i've never been on the swings

I think that it means that you need to do the things that make you feel better. I have an issue of speaking to myself negatively because my mother always did (you know that voice in your head?) I have begun to stop myself whenever I do it because it is better for me to speak to myself positively.
My therapist has also noted this issue within me. However, she did a much better job of explaining it. I always do things for others because I had to as a child. My mother wasn't mentally able to do it. So from a very young age I made dinner, took care of the house, my siblings, my friends, my mother, all of it. Now. I'm faced with a weird ability to relax when these things are not done and when my boyfriend does not help me do them. I have to force myself to deal with the uncomfortable feeling when there is a dish in the sink instead of the dishwasher (because mom's do the dishes). I have to force myself to accept that I am late and there is nothing that I can do about public transport (because moms make sure that you are at school and other places on time). I have to stop my constant self criticism and be inspirational (because moms build you up not tear you down). Yes I even hug myself when I need to, even just a mental hug.
It has worked wonders in my control freak mental state. It also has reduced my stress and built up my confidence. It is basically just breaking the old habits and correcting the damage with self love. We have been through what no children should go through and we are still kicking so we are strong enough to do this. It just takes time, practice and identifying your triggers which I'm sure we all know already.