[Parva]

There is very little written about emotional flashbacks. I think Bessel van der Kolk alludes to them, but doesn't draw a clear distinction from PTSD-based flashbacks. The only one who really does is Pete Walker.

Is anyone interested in writing down their experiences with emotional flashbacks with the intent to potentially share these experiences outside of PC (all anonymous, of course)? The more detail, the better. I'm thinking that we might be able to put these together in a kind of 'white paper' and share it as an editorial in one of the trauma-based journals? The goal would be to stimulate discussion among the field. Maybe get some younger psychologists interested? It could make a difference. I'm a scientist, so I understand the process of publishing. I also get the vulnerability, shame, and fear that goes with this, so if no one's on board, that's fine. Just thoughts and ideas.

I'm taking a chance by posting this, so it would be nice if no one blasted me for being an idiot.

[Teanne]

Hello Parva ... I've never heard the term "emotional flashbacks" before. My psychiatrist just calls it non-service related PTSD. She said some psychiatrists refer to service-related flashbacks and traumas like rape and murder as "Big T" traumas and emotional traumas such as verbal, physical, and emotional abuse as little "t" traumas. I'd like to take on the person who would refer to what I went through as a little "t" trauma! My mother emotionally, verbally, physically, and (some doctors say) sexually abused me from about 12 years old on. That was the age where I started to want to try out my wings, explore extracurricular activities, etc. She totally destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence. I grieve for the child who I was becoming before she started in on me. I would love to know how I my life would have turned out differently without her abuse. She did not want to have to worry about me entering puberty, joining extra-curricular activities, going to dances, etc. so she told me that I was immature both physically and emotionally, that I was scrawny, mousey, and plain. She would tell me that I would fail at anything I wanted to try out for (cheerleading, forensics, debate, drama club, gymnastics, swim club, and on and on). She would go on and on about how beautiful and popular she was at my age. She bragged about having a great figure, how she dated the captain of the football team, how all the boys chased after her, and what a fun-loving personality she had at my age. She would compare me to other girls in my class and tell me how this one or that one's mother said they had boys over after school, how much more mature and popular they were than I was, and basically what an ugly duckling I was. She never attended any events like band concerts that I was in, did not attend my Confirmation at church, etc. She refused to let me attend the dances after the football games in high school. Unbelievable that any mother would talk and act that way toward her own daughter! Yes, I was a little immature. She pushed me into first grade while I was four years old...not quite five. Back then, the rules were not as strict as they are now. I could read at four, so she considered kindergarten a waste. I don't remember my mother ever telling me that she loved me...or even hugged me. When I sassed back at her, she beat me with a belt like I was a horse. My mother always was and still is one of the biggest control freaks on the face of this earth. My poor dad was a sweet, laid back man. If he tried to open his mouth, she would shut him up very fast. Finally, he just gave up interfering in the way she raised me. I felt like a failure my entire life...even though I developed into a total perfectionist because I was always hoping to find some way of gaining her approval. I had serious emotional problems from the age of 22 on. I still to this day re-live all those hateful things she said and did to me when I am in a public or stressful situation. If this is what you are referring to as emotional flashbacks, then yes, I do have them and think your idea is a good one.

[Open Eyes]

There are definitely a lot of "emotional" flashbacks when it comes to PTSD. Actually, the part of the brain that is most affected by PTSD is the amydala which is the area of the brain that our emotions are.

[Open Eyes]

Teanne,

Your mother was/is a narcissist. I am sorry for how that affected you because these kind of people tend to desire the attention and like to have things around them that boost "their" ego.

It can be very hard to do trauma therapy because individuals that suffer from complex PTSD are individuals who have a great deal of emotional "hurt". Trauma work is difficult because talking about the thing that caused us pain means also "feeling" that pain which is something people who suffer want to "avoid".

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Parva

There is very little written about emotional flashbacks. I think Bessel van der Kolk alludes to them, but doesn't draw a clear distinction from PTSD-based flashbacks. The only one who really does is Pete Walker.

