Anyone else have no emotions?

My husband says he only feels two things...

Anger and humor...not sadness, happiness, nothing...

He even says he knows he loves me in his head but can not feel it in his heart?

The last time he even shed a tear was in 2005.....

Is this what we have to live with the rest of our marriage?

He avoids intimate conversations and wants only chit chat..weather, sex, work, and watches TV almost daily from the time he gets home from work till bedtime unless I demand time...

Is this the PTSD or is our marriage dead for him?

Is it all the medications he is on?

Grrrrrr.......I am really frustrated on this..

I think it could very possibly be a combo of the medications and depression/ptsd. is he in therapy at all? that is a key thing right there. he needs an outlet to talk about his experiences.

Not exactly sure what "therapy" would be considered based on the last 3 years .....he has been going to the VA medical center for once a month counseling and once a month to see his medicine manager..psycologist? To bad every 4-6 months those doctors quit and another "new" doctor comes on board to start all over again. Of course the VA putting him on one medication, then two, then three to up one to a dosage that is not even recommnded, then to have medicine coming in the mail until he has over a 6 month supply and not keeping track of that concerns me.

Lastly, I finally go with him to an appointment, (took me 3 years to get him to agree) to ask the counselor what exactly is his "diagnosis and why is he on the medications he is and why is he getting so many" (we had already requested a copy of all his therapy notes and his VA diagnosis for disability before coming in to confront her) for her to answer " he has PTSD" so I ask what about the borderline personality disorder? She says "who says he has that? Uhmmmm, the VA's own records!!!

This then goes onto a discussion as to her whipping out a book to read us what borderline personality disorder is..."we already read up on it" and I ask her, when where you all going to treat that too? She says " I suspected he had that and was going to start working on that next year...(this was December 08) needless to say I was mad and asked her what the heck have they been doing for the last three years then?

Funny how that meeting did not seem to go to well....nor did the one the next week with the "new psycologist they hired" the 5th in 3 years?? That guy basically said the same...where did you all get that diagnosis from? Uhmmm again...you all! Could not explain the reason for the medication cocktail hubby is on plus said he could not schedule to sleep apneia test either like the counselor the week before said he could...so my hubby and I left that appointment frsutrated and with my husband finally getting what I had been telling him...he is NOT getting good care!

Now this week he had to see the VA's primary care doctor and they said they would order the sleep apneia test, but as for the medicines I was not there to question that, so I am not sure what to do being my husband will just take what ever they give him, does not see his own side effects and really does not care anymore at times...

All this is frustrating!

yes hon it is very frustrating! I do understand how you are feeling though. I went thru it many years with my husband. the VA is almost a joke to deal with on ptsd. but if you can find a good therapist with them stay with them as long as you can.

just to help you know who is doing what , re your hubby-the psychiatrist writes the prescription and diagnosis, the psychologist does the therapy, the primary care doctor in the military writes orders for any regular medical tests,etc and prescriptions for non-mental health issues.
what part of the u.s, are u all living in? In the west coast they have some new facilities for ptsd, etc. via the military.
it sounds like you all have had some very bad experiences via VA. ever thought about writing your US senator and congressman? that'll get some much needed attention, usually. sounds like the VA near u all is severely lacking.

Vet-to-vet counseling heals new and old soldiers

By Rachel Straus
CLICK THIS TEXT for high-resolution
images and text-only story



Vet-to-Vet founder Moe Armstrong crisscrosses the country establishing peer support centers for veterans. At his Cambridge, MA home, he takes a momentary rest. (Courtesy of Matt Stone)

Moe Armstrong came back from the Vietnam War a changed man. Diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and schizophrenia, Armstrong considered himself doomed.

Upon reading Ken Kesey’s novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” about the horrors of a Veterans Administration psychiatric ward, he abandoned any hope of receiving adequate medical care from the government--especially when he learned that he was being transferred to the very same institution described in Kesey’s book.

From 1966 to 1984 Armstrong, a former high school football captain, wandered the West Coast, addicted to alcohol and drugs. At a New Mexico social services center, he started sharing his history with other mentally disabled people. By disclosing his experiences to his peers, Armstrong realized that he felt better. He also imagined a more hopeful future.

