[MoxieDoxie]

You do not use the bleach tablets for the toilet tank just in case the water splashes up.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

•You know where every public single-stall bathroom is within a 20 mile radius.
•When you start to get full, all you want to do is eat MORE instead of stopping.
•You can't walk past the laxative aisle without wanting to binge.
•You make excuses to everyone, from the cashiers at the multiple stores you frequent to the guy who pumps your septic system.

[MoxieDoxie]

•When you start to get full, all you want to do is eat MORE instead

Oh yes that one for sure!

[Blegh.]

When you eat a cracker you pull out the excercise videos and weights.

[nicole84]

When you know you'll have time alone and plan out a huge binge, and feel happy about this.
When you're not alone and make excuses about how upset your stomach is and then sneakily turn up the tv so your housemates won't hear you in the toilet.
When you tell yourself that there's no way you'll purge in the public toilets and then end up there 5 minutes later anyhow.
When you tell yourself that your meal is healthy enough, or that you won't eat enough to trigger you and also end up back in the toilet.
When you go to all different drive through's to get food, binge in your car and then find public toilets (one I'm not proud to admit blergh)
When you have excessive bloat even after a small meal and look pregnant.
When you look at foods and sum up how easy they'd be to purge on a scale of super easy to jeez I don't want to do this (and usually do anyhow)
When you're posting here.

When you have been doing it for so long it is nature to you and you wonder how others don't naturally do it like you do. (not that you want people to do what you do and go through what you go through...but it's hard to see holding down your food as something normal when this comes so much more normal than anything else does.)

Also, when you have your binge and purge down to such a science that you know what food to binge on for the easiest purge and you can time your binge and purge before you even do it so you can make sure you are not late to whatever normal life event you have to go to until your next binge and purge.

When you store a list of foods in your head by easiest to least easiest to purge and depending on how much time you have is what you binge on.

When you don't stop purging until you feel fully empty and not one more particle of food comes up...even purging past the point of blood coming up.

When seeing blood come up doesn't phase you anymore and you keep going until you are done.

When you take a shower afterwards so you have an excuse for being in the bathroom so long so no one suspects anything.

When you see your bulimia as normal and wonder how others don't see it the way you do. (even though you obviously don't want others to feel the way you do or do what you do to yourself)

When you are jealous of anorexics for having such self control.

When you are doing good at restricting yourself from food completely, but then you eat...and keep eating.

When you binge and purge instead of sleep.

[Visualconcentration]

You guys should try Wellbutrin SR(first check with your doctor, to make sure it's safe for you). It works wonders for Bulimia. You have to give it a day or two, but after that you will not want to binge (therefore you will not want to purge). Also, get a journal and write. If you do throw up don't forgot to rinse with baking soda and water. I'm sorry you are all going through this, Bulimia is hell. I still have relapses every once in a while. Throwing up once every few months is a lot better than throwing up 8-12 times a day; everyday. Good luck to you all, there is help out there you don't have to live like this everyday.

[Francine90]

The one I hate the most:
When you wake up every morning with your face swollen from all the throwing up you did the day/night before.
When you get into fights with loved ones for interfering with your binge/purge schedule without them knowing wtf the problem is.
When you feel so so exhausted after a day of not doing **** but eating and throwing up.
When you can't look at yourself in the mirror during a binge. Only after you've completely purged.
When you have to have a water purifier in your kitchen sink because buying water jugs isn't enough. I drink em all up in less than a day.

[Vossie42]

When you have so much control over your abdominal muscles that you no longer need to stick your fingers down your throat.

[ready2makenice]

-When you take showers after a purge,or do your hair,to make up for being in the bathroom for so long.
-When you avoid foods that you know are hard to come back up
-When you scratch your throat and see blood,but keep on doing it
-When you plan out binge's when you're home alone
-When you count the hours until your laxatives kick in
-When you debate if you'll eat something,based on how it'll taste coming back up
-When you wonder how people can eat and not purge(is that normal?)

[liveordie]

when you reed all these posts and fully understand and feel like you found the people who who understand you too.....

[sneakers13]

~ You have a separate section on your grocery lists for b/p foods
~ You feel a sick pride for being able to purge with only your stomach muscles
~ The employees at the gym start giving funny looks because you're there all the time
~ You wake up with the taste of vomit still in your mouth
~ Can't do certain exercises or yoga poses right after eating because you'll vomit unintentionally on the floor
~ Know which surrounding stores have the least populated bathrooms at which times

[MoxieDoxie]

How do we stop? Someone please tell me how do we top? Over a year in therapy twice a week with 2 different T's and I am still Bulimic. Are they doing something wrong with me? Do we chose to do this and we should just be able to say no not doing it and stop? Has that worked for anyone? How about that dumb list of other wats to cope? What works for you?

[BlueEyedBeauty]

- when you decide you are going to eat clean, work out and be healthy .... and after a healthy meal full of protein and nutrients you -still- purge.
- when you watch tv and movies you feel shakey with anger and jealousy because you'll never look that way
- when you constantly compare yourself to anyone and everyone
- when you weigh yourself everyday and let that decide how much you are allowed to eat and let it decide your mood
- when you're extremely moody after purging
- having people tell you you're wasting food and money

[MoxieDoxie]

Any feeling of fullness in your stomach sets off the need to purge.

[BlueEyedBeauty]

- when you are so agitated with yourself that you are angry for 3 days straight..
- when you eat healthy and still feel the need to purge..
- getting excited to binge and purge
- feeling like crap after purging