Is anyone interested in writing down their experiences with emotional flashbacks with the intent to potentially share these experiences outside of PC (all anonymous, of course)? The more detail, the better. I'm thinking that we might be able to put these together in a kind of 'white paper' and share it as an editorial in one of the trauma-based journals? The goal would be to stimulate discussion among the field. Maybe get some younger psychologists interested? It could make a difference. I'm a scientist, so I understand the process of publishing. I also get the vulnerability, shame, and fear that goes with this, so if no one's on board, that's fine. Just thoughts and ideas.

I'm taking a chance by posting this, so it would be nice if no one blasted me for being an idiot.

Why would someone blast you? You are no way an idiot. I appreciate your thinking outside the box on this. Often that's the only way things get discovered or changed. Maybe post a definition of an emotional flashback and let people "chew" on that for a while. I expect a lot of people are unaware of the emotional flashbacks they are having. Not that they are having them but what to call them. Great idea though.

[MtnTime2896]

I'm interested in helping you out, though I'd probably go into more detailed things over PM to avoid any kind of trigger for people. I'm not sure I'd know where to begin, though.

[Teanne]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Teanne,

Your mother was/is a narcissist. I am sorry for how that affected you because these kind of people tend to desire the attention and like to have things around them that boost "their" ego.

It can be very hard to do trauma therapy because individuals that suffer from complex PTSD are individuals who have a great deal of emotional "hurt". Trauma work is difficult because talking about the thing that caused us pain means also "feeling" that pain which is something people who suffer want to "avoid".

I understand what you are saying. I would love to do trauma therapy. No therapist ever quite put it that way before. However, now I am in the situation where I am retired and am on a Medicare Advantage Plan. We have a shortage of therapists around here as it is, so nobody wants to accept a Medicare patient when the reimbursement is so poor.

[Open Eyes]

I had the same challenge in that when it came to finding a "trauma" specialist they were way too expensive. I paid my last therapist out of my own pocket and he charged me on a curve because he could see I needed help badly. He was a good therapist but even though he was charging me on a curve I got so I could no longer afford to see him.

It's very hard to find a good trauma therapist and if you are on Medicare, you are correct, a lot of therapists don't take that kind of insurance. Also if a patient has been traumatized badly to the point where they are disassociating, therapists have a hard time with these patients, they don't know how to maintain a connection and keep these patients talking.

When it comes to trauma work, often it is better if a patient is "learning" first because after a while with some patience that can "slowly" help a patient to begin to find a way to articulate their own trauma.

When something takes place that completely overwhelms someone emotionally, that individual "avoids" because there is a lot of fear of being emotionally overwhelmed.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I had the same challenge in that when it came to finding a "trauma" specialist they were way too expensive. I paid my last therapist out of my own pocket and he charged me on a curve because he could see I needed help badly. He was a good therapist but even though he was charging me on a curve I got so I could no longer afford to see him.

It's very hard to find a good trauma therapist and if you are on Medicare, you are correct, a lot of therapists don't take that kind of insurance. Also if a patient has been traumatized badly to the point where they are disassociating, therapists have a hard time with these patients, they don't know how to maintain a connection and keep these patients talking.

When it comes to trauma work, often it is better if a patient is "learning" first because after a while with some patience that can "slowly" help a patient to begin to find a way to articulate their own trauma.

When something takes place that completely overwhelms someone emotionally, that individual "avoids" because there is a lot of fear of being emotionally overwhelmed.

" Also if a patient has been traumatized badly to the point where they are disassociating, therapists have a hard time with these patients, they don't know how to maintain a connection and keep these patients talking. "
Never thought about this, but when I'm dissociating "why" is the least of my concerns. But it would be a challenge for a T I expect. Good point.

[Open Eyes]

My last therapist talked about that with me. I had not thought about that either, some patients go into therapy and space out because they just don't know where to start and think they have to get right into the problem that they have a hard time talking about.

Sometimes a patient has to really "learn" how to do therapy too.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

My last therapist talked about that with me. I had not thought about that either, some patients go into therapy and space out because they just don't know where to start and think they have to get right into the problem that they have a hard time talking about.

Sometimes a patient has to really "learn" how to do therapy too.

Well learning to do therapy sounds like a good topic. I know my very first T said I wasn't ready for therapy and I never did understand that. I still wonder if it wasn't that she wasn't ready or able to help me.

[Trace14]

Kati Morton
Is TRAUMA THERAPY possible if we DISSOCIATE?