I need to rant about having a friend I really like but has AvPD

Swear to God, BPD+AvPD interacting in a relationship is the most painful thing ever.

She is great, don't get me wrong, but she has such a fear of saying too much and annoying me and all that that comes with feeling so inadequate that she withdraws SO FREAKING MUCH. I'm actually really happy she told me she has AvPD and how it affects her because I legitimately thought she hated me and just talked to me when she had a lot of "oomph to do chores" because she's a good person and tries to be kind.

But when I try to get a hold of her and it takes DAYS to hear back because she's afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid to come across as clingy or too much or whatever, HOLY FK does that trigger that abandonment fear. I am trying SO FKING HARD right now not to act out because I sent her a message TUESDAY and knew I'd have to give her time, but I looked at my phone and saw it read "sent: Tuesday" under her name instead of recent enough time like yesterday to not be some random day of the week and just want to shake her and be like "YOU WILL NEVER BE TOO MUCH FOR ME! I LOVE YOU!" but I also don't want to be too much for her, and I know that's wayyyy more likely. That's why I'm here.


I do understand that it's hard for her and that's why I'm not pushing or attacking or anything, but it's painful for me and that is equally as valid.