Today, Armstrong, 61, crisscrosses the country in support of an organization called Vet-to-Vet. His goal is to give veterans an independent forum where they can talk together about their mental and emotional scars. Because no social workers or doctors attend the veteran-run meetings, Armstrong’s Vet-to-Vet is unique.

Working with Dr. Robert Rosenheck, director of the VA Northeast Program Evaluation Center, whose published papers demonstrate the advantages of receiving peer support, Armstrong has become a national figure in the mental health field. Despite speaking engagements and network news coverage of his efforts to destigmatize mental illness, Armstrong sees himself first and foremost as a war survivor.

“I refuse to forget that part of myself,” said Armstrong, a man with a positive outlook despite all the pain he deals with. “I’m nuts. It’s part of who I am, and what makes me good at what I do.”

As a new generation of veterans return from a new war, the psychological traumas incurred from military service present a major obstacle for those re-entering civilian life. In the July 2004 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine, a study found that out of 6,000 surveyed soldiers returning from Iraq, 1,000 reported symptoms of depression, anxiety or PTSD. In February, a Government Accountability Office study found that one out of seven VA medical centers surveyed reported being unprepared to care for the mental health of more veterans.

In the hope that overburdened VA hospitals will begin referring veterans to Vet-to-Vet, 26 centers have been established, from Albuquerque, N.M. to Madison, Wis. “There is going to be a boomerang effect,” said Armstrong of the coming wave of Iraq war vets. The aggression, hyper-vigilance and de-sensitivity that helped them survive the war will become liabilities, Armstrong said. Vet-to-Vet can be the balm for their trauma. “Moe has given a model of how to be at peace with yourself,” Rosenheck said.

In the next six months, Armstrong will travel to 13 states and more than 35 cities to jumpstart Vet-to-Vet centers and to strengthen pre-established ones. With grants written by Rosenheck and others, the fledgling organization is offering training programs, where vets learn how to facilitate Vet-to-Vet’s hour-long group meetings. “It’s a rowdy session,” said Rebecca Clark, a social worker who has assisted the Vet-to-Vet group in Albuquerque.

The group meetings are egalitarian, with conversations loosely organized around books written by mental health experts, including Armstrong. Last September, at a West Haven, Conn., Vet-to-Vet meeting, 12 veterans read aloud from a book about taking responsibility for mental illness, instead of relying solely on disability benefits and medication. They also discussed ways of combating depressive cycles, which are marked by anger, self-destructive activity and isolation from society.

Roy Brown, director of the West Los Angeles Vet-to-Vet and a veteran with a diagnosis of manic depression, said of his first Vet-to-Vet meetings, “What I found out there within a week and a half’s time was about as much information as I got in 20 years of being in the VA system.” Brown also gave an example of how Vet-to-Vet differs from the VA. “I have a couple of people,” Brown said, “who were given up by the VA because they are murderers.” In Vet-to-Vet, “these same people developed self-esteem and found hope.”

Although Vet-to-Vet is run by mentally disabled veterans, Sandra Resnick, associate director of the VA Northeast Program Evaluation Center, explained that “it is not trying to replace professionals” like doctors and social workers. Resnick, the lead author of a paper about Vet-to-Vet recently published in the Psychiatric Rehabilitation Journal, said that Vet-to-Vet’s aim is to be financially separate but structurally connected to the VA. “We are trying to be partners with the VA,” she said.

Though Vet-to-Vet primarily serves Vietnam veterans, it will provide a non-judgmental and supportive environment “for the next wave of veterans,” Armstrong said. “It may take several years” for young veterans “to notice or need Vet-to-Vet,” he added.

Source: Moe Armstrong: Vet-to-Vet Counselling

Hi Workingitout,

Just thought I would also let you know that many people are misdiagnosed with BPD. I had my dx changed from BPD to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as I already had a PTSD dx. Many symptoms are the same but treatment is some what different. I too have difficulty with staff changeover in the system I deal with. I do believe if there was some consistency in my care I would have been much more understood and I would be further down the track to my recovery. It is frustrating place for you both.
I understand the lack of emotion and the extreme of what emotion is there. Best wishes to you both in getting the answers and treatment you both deserve.
Take care