[Troy]

She said, "You should be happy you didn't get killed."

Can you imagine someone telling me that? Months and months of recovery and maimed for life, and "you should be glad you didn't get killed."

I would have traded my place for any of the soldiers who died. I wished I had died during all of my recovery. I even wondered how I could make it happen, to join them, to escape the pain, to escape the emotions. *tears

The main difficulty was surviving.
The hard part is the surviving.
The surviving is what kills you, slowly.

I "should be happy that I wasn't killed ??????? "

T.

[bebop]

(((troy)))

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( troy ))))))))))))))))))

[Soidhonia]

Troy. I dont think honestly, that anyone that has Not suffered through the trauma that you have suffered through can honestly understand the grief of living, when everthing you were living for or thought you were living for is gone due to unforseen circumstances, PTSD, and the other losses suffered in the military. I am sorry that your therapist is just hoping to be reassuring when obviously you are feeling rejected in your therapist really getting the whole picture of how you are feeling. Part of you came home and part of you will never return home again. It is just as important to address the part that didnt come home as the future, and the wholeness you may have left to the past. I am not sure what therapy you are receiving at this time, but you may need to get a little more aggressive with your therapist in getting your needs met at this time, since grieving is a natural part of coming home, and moving forward from being in the military. Unfortunately it is a long drawn out process at times, but well worth the time if you can learn to move on slowly from the past and Have a future that you would like to have without the past being a block mentally or physically. I hope the best for you Troy. Take care. Soidhonia

[Troy]

Soidhonia .. thanks for your kind note and advice on this. Sorry I stated things in a way that made it sound like a t. told me this. It was not a therapist... it was family member (not wife).

And you're right about leaving part of me on the battlefield...and it wasn't all mental either. Part of me is already buried, waiting for me to catch up!!!

For now, PC and a site called AfterSilence.org is my therapy.

"When you do your best but you don't succeed..."

T.

[Soidhonia]

Well Troy the best is all that anyone can Give. Then I guess giving it your all is all that was ever needed or expected. Take care Troy. PM anytime. Soidhonia