. But it's not like if I pass a cop or some dude tweaking while driving I can break out a guitar or do some crunches. I take some deep breaths, and that helps a little I guess.

[MuddyBoots]

Depending on the task I have two modes: the absolute opposite of procrastination (this has to be done NOW and if I can't do it NOW it's not going to be pretty) and that's more common, but I do procrastinate on certain stuff like laundry and getting ready for going out whether it be therapy or hiking or grocery shopping.

[Blue_Bird]

Dissociating today, I hate it and want it to stop. I’m trying to distract myself and snap myself out of it somehow

[MuddyBoots]

Hope you were able to ground yourself, and if not you've always a good sleep to reset.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

Hope you were able to ground yourself, and if not you've always a good sleep to reset.

Thanks! I managed to pull myself out of it. It took a lot of coping skills.

I took a shower which helped some
Played a videogame on my phone for an hour and that was a good distraction
Talked to my boyfriend on the phone
Meditated some
And did the dishes which I always find to be a good mindfulness activity

Now I’m gonna enjoy the evening watching g some shows and reading

[Blue_Bird]

I’m feeling good today. Had my apartment inspection. It went fine as far as I know. I’m tired though because I haven’t slept since the day before yesterday.

[MuddyBoots]

I wish soooo badly people would just wear a sign "yes, I AM mad just like you obviously can tell. No, it is not because three days ago you texted me and made my phone go off while I was eating."

I feel my fk-its starting to set in again and urges to self-destruct at an extreme level are back.

[Blue_Bird]

I feel like crap a lot of the time. My anxiety, paranoia, mood swings etc it’s hard to deal with. And I’ve been binge eating to cope with my anxiety and boredom and I also overspend to cope with my emptiness, to feel good momentarily. And my anger and irritability. And dissociation. I hate this so much. I’m trying to get it all under control. It’s hard though.

[MuddyBoots]

BPD symptoms haven't been awful lately, although there's that feeling of a "BPD entity" in my brain pushing in and I have to keep reminding myself to actively push it out and not fall into those behaviors.

[Blue_Bird]

Paranoid all the time. If anyone has any tips for coping with it let me know

[Blue_Bird]

I haven’t done an in depth update in this thread for some time now.

So here’s what’s been going on with me:

I have a new therapist cause my therapist of 8 years suddenly died, which was devastating. This new therapist I’m seeing is really nice and I’m starting to get used to her and she is doing EMDR with me and that’s new to me. It’s like a type of therapy for reprocessing trauma.

My boyfriend of a year and a half and I broke up a few months ago, it was my decision. But it was a well thought out decision, not impulsive and wasn’t anything either of us did wrong it just logistically wasn’t working now that we’re long distance. But we’re still good friends and talk almost daily still. Normally my relationships were really toxic and ended in me and the other person hating each other. But this was a really healthy relationship so it ended on very good terms.

My cat Mocha died last week. I’m really sad about that. But I’m adjusting to life with just me and my other cat now.

In general I’m doing okay. My psychiatrist prescribed some vitamin D cause my levels were a 9. Which is very low. He wants them up to at least 14 by time we retest them in January.

Anxious a lot of the time, dissociate still occasionally and get very paranoid when stressed. But mostly I’m doing pretty well. Although I am really struggling with binge eating. I used to be anorexic binge purge type but it went in the polar opposite direction the past year and I have been binge eating whenever I’m stressed or bored etc which is often and I’ve gained weight which upsets me but I’m working on eating healthier and dealing with things in a healthier way. I think I finally realized the meaning of feeling of emptiness cause I try to fill it with eating, shopping, etc. just over indulging in general to feel something. So I’m working on that too. But yeah, I hope more people post in here eventually