[brownhare]

Hi I was thinking about how the military and trauma experienced within the military might affect people who had trauma BEFORE the military.

I know from my peers who were in care for home abuse that the military offered a family and a rebuilding process to offset the trauma.

Clean clothes, regular meals, family better than blood family, routine, consistency, reward for hard effort, travel, a future, a sense of belonging, responsibility recognized....it all works to offset the trauma first experienced this new family right until the point where.

The family is sent in to live or die together and some die, in front of their new and most loved brothers and sisters.

This happened to my Dad. He is 72 now and was an undiagnosed alcoholic monster for many years after he saw terrible action in the Aiden.

I am carrying a lot of that trauma as well as my own but I can't help wondering what the cumulative effect is when someone escapes family based trauma into armed service and finds brotherhood and safety only to lose it via the death and uncertainty of combat.

The armed service is traditionally a safe home from a bad home for many young men and women. I wonder how many of these men and women hit a double whammy when that safety is pulled due to combat and all the certainty and safety in the service is gone in an instant of bloodshed and comrade loss.

I wonder if this what finished my Dad off mentally. I wonder how many others are finished off by having the safe place destroyed and all the trauma of home running back into the now after a bad combat stint where people and safety were lost.

I think complex PTSD is cumulative in that we bounce back from some trauma with hope and we re build to a degree based on new senses of stability and safety and worth. I wonder if cumulative trauma is what happens when that second chance at trust in life is thoroughly smashed to bits.

I often wonder how it feels to find safety in the armed services only to have that sense of safety crushed by combat trauma. Can't be good and it makes me think of the so called safe relationships that I had after my trauma of beatings and sexual attacks only to discover that safe place was not safe after all and having hands around your throat from the person who told you they understood and all would be well is enough to tip any trauma survivor back into the drink.

Just thinking with love for all those who escaped trauma into service and found new trauma amongst new brothers and sisters. With love x

[brownhare]

Watching MASH actually taught me a lot about my Dad. He lost his people twice.

[ChipperMonkey]

I think that if you really look into those with PTSD, you'll find that a great amount is due to cumulative trauma, even in those who have never served.

Many people experience horrific things in childhood and are able to heal, only to be re-traumatized. The childhood trauma may not cause full blown PTSD but it does lay the foundation for future problems.

I think there's a great danger in only assuming that the most current trauma is responsible for the disorder. In reality, all of it needs to be worked through.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by brownhare

Hi I was thinking about how the military and trauma experienced within the military might affect people who had trauma BEFORE the military.

I know from my peers who were in care for home abuse that the military offered a family and a rebuilding process to offset the trauma.

Clean clothes, regular meals, family better than blood family, routine, consistency, reward for hard effort, travel, a future, a sense of belonging, responsibility recognized....it all works to offset the trauma first experienced this new family right until the point where.

The family is sent in to live or die together and some die, in front of their new and most loved brothers and sisters.

This happened to my Dad. He is 72 now and was an undiagnosed alcoholic monster for many years after he saw terrible action in the Aiden.

I am carrying a lot of that trauma as well as my own but I can't help wondering what the cumulative effect is when someone escapes family based trauma into armed service and finds brotherhood and safety only to lose it via the death and uncertainty of combat.

The armed service is traditionally a safe home from a bad home for many young men and women. I wonder how many of these men and women hit a double whammy when that safety is pulled due to combat and all the certainty and safety in the service is gone in an instant of bloodshed and comrade loss.

I wonder if this what finished my Dad off mentally. I wonder how many others are finished off by having the safe place destroyed and all the trauma of home running back into the now after a bad combat stint where people and safety were lost.

I think complex PTSD is cumulative in that we bounce back from some trauma with hope and we re build to a degree based on new senses of stability and safety and worth. I wonder if cumulative trauma is what happens when that second chance at trust in life is thoroughly smashed to bits.

I often wonder how it feels to find safety in the armed services only to have that sense of safety crushed by combat trauma. Can't be good and it makes me think of the so called safe relationships that I had after my trauma of beatings and sexual attacks only to discover that safe place was not safe after all and having hands around your throat from the person who told you they understood and all would be well is enough to tip any trauma survivor back into the drink.

Just thinking with love for all those who escaped trauma into service and found new trauma amongst new brothers and sisters. With love x

I think you've made a very insightful post. I suffered severe trauma in childhood and subsequently joined the military. There I was part of a tight knit team that saw combat in six war zones; two of us made it home from our last assignment. Five years later, he took his own life and I am now the only one of my unit still alive.

I've healed from both childhood and combat, but a recurring theme along the journey was the desire to return to a place where the rules were simple - survive at all costs and destroy that which threatens your survival. The most challenging parts of healing from my childhood and reintegrating into society after the military were learning how to live without trauma imposed daily.

[brownhare]

Originally Posted by yagr

I think you've made a very insightful post. I suffered severe trauma in childhood and subsequently joined the military. There I was part of a tight knit team that saw combat in six war zones; two of us made it home from our last assignment. Five years later, he took his own life and I am now the only one of my unit still alive.

I've healed from both childhood and combat, but a recurring theme along the journey was the desire to return to a place where the rules were simple - survive at all costs and destroy that which threatens your survival. The most challenging parts of healing from my childhood and reintegrating into society after the military were learning how to live without trauma imposed daily.

I'm glad you've healed. My old man is also better now, at 72 he is the same man but with a lot of time and distance behind him and he is well beyond the bad days of drinking and rage. I have been able to forgive him as I have grown and learned more about trauma and how it develops and can run through the heart of a family. I love my Father despite or because I am a part of his trauma I don't know. But one thing is for sure, whilst I know I deserved a whole lot better as a child, I can say that he deserved better as a combat veteran in 1972 and that his wounds became mine and my brothers because his were not addressed back then. For a kid who grew up witnessing PTSD manifest through alcoholism I have a lot of heart for healing myself and laying this to rest for future generations in our family.
My Dad is on-board with this as well, he KNOWS who he was back then and he carries it these days as deep shame that my brother and I are keen to release him from. He's suffered enough, we all have.
It's a bad business no doubt about it, but we are getting to the root of it and digging out the rot so that the latest generation in our family are free from the echoes of the unhealed pain that our Fathers carried alone.
Best wishes I am GLAD that you are healed I am sorry for your losses and stoked for your survival. x