CPTSD and Holidays

Trace14 · Oct 26, 2016, 04:25 PM

Do you have issues with the holidays? I hate Halloween with all the gruesome displays of death. Then the others are just very sad because I always spent them with Dad.

mindwrench · Oct 26, 2016, 04:59 PM

I don't like the holidays anymore either. Halloween in particular caused me a lot of issues when I was younger with the scare houses and horror movies. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentines etc. just remind me of who is not in my life anymore, and how my life has degraded vs past holidays.

Trace14 · Oct 26, 2016, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mindwrench

I don't like the holidays anymore either. Halloween in particular caused me a lot of issues when I was younger with the scare houses and horror movies. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentines etc. just remind me of who is not in my life anymore, and how my life has degraded vs past holidays.

They can certainly take a toll on you for all kinds of reasons. Some you are aware of some not. I hope we can find some way to get through the next few months.

ThisWayOut · Oct 26, 2016, 07:41 PM

I love Halloween. It was the only holiday we could get out and have fun... and costumes/pretending was encouraged. It's still the only holiday I truly enjoy, though I stay away from the gruesome stuff. The monsters parading around were never as bad as the monsters at home...
All the other holidays were filed with "family time" (read "unending fighting")... and since I stopped eating meat, turkey day is just a torturous day filed with gross food I don't eat. The highlight is generally the desert, but lately even that's been pretty awful.
Christmas and new year traditionally held the worst fighting, and new years serves to remind me I've gone yet another year failing at life...
I've found the holidays bring out the worst in me. I get cranky, angry, and mean. I try to be conscious of it, but it's such a trigger, and it's inescapable. I'm constantly checking myself around my dislike, especially since the wife LOVES the holidays and all the family time. I try my best to work on those days if I can.

Trace14 · Oct 26, 2016, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

I love Halloween. It was the only holiday we could get out and have fun... and costumes/pretending was encouraged. It's still the only holiday I truly enjoy, though I stay away from the gruesome stuff. The monsters parading around were never as bad as the monsters at home...
All the other holidays were filed with "family time" (read "unending fighting")... and since I stopped eating meat, turkey day is just a torturous day filed with gross food I don't eat. The highlight is generally the desert, but lately even that's been pretty awful.
Christmas and new year traditionally held the worst fighting, and new years serves to remind me I've gone yet another year failing at life...
I've found the holidays bring out the worst in me. I get cranky, angry, and mean. I try to be conscious of it, but it's such a trigger, and it's inescapable. I'm constantly checking myself around my dislike, especially since the wife LOVES the holidays and all the family time. I try my best to work on those days if I can.

I understand. There's more food to eat than Turkey on T'day. I it depends on where you are from. We have a lot of veggies also.
I could do without Halloween. I guess I don't like people hiding who they really are, always been afraid of mimes, not clowns though. Like I said some of the gruesome stuff triggers memories of events similar to their costumes.
I used to like holidays, it's been years since I put up a tree. Just doesn't matter anymore.

Raindropvampire · Oct 26, 2016, 10:01 PM

I'm okay with holidays now. I focus on who's here instead of who's gone. That used to be hard to do because my mom would always set a place for my sister. After about 8 years she stopped and so now at holidays I can just focus on the present.

For me it's birthdays and anniversaries that are hard but even that has lessened with time.

Trace14 · Oct 26, 2016, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I'm okay with holidays now. I focus on who's here instead of who's gone. That used to be hard to do because my mom would always set a place for my sister. After about 8 years she stopped and so now at holidays I can just focus on the present.

For me it's birthdays and anniversaries that are hard but even that has lessened with time.

I will be glad when it lessens up.

mindwrench · Oct 26, 2016, 10:23 PM

I think Christmas is the worst for me. The tv specials, and the old movies they always start playing. Certain vintage kids Christmas shows are like kryptonite for me, I can't watch them or hear them. Shopping really sucks that time of year too. And driving anywhere after dark and seeing all the lights, it makes me feel very lost and alone.

Trace14 · Oct 26, 2016, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mindwrench

I think Christmas is the worst for me. The tv specials, and the old movies they always start playing. Certain vintage kids Christmas shows are like kryptonite for me, I can't watch them or hear them. Shopping really sucks that time of year too. And driving anywhere after dark and seeing all the lights, it makes me feel very lost and alone.

I guess I fortunate that I don't have those happy memories like that to remember. Not sure that's a good thing or not. I guess it's true that you don't miss what you never had. I'm sorry it's so hard for you though. Too bad there's not a magic wand we could wave and just make all holidays the happiest times ever, always. *sigh*

Trace14 · Oct 26, 2016, 11:23 PM

Good article Tama Lane, Psy.D.: Why PTSD Flares Up During the Holidays--And What You Can Do About It | Huffington Post

Unrigged64072835 · Oct 27, 2016, 10:08 AM

I don't like large groups of people so these holidays aren't as exciting for me. Thankfully i spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with just my husband. My daughter goes to her boyfriend's family for those days, and it's loud and boisterous over there. My C-PTSD also kicks up during the holidays, so I appreciate the quiet and simple approach.

88Butterfly88 · Oct 27, 2016, 04:01 PM

Easter is a big trigger for me, as the worst of my abuse happened at an egg hunt. All the decorations for it trigger me too. It's the hardest time of year for me.

Trace14 · Oct 27, 2016, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I don't like large groups of people so these holidays aren't as exciting for me. Thankfully i spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with just my husband. My daughter goes to her boyfriend's family for those days, and it's loud and boisterous over there. My C-PTSD also kicks up during the holidays, so I appreciate the quiet and simple approach.

I agree, large groups of people, holidays or not are unsettling.

Trace14 · Oct 27, 2016, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

Easter is a big trigger for me, as the worst of my abuse happened at an egg hunt. All the decorations for it trigger me too. It's the hardest time of year for me.

So sorry, that would be hard to deal with.

88Butterfly88 · Oct 28, 2016, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trace14

So sorry, that would be hard to deal with.

Thanks, yeah it is hard to deal with.

Open Eyes · Oct 28, 2016, 10:05 AM

The holidays are the busiest time for therapists as that is the hardest time for a lot of people. I have a hard time myself. The important thing to do is to do extra self care and find something you "can" do that is a positive, even if that means renting movies that are your favorites, planning on having a special meal for yourself and just making whatever holiday it is about self care and relaxing, light some candles, snuggle with a good book or a movie and eat something you like to eat.

Trace14 · Oct 28, 2016, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

The holidays are the busiest time for therapists as that is the hardest time for a lot of people. I have a hard time myself. The important thing to do is to do extra self care and find something you "can" do that is a positive, even if that means renting movies that are your favorites, planning on having a special meal for yourself and just making whatever holiday it is about self care and relaxing, light some candles, snuggle with a good book or a movie and eat something you like to eat.

Good ideas, especially if you are alone for the holidays. I expect it can be even more challenging when you have family around that want to get excited about the holidays, and you just can't muster that excitement up.

Open Eyes · Oct 28, 2016, 04:17 PM

Well, the holidays got too commercial and there is pressure to follow along with buying and celebrating in grandiose ways. Well, there is really no need to be grandiose when a holiday presents itself, it's a day off to do as one wishes, even if that means keeping it simple and quiet.

Trace14 · Oct 28, 2016, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Well, the holidays got too commercial and there is pressure to follow along with buying and celebrating in grandiose ways. Well, there is really no need to be grandiose when a holiday presents itself, it's a day off to do as one wishes, even if that means keeping it simple and quiet.

I agree it's totally gotten out of hand, but before all this I really enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the holidays *sigh* maybe one day.

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