[venusss]

Originally Posted by Aanga

I find the chats helpful and it has nothing to do with PC. It has everything to do with the fact that I have friends on there that aren't afraid to be straight with me.

The forums, I don't find useful in the slightest. Because they're so bogged down with you can't say anything at all apart from "OMG THAT SUCKS." or other useless statements.

But hey, to each their own. If it helps you to get absolutely no clear answers in any way, shape, or form...more power to ya

I found good advice on the forums, but I agree with you... sometimes the overall tone bothers me a bit. I wish some people made more effort... I get it, we are all troubled and struggle, but sometimes it helps to try to see how others act and try to help others who struggle... gives one much needed perspective for themselves.

But you cannot force others to post certain way...

[Ygrec23]

I have found PC very helpful. My relations with people IRL are almost non-existent and always have been. Being here and participating is the first time in my life I've been able to deal with people without anxiety forcing me to withdraw and hide. Did I know this would happen? By no means. Before coming on to PC I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW about my problems with people! That was entirely blacked out, erased, invisible to me, together with a lot of other things.

Then I slowly, slowly found out that people here don't bite. That I could participate and other people would appreciate my participation. There would be give and take. I'd have problems (SOLUBLE problems) with some people and make friends (I hope) with others. And then I could try to help hurting people with some suggestions of my own, which, amazingly, were appreciated. So, really, I've found PC a very valuable resource, with good people and helpful people. I do have a T and a pdoc, and I get most of my "answers" from them. But here I've been able to discover that interacting with others can not only be pleasant but really feel good. And to me that's the discovery of a lifetime. Take good care!

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Ygrec23

Then I slowly, slowly found out that people here don't bite.

Some of them don't. I bite sometimes!

[HalfSwede]

It's helped me. When I first signed on, I was crying all the time. Not easy for a guy in his late 40s to say that. I was so out of it, I couldn't leave the site for more than 10 minutes. People here have helped nurse me back to health. The irony is that, now that I'm back on my feet again and out in the real world, I have less time to spend here.

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

I found good advice on the forums, but I agree with you... sometimes the overall tone bothers me a bit. I wish some people made more effort...

I'm not very good at giving advice. I don't think I post a lot to when people write about their problems because I am useless. I try to make a effort but still I'm bad at giving advice.

[unaluna]

So how is gashly doing here now? seems like I have seen him/her? here a lot. Also, I don't think anybody mentioned, you can search threads for words, right? that pertain to your issues and find a lot of newer stuff that way, people are posting links all the time.

[Ygrec23]

Another thought: What is called "transference" doesn't just happen with T, it happens in any relationship we have. It's focussed on in therapy because there it's right under T's nose. If you become sensitive to such things over time, you can become aware of transference aspects in any relationship, including online relationships right here on PC. In fact, because all of our PC communications are in writing and are preserved, in a sense it's easier to track transference issues here than elsewhere. And in this sense I've found PC very useful. Take care.

[Open Eyes]

I think I am more of a problem solver, and when I don't find answers I get easily frustrated ~quote gashly

Well you brought up some good questions gashly. But maybe you can inquire into how you can participate in updating the stickys. Often someone who likes to problem solve should do just that, solve problems when they notice them.

Yes, one can get stuck and end up complaining or feeling like they are feeding their own issues, I am sure that happens to many. If you sense that may be happening to you and you come and vent and still feel helpless than maybe you could vent, and then do some research that provides "food" for thought patterns that can help to resolve some of the venting issues.

I know of a couple of members here that do just that, while they do struggle themselves they actually think about some of the venting issues and then spend time finding articles that address some of these concerns.

I like those threads and often I reply to them, sometimes I have a lengthy reply as I am older and often these informational threads etc provoke me and I think in writing. For me that allows me to let my perceptions of the information out and then I often go back and review how I have responded to weigh my own perceptions or even see if anyone else either supports my perceptions or corrects them or adds to them.

