[mj778]

Hey all,
I'm having a tough time dealing with maybe going on disability.

I'm 32. I am not ready.

My fiance says I am being selfish (not in those words!) for not going on disability. He says that I only have enough energy for work, and then nothing left over for him and the kids. We don't go to the park anymore, we don't play anymore, we don't go hiking or rock hunting anymore. He says that our life is coming home from work and school and sitting down and watching tv.

He thinks that if I were to stop working, I could have more of a life at home.

I know to a point he is right...

However, I am (most days) able to work, so I feel bad not working.

But, if I could have more of a life outside of work...

Also, I can't do any treatments for my pain because pills dull my mind and then I forget IMPORTANT things at work and get in trouble, and any change they do to my body hurts so bad for a few days, I am not able to work (but I still go!!!)

Why do I do this to myself?!?

Why do I feel this way?

Even my new therapist (that I have seen one time so far) asked why I wasn't on disability.

Why are my thoughts so messed up on this?

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to get that off my chest, and my fiance won't let me do it (he has a hard time listening and not doing all the talking ).

thanks for listening,
mj

[bebop]

hon I have been out of work since 05. it is still hard to me to deal with being disabled. I am 53 and dearly loved my job. what does your dr say about disability? you didnt mention what your diagnosis is not that it really matters but curious.

[mj778]

Originally Posted by bebop

hon I have been out of work since 05. it is still hard to me to deal with being disabled. I am 53 and dearly loved my job. what does your dr say about disability? you didnt mention what your diagnosis is not that it really matters but curious.

Hey Bebop,
I'm sorry to hear you still have a hard time dealing with it. I'm sure it is even harder since you loved your job. I love work, not so much where I work or what I do.
I have Fibro and CMP. My Dr is new (I just changed because of insurance) and she was suprised that I worked, and don't think I should.

Thanks for sharing with me,
mj

[bebop]

at your age it would take a long time probably to get it going. could take a couple of years but if you can afford to come out of work then by all means go ahead with it. you have to be out of work 5 months to even apply for it though. do you have any type of short/long term disability at work to help you thru for awhile?

[watchthestarsfall]

Is there an option for partial disability where you can work a few hours to feel like you're still contributing to society and not feel guilty for being on disability but then not completely drain yourself out and still have a home life? Kinda a "happy" medium, so to speak?

[lorna]

I kinda feel like i need to say this, your fiance needs to know that you are doing your best and you need to have him understand your daily pains that are affecting you. Being off work doesn't necessarily mean you will have more energy for leisure. It a very personal choice that needs to be made as a family and with your docs/specialists.

[Skully]

I know how you feel. I am 34 with a college degree and certified licensed therapist but I just can't seem to function as I should sometimes. I am currenlty going for temporary disability but I am having to jump through hoops so be prepared to battle with them. It seems to be really hard to get.

I hope you get things straightened out soon. The turmoil is horrible but you have to make a decision that is best for YOU not what your fiance thinks.

[(JD)]

Please keep a good file of all your paperwork, keep copies of everything! Date and make notes of to whom you speak and the phone number etc they were at... hopefully you won't need it and can toss it later...but in case they really begin playing the "delay and deny" game, you'll be ready.

I've been disabled 24 years now (Dec 1st.) I live with chronic pain and haven't worked since the injury. If it weren't for my pain / stress psychologist, I wouldn't be here--or anywhere.

for all.