CEN makes me feel immature

Do you feel like the CEN you suffered makes you feel as though you never grew up?

yeah. Its hard to grow up when your all alone. recently I just feel like a baby and all my emotions exhaust me. I always feel like I need someone to cuddle me. I even thought of asking someone out just so I would get some physical affection, and in life maybe id get married and pop out a couple kids just so I have a family. and lately I feel like I can't do anything. I'm just so alone and weak and defenseless. I don't know how anything works. and I've been so irritated around authority figures. I just want to say **** you to them all the time but I don't have energy to take over and make things better. I just want someone to take care of me.

is it weird that I still suck my thumb? it can be very soothing.

Yes. It's frustrating.

It is very hard to grow up “all alone”

Yeah, I know that I feel very frustrated with myself.

I automatically blame myself for being so emotionally immature. I wish that I could stop blaming myself for everything, but it's very hard for me. I've been doing that for as long as I can remember!

I'm afraid that fixing myself is going to be very challenging for me. My TBI makes learning new things/ways extremely tough. Great.

I do too. That is probably my deepest, darkest secret. No one in my offline life knows that.

I have the same feelings inside that you all mention here. I desperately need to be cared for, hugged, nurtured, etc. But on the exterior I am told I display a pretty fierce independence and competence. But I have to; I have no family, and few friends. If I fall apart, I have no help or safety net. Sometimes I'm emotionally exhausted and I feel like I can't function, but I still have to. I've gotten written up at all of my jobs for calling in sick so much (usually just first warnings). But now that I'm in a professional role, I'm afraid, one of these days, they'll just fire me.

Yes, definitely in a lot of ways. Soo naïve here too. You're not alone, take care.

I can relate as well.
Needing constant positive reforcement and not being able to make decisions for myself.
I am 49 years old for crying out loud!

Yeah. I have a hard time trusting myself to make decisions. I often feel like a child lost in the wilderness, looking for an adult she can trust to take her hand and not let go while she is guided to safety. Self-esteem was not properly developed. Tools and skills that would help me function in adulthood were not provided/taught. I'm riddled with self-doubt; stumbling, indecisive, afraid. The child still lives within, longing to be held, to be heard, to be happy.

I get that. Lately I’ve been isolating myself more and more. I finding that every relationship I’m in is about me Providing something for the other person but there’s no return. I go out of my way and then i end up losing out. Then i don’t speak to my family. My therapist forgets our appointment and then goes mia when i voice my issues about my week being horrible and today topping everything off. My kids T has taken my ex’s side. My oldest son is bought by my ex and has betrayed me.

So yes I totally get the isolation part and trusting others. It’s almost like you question people’s agenda.

I feel childish or even retarded/underdeveloped compared to my peers most of the time. Trusting myself and others is difficult on emotional level.

their is so much I should know for my age and I don't

sucks sometimes

people expect an adult conversation from me, talking about adult issues that are affecting our daily life, and a typical conversation will start from me something like...

what animal gives us bacon?

what color is a red football

it is almost like I am trying to validate these points

like...

my mother told me when I was a child bacon comes from a pig, but given how she's messed me up... am I later going to learn the real truth, and that actually it comes from a cow?

(I'm not that stupid, I know bacon comes from a pig) but I am just using an example

I like to validate things she told me

so I know what's right

I also feel that my vocabulary is very limited for someone in their 30's.

this is proven when it comes to playing the daily anagram games and you're given a word..

tomorrowland transet authority

the first 4 words I come up with are tomorrow

land

transet

and authority

I mean that sucks.. it really does suck

if I come up with anymore words, they are bound to only contain 3 letters

Please look up concept of "Adult Child", and try to get book by
John Bradshaw,called "Creating Love" (for self), you will learn
much from it.

Oh yes and its even worse when it pops up at work. I get triggered on a daily basis at work because two of my supervisors live with their parent/parents and a third has a close relationship with his mom.

CEN makes me feel immature, too!

I beat myself up a lot for continuing to dwell on the drama of my abusive childhood. I find it extremely hard to talk to anyone I’m close to about it for fear they’ll judge me, think I’m weird or something. My childhood was horrific. It left me with no self esteem, no self worth. It’s a daily struggle to go one day without calling myself horrible names, as my parents have done my entire life. I’m my own worst enemy. I’m 57, and still that beat up, abused little girl who just wanted to be LOVED and APPRECIATED by my own parents. It never happened....shockingly, I’m still waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

I defiantly feel more immature then the adults around me , as though I missed out on some developmental stage. I think its mainly expressing needs and I need constant streams of positive reinforcement otherwise I start to self doubt which often means quitting.

I feel both older and younger than my physical age.
On one hand I feel emotionally more mature. I can understand people's motives and why they do what they do. I can see "the big picture" in most situations. I've been taught to "think rationally" since young age and I guess it's also my nature and how my brain works. I'm highly tolerant of unusual lifestyles or philosophies, I find them fascinating. I analyse everyone trying to make their psychological profile. This is one area where I guess I'm better than most people.

On the other hand, I have trouble with basic social interaction, small talk, not pushing people away and not isolating myself. Until the age of 20-25 I didn't believe that happy families existed, I thought it was only in the movies. I also didn't know that adults can have hobbies and friends, I thought those things were only for children.
I'm 30 now and I have almost no idea how to live a normal life.

Your posts all resonate with me and I'm beginning to wonder if CEM is something I have experienced. I come from a background where my parents are happy and blissfully still married after 35 years. So it wasn't a broken home as such. But I think there was very little emotional support. I think it was a plastic and "professional" type of upbringing. I don't doubt they love me, but maybe there just was never that emotional connection

This is me too. I make all the effort, they take what they want then discard me when I've either served my purpose or someone better comes along.