And then there are those the start threads with a question that comes to them and sometimes it can be a common question or something many can post and discuss views in.

Are people here stuck? Yes, some are very troubled and stuck and don't even see how they are stuck. We also have younger members who don't truely have enough life experience to reply to certain posts and they often openly admit that but they do try to express at an acknowledgement as they like to be acknowledged themselves. It also isn't always easy to reply to someones vent or thread because they do not reveal enough of their lives and where they come from and sometimes they don't have enough about them on their about me page to give someone a real idea of where their struggles come from.

I have found PC very helpful and because some people have been further along and can see how I am stuck I have gotten some good ideas in how to re-examine my issue and think about something I may not be recognizing. And along the way I have been able to assist others by my suggestions.

There are ways one can learn here at PC. It can take time to learn how to use this site in a helpful manner rather than just focusing on the members that are stuck somehow.
The important thing to remember is that each of us are responible for taking steps to solve our own issues, through therapy etc. And as we all do that we can also come here and vent and offer support to others.

Sabby had an excellent reply to your questions.

I hope that you can find a way to utilize PC better.

Open Eyes

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I'm not very good at giving advice. I don't think I post a lot to when people write about their problems because I am useless. I try to make a effort but still I'm bad at giving advice.

You don't have to give advice! You can just soak up some from others, if you wish to! There's room for all.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

We also have younger members who don't truely have enough life experience to reply to certain posts and they often openly admit that but they do try to express at an acknowledgement as they like to be acknowledged themselves.

I agree. Most of my posts center in some way around my own problems because that's what I know. It's hard to give advice to people who are older than you - and being my age, almost everyone here is. It's not that we teens are self-centered or don't like to give advice, it's that we often cannot do so. Thanks Open Eyes for saying this so well

[Open Eyes]

(((((Indie))))))) and ((((((happycheeks)))))))

Oh yes, if you cannot or do not know what to post to someone it really is ok, after all your truely not expected to know more than you know. I do try to post with a mindfulness that at anytime a younger person may read my post. I think some members here sometimes post some big words and the meaning of their posts can be totally lost to any potential young reader.

Also for many young members I do notice that you might feel that you are asking the same questions over and over. But that is ok because as we all go through that period in our lives where we are truely just trying to comprehend our social environment and how each of us can find ways to manage it, there is that one constant question, HOW do I learn to fit in, am I worth anything, what do I do about bad people, and I think I am ugly and that is a common question that comes out in young teens all the way through the late 20's. Please don't feel like your not worthy of PC in any way. Just try to pick different topics and read some of the things that others say and see if you can learn anything, and if you have a question about an older person's posts, please don't be afraid to ask what something means.

Open Eyes

[Indie'sOK]

Being young and intellectually-minded (hopefully this doesn't come across as pretentiousness instead ), I like to get involved in lengthy discussions around the board. Other more well-informed members usually skip over the responses from people my age, probably thinking we have nothing of much use to add to the conversation. Which might be true, but I'd like to believe that I do have something

[Open Eyes]

Oh, I like to read the posts that you and other younger members present. I think that it is great that you try to add your oppinions and concerns and ideas where ever you can.
And believe it or not it often brings me back to my own thoughts and perceptions at your age. It is always good for each of us to put our thoughts out there because we learn from that, the thoughts and feelings we express are there in writing where we can go back and think about them again and see our own reactions and even how others react to us or along with us in different threads. Geez if everyone had the same reactions to everything it could get boring.

Open Eyes

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

Other more well-informed members usually skip over the responses from people my age...

If you hadn't told us, I, at least, would not have known how old you are.

(How old am I? )

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

Being young and intellectually-minded (hopefully this doesn't come across as pretentiousness instead ), I like to get involved in lengthy discussions around the board. Other more well-informed members usually skip over the responses from people my age, probably thinking we have nothing of much use to add to the conversation. Which might be true, but I'd like to believe that I do have something

Indie, until I saw your previous post that says you are in your teens I didn't know you were! I may not always agree with what you say, but you do have something to contribute. Shame on anyone who dismisses what you have to say because of your age.

