[PigMom]

Hi Everyone!

I have not been diagnose with BPD but I have a lot of the tendencies.
I have done a lot of reading about BPD and I can see how this is really hurting the people around me.
I also have ADHD, anxiety and depression (probably like everyone else)

I do a lot of reading and have read quite a few books about how I became the way I am.

Here is a list of some of the books:
"Putting the Pieces together, A practical guide to recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder" by Joy A. Jensen -(BPD)
"I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Jerold J Kreisman, M.D. and Hal Straus - (BPD)
"Sometimes I act Crazy" by Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D. and Hal Straus -(BPD)
"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. -(PTSD)
"Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

These are all books that I have read that have helped me along my journey to figure out why I am the way I am and had given me tools to deal with my crazy.

Some have made me mad, some have made me cry but all have helped me to understand how I got here and how to recognize when I am out of control and how to come back from it.

I prefer to read as much as I can instead of going to a therapist because I am still having a hard time being completely truthful with myself and others and the books can't hear my lies. I can only read the truth which does not allow me to make things up. It won't lie to me and I can't lie to it. So, for me, it is a great way to get the information without spending a lot of money just to lie to someone. Also I never found a therapist that I felt completely comfortable with. I am always trying to make a friend or a good impression, I forget that is not why I am there for. I can't seem to stop myself from doing this. So, I read.

If anyone has any other books they would recommend I would love to hear from you.

[FooZe]

Hi, PigMom, welcome to My Support Forums.

I was wondering if, when you say you "lie", you might actually mean something more like that book title, "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me". If you were to tell someone either half of that, like "I hate you", they might get distracted and not be in a place where they could also pick up on the "Don't leave me" part. Or the other way around.

I don't know if you'd find it too technical or anything, but Marsha Linehan talks a lot about dialectics (acknowledging both halves of the truth at the same time) in her book Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder.

[MuddyBoots]

Welcome!

Thanks for writing down what books you've read. I've read "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me," and "The Body Keeps the Score," (I have a PTSD dx too), and both were pretty informative.

I'm not sure how much you'll be into this idea, but I'm doing this workbook right now by Daniel J Fox called "The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook," and it's been helpful overall. I will say if you, like many of us reading this forum, have impulsive/damaging reactions to strong emotions make sure you have a number for someone to talk to when you get really distressed (which you probably will, just the nature of doing the work and acknowledging some things). Can be a close one, a warm line or crisis line, whatever. The only one you're lying to going through it is yourself too, so you can go back and question if you really meant what you wrote and hopefully work your way out of any denial.