Taught to suck it up & feel the pain

Did anyone have problems with family/friends discounting their health problems and/or making them worse by sating get over it? I literally have to move because my condition is rare, incurable and progressive.

My MRI's are showing pain disorders and spinal trauma that is rarely seen and then in people 30+ years my senior. To prevent paralysis, I need surgery on my neck, and I went to see the neurosurgeon about my back?! I let this get so far out of control after a car wreck in 1995, that I can't remember having quality of life.

My dad is a retired colonel who thinks pain is not a bodies way of telling you that something is wrong. Pain is weak, pills are for druggies. When I fill out a pain chart with numbers, I literally think of the holocaust or someone burning alive in a car. I feel like my numbers are being disrespectful. This is so messed up! I have always allowed a doctor, nurse, front desk receptionist whatever tell me I'm not in pain because of xyz. And, with narcotic addiction chronic pain is not something they would listen too while I'm morally conflicted.

I finally went to see a pain doctor because everything is unbearable, and the surgery isn't for pain. I'm moving as soon as I'm stable because my parents are going to freaking kill me!! I can not continue to push myself through the pain and these health problems are not on their radar.

Hi thickntired

I am really sorry to hear that you are dealing with these difficult comments passed by others when you genuinely have a diagnosis of a pain disorder and spinal trauma.

This is very upsetting.

I find that when people make comments about my specific diagnosis (different to yours; but used to illlustrate a point) and these comments are incorrect; it really does come down to the fact that they do not have enough education and knowledge of my specific diagnosis.

It can be upsetting.

But I need to remind myself I guess we are all human and they don't "live" with my diagnosis.

Education is the key to my own personal understanding.

Hang in there.

I am also suffering a chronic incurable lifelong disease. Several actually. Endeometriosis ,Interstistatial cystistis,fibro,disc degenerative disease 19 years now,severe tendinapothy over five years now and severe bursitis just as long,and chronic inflammation with muscle uncontrollably back spasms. Your spinal problems seems a lot worse though then these. The spine connects us to your body. I'm so sorry they are doing it but so feel your pain my Doctor stopped my pain meds because of my stupid request to stop them over six months ago after saying to him they don't work just forget it. Big oops on my part now he won't give back. I pray you get relief hon. Get away from your negative dad.its making it worse. Insist these Doctors treat you with respect and acknowledge your pain or report them. I'm seeing a specialist in two weeks because I insisted and reported a Doctor as well for ignoring me. We have to sometimes be your own advocates. Head up a speak loud hon. Your pain is real....

I suffer the same issues... I have ALWAYS masked my pain- emotional or physical, my entire life.... because people can't SEE blood running down your leg , or your surgery scar, they tend to believe it's not real..... my kids (22 and 25) are sick of hearing about it and do nothing to help me around the house so that I CAN do other things that I once enjoyed.... I have found I had to eliminate toxic people from my life- I realize I am fortunate that a couple of friends have stuck by me.... but they also have their own lives and I can't expect them to be there for me all the time.... double edge sword.... Previous post-er is dead on.... you need to remove yourself from negative people and toxic relationships- I know for a fact that stress manifests itself in physical form or physiologically and will only add to your pain and anxiety.... Your dad sounds very rigid- most military are... my dad was in WWII yet he was very open to "shell shock", now PTSD and was my rock- but he passed 14 years ago- those who have gone to war stand firm in their feeling of "suck it up", "take the pain".... it's what they are taught as a survival mechanism in the world of warfare...... you battle against pain is your war and you have to fight it your own way.....