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Hi Rainwind. I'm new to this forum and just read your posts. Even though these are older, I wanted to respond, I hope that you're still able to see this.

I went through some very similar things and my heart goes out to you. My aunt is mentally ill (undiagnosed) and I lived with her for almost 3 years, during which time she physically and emotionally abused me, and she enabled an uncle to sexually abuse me as well during that time.

I know that in your last post you said that you want to leave the past in the past and concentrate on the now, and I wholeheartedly agree, but.... I think that it would be beneficial for you to honor what happened to you, and allow yourself to sort through your feelings and memories. I think it's important for us to do this in order to heal.

I hope that you find comfort and healing, whatever you do.