Giving Myself Permission

I did really well today because I managed to reframe my thoughts around my birthday. My birthday was a time of year that my mother abused me the most (aside from Christmas and Mother's Day). Except that I'm still feeling some of the effects, and it's making me want to kill myself. It's really dumb, but I feel like I'm never going to get past this, though I know it takes time. I can't sleep, and I keep going back to not deserving a birthday. It's nonsense, because everyone has one, but it's the hurdle I can't get past. I make myself celebrate it while feeling undeserving and terrible. I'm learning that I need to give myself permission to be loved and wanted and to be treated like a human, not less than. I also have to give myself permission to crumble and hibernate for a day, as I most assuredly won't be able to deal with reality tomorrow.

Hi Aracnae: The Skeezyks celebrates your success with reframing your thoughts, today, around your birthday! Yes... it takes a long time to get over hurts from the past. Even now, when decades have gone by, there are still painful memories from my youth I struggle with. Logically I know it all happened a long time ago & no longer makes any difference. But emotionally it still hurts. Please do give yourself permission to be loved & wanted as well as to crumble & hibernate for a day. Taking care of yourself is wise...