Relationships trigger suicide mode internally?

I'm bringing this up cause I know from experience that getting out of a relationship (late 2011) massively triggered mental illness in me, to the point I literally dare not get into another relationship - ever

Problem was, early 2012 I lost literally everything after that relationship, when I moved back in with family and wasn't even able to keep my boy cat Dylan

No employer would even think about taking me on, so it became a catch 22 situation

The more desperate I got for something to go my way - just the once - the more nobody wanted to know

even the professionals turned their backs and called me a time waster

Not a single person was willing to give me a "yes"



and i'm a bad person and a bad member and should use a method to make sure i die if i lose everything again cause so many people treated me like i should of back in 2012

idk if this post is even allowed, not sure where the line is with the no suicide posts thing, dont understand it cause willowtigger stupid

again

I'm not quite following what you are trying to say. My English is not all that great. Sorry. I will re-read it and try to get a handle on what you are saying. It sounds to me though that you are in a deep distress and I am so sorry you are suffering!

I wouldn't blame you hun. relationship is a serious commitment. once you have been burned by someone, you are not so easily swayed the second time around, who would want to put their life at risk again. Be gentle with yourself

Even the professionals turned their backs on you and called you a ''time waster''. How UN ''professional'' and negligent of them. I'm so sorry they added to your distress in such a callous manner. It's a form of gaslighting when this happens I believe.

Have you read Pete Walker's ''complex PTSD - from surviving to thriving''? I think you might find some of it helpful. Much more evolved and thoughtful than some ''professionals'' in some areas.... (and it's not only so called ''borderlines'' that some of those abuse, of course ''borderlines'' are as valuable - and actually ''treatable'' - as anyone else in any case, despite some of the outdated ''literature'' out there..)

((( hugs )))

not read the book ?

Dr Daniel Fox is another quite insightful person you might find helpful