One of the things I really like about PC is that members are all ages, from all over the world. Everybody has something to contribute!

[likewater]

I looove this site. I have gotten all kinds of links to resources and info here. I found it while i was waiting to get a T . Now have a bad T so still helpful. Also last night had a really bad time. Kaliope helped me and so did replying to other
posts. Just knowing i'm not alone,what i'm feeling is ok, and letting others know the same thing is wonderful. Also it's easier to talk
here because it's so anonymous. I can tell you guys things i cant tell anyone else. :-) thank you from bottom of my heart

[yellowted]

most of the time i found the only help i got from this site was the sense of purpose i got from trying to help others, but when i needed help there was little return, often being asked to explain my diagnosis over and over again so others could satisfy their curiosity rather than offer any real support or advice. now the only thing i usually do is play the games on the games bit, that way i do not have to explain my dx to anyone or get brought down by sifting through loads of posts to find any of slight relevance to me.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I may not always agree with what you say

Like what? I don't recall ever having said much that is considered controversial.............

edit...Nevermind........I'm really sorry if this last post insulted you LizardLady or anyone else. The slightest criticism freaks me out, that's all.

Hope it's alright (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

[cin1]

i think you made good points. now that anyone who reads your post knows you are looking for support, maybe you will find that. i am way over 40, but haven't really looked into what age anyone is. (one person asked my age and i never heard back). i find doing the daily mood chart is helpful. i have made three friends. so. i felt frustrated a lot when first coming, now i enjoy it, from time to time.

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by Indie'sOK

Like what? I don't recall ever having said much that is considered controversial.............

edit...Nevermind........I'm really sorry if this last post insulted you LizardLady or anyone else. The slightest criticism freaks me out, that's all.

Hope it's alright (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Indie, relax okay? You didn't say anything that insulted me. As far as I know you haven't insulted anyone. I sure didn't mean any critism. Maybe I didn't word my reply well. What I was trying to say is that you do have something to contribute to the site. Your age is irrelavent.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Indie, relax okay? You didn't say anything that insulted me. As far as I know you haven't insulted anyone. I sure didn't mean any critism. Maybe I didn't word my reply well. What I was trying to say is that you do have something to contribute to the site. Your age is irrelavent.

Sorry I got upset for a minute there - you didn't word your reply wrong, rather I probably read it too fast or something. Really sorry...

[Open Eyes]

((((Yellowted))))) I am so sorry, but I have to admitt I havent heard of that issue.
Perhaps you could put up a thread explaining what it means. Someone may have that issue and not know it.

Sorry, but thank you for your support in the past.

Open Eyes

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by yellowted

most of the time i found the only help i got from this site was the sense of purpose i got from trying to help others, but when i needed help there was little return, often being asked to explain my diagnosis over and over again so others could satisfy their curiosity rather than offer any real support or advice. now the only thing i usually do is play the games on the games bit, that way i do not have to explain my dx to anyone or get brought down by sifting through loads of posts to find any of slight relevance to me.

I have to say I find this reply a little insulting to those that have tried to help and support you. I know I have tried to help you in the past and it wasn't out of 'curiosity' I believe I tried to support you with 'real' support and advice. Sorry you feel this way, I guess if you are that unhappy with the support here then it is your right to choose to leave and find somewhere you feel more comfortable. Take care.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by yellowted

most of the time i found the only help i got from this site was the sense of purpose i got from trying to help others, but when i needed help there was little return, often being asked to explain my diagnosis over and over again so others could satisfy their curiosity rather than offer any real support or advice. now the only thing i usually do is play the games on the games bit, that way i do not have to explain my dx to anyone or get brought down by sifting through loads of posts to find any of slight relevance to me.

I don't think people ask about your diagnosis just out of their own curiosity. They probably were just looking for clarification. People here help - and do so not for selfish reasons. Like Pegasus said, you are free to come and go as you please.