Hi,

First of all, this is the one I am referring to:

"Members should generally not speak for, or about (especially in a negative manner), other current or past members."

I have, in the past, posted a comment on the Kudos and Affirmations thread thanking and recognizing a member who is no longer posting. It's never been badly received, nor has anyone objected to it.

What I DON'T understand is that the guideline does say "current or past members". If that is the case, then the whole Kudos and Affirmations thread should be done away with because that's what it does....it speaks about current members.

I also don't understand why the needs of one (who is possibly no longer here, and who the posting NEVER speaks badly about, only well) outweighs the needs of the many.
In a way, it is a LOSS to many of us. We do, to an extent, grieve that the person is no longer here, and to add to that the departure is sudden (as per the guideline that states that you may not discuss that you are leaving).

I would like to respectfully request that this guideline be reconsidered so that the many of us who do care enough to say a thank you to those who were here, be able to recognize them.

Thank you

[Yours_Truly]

I'm thinking it's okay to speak of members whether past or present in the Kudos and Affirmations thread precisely because it is for positive acknowledgement of members and not negative, therefore it's supportive. Idk.

[DocJohn]

Sorry, but offering kudos or thanks to another member isn't the same as what this guideline addresses -- speaking about other members "behind their backs" when they are not there to defend themselves.

You're welcomed to give as many kudos and thanks to any member, past or present, you would like.

Thank you for the response.

The only mention I have seen of members who are no longer present has been very positive and have needed no "defense".
I also have only said positive things and those comments have been removed by a moderator. Other posters also have only offered kudos and thanks.

I'm sorry I'm so thick that I don't understand this....

Is it okay to say "I see Joeshmo isn't posting any more....He gave great advice and I will miss his words of wisdom. Thank you, Joe"?

Is that negativity or speaking behind their backs?

I am sorry if my posts come across as short...I have a lot of difficulty expressing myself, especially when I'm hurt by something.

I know I maybe shouldn't care, but I do. So, please take into consideration how sad I am about this when explaining to me.

[Gus1234U]

it seems to me that greater latitude has been allowed in the Kudos forum than elsewhere. also, i think this particular rule originated in Chat, where people were talking about what so-and-so had done, and not nicely, either.

that being said, some people have a knack for phrasing which is considered more acceptable than other well-meaning expressions. it's good to notice how the acceptable comments are phrased, and perhaps seek to be more like that.

i know how it can hurt to have a post censored or removed, but in the end it IS a learning experience, and this particular rule is so important i doubt it will be changed without some major community consensus.

best wishes, Sophie's Mom~

[DocJohn]

Yes, you're welcomed to say you miss so-and-so's words of wisdom or what-not. That's perfectly fine.

Think of the community guidelines as an attempt to help members think of and post in the best possible, supportive way for others. As long as your post is in that spirit, it's never going to go against anything in the guidelines.

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

it seems to me that greater latitude has been allowed in the Kudos forum than elsewhere. also, i think this particular rule originated in Chat, where people were talking about what so-and-so had done, and not nicely, either.

that being said, some people have a knack for phrasing which is considered more acceptable than other well-meaning expressions. it's good to notice how the acceptable comments are phrased, and perhaps seek to be more like that.

i know how it can hurt to have a post censored or removed, but in the end it IS a learning experience, and this particular rule is so important i doubt it will be changed without some major community consensus.

best wishes, Sophie's Mom~

Thank you Gus! You're so kind....
Just to be clear, I am most certainly not hurt when my posts get removed. Not at all. I get that completely. I just like to recognize and thank members that I don't see here anymore.

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Yes, you're welcomed to say you miss so-and-so's words of wisdom or what-not. That's perfectly fine.

Think of the community guidelines as an attempt to help members think of and post in the best possible, supportive way for others. As long as your post is in that spirit, it's never going to go against anything in the guidelines.

Thank you. I appreciate the clarification.