[coolbeans33]

I've been struggling with emotional eating for like 5 years now..just in the past year and a half my life's gotten a lot more stressful, and now it's more like bulimia.

It feels totally impossible to stop, and I've just given up. I've never smoked cigarettes, done drugs and I don't ever drink, but I'm sure that quitting an eating disorder is 100 times harder than quitting anything else!! At least for an alcoholic or chain smoker they can just avoid the stuff, but you can't avoid food forever unless you want to kill yourself.

Sometimes I wish I could just start doing drugs because it's probably healthier than eating 10 lbs of food at a time and throwing it up twice a day. and more effective. My life is pointless.

anyway that's the end of this depressing thread

[kaliope]

I am sorry that you are struggling so much right now. you are right in comparing bulimia to an addiction and yes it is hard to overcome. you need support to help you make healthy choices. I hope that you have a good therapist to assist you through this process. take care.

[ready2makenice]

*Hugs* on this side. An ED is an addiction. I have been dealing with mine for a long time also. But trading out one addiction for another is not the answer.

I hope you are looking into if you aren't already getting help. I also hear some depression in here that goes along with having an ED.

Take care of yourself and if you ever need an ear we are here for you

[MoxieDoxie]

I had a member on here in a chat room tell me Bulimia was just a bad habit. I wish I could have reached in and smacked him. It has become a way of dealing with emotions. I am not emotionally resilient and I am stress intolerant. When I am alone at night I absolutely have to eat until I feel myself busting and then throwing it all up acts as a release. It has become a habit of dealing with stress just like those who have to come home at night and drink a glass of wine or two. It is also seen as a form of self punishment/self harm. I have gotten better. I have gone from doing it a few times a day to once or twice a week. Interesting though that when I am triggered(in a emotional flashback) the bulimia disappears but when that passes it comes flooding back. Same thing when I become heavily depressed. It disappears.

[Kate King]

I understand completely. I am at the end of my rope too and feeling hopeless. I don't think I can go over it. Everything you wrote, I am feeling 100%. So sorry...sucks.

[alias_account]

I know this feeling. It is just the worst. I feel like i'm unraveling.

[Aloneandafraid]

I know this feeling too. It is the worst. I am really struggling. I've hurt myself medically too and am really scared.