[Trace14]

Okay, so I think I need a reason to stay in therapy pep talk. I can't find a balance of what my T expects of me between sessions and my real life responsibilities and it's overwhelming me physically and emotionally. I know....I need to talk to my T about this. But that's part of the problem not wanting to disappoint people who expect something from me. When I do that though I totally forget to take care of me and I don't see therapy homework as taking care of me. In fact I have a hard time understanding why she asks me to do what she does? There must be a reason to her madness

It just seems I stay in my head all the time trying to figure out what needs to be done first , what can wait, it drives me to a panic attack and then I say it's not worth this and I do nothing.

I've found that when I get the energy and thought to do something here around the house I need to do it. Or else I will not come back to it for a while because there will be something else that needs to be done. Like today I was cleaning out my pantry, oh did I mention I'm a hoarder, with that in mind you can pretty well image what this pantry looks like. So I started cleaning that out and then it hit me I have done my therapy home work, so I left that and started looking at the therapy homework, then I looked at what all I had drug out of the pantry and I say _____ it and don't do either.

[reb569]

I am the queen of unfinished projects so I can relate. I get easily distracted from things I'm doing, especially if it's a tedious task. I've always been like that. Recently though (the last year), it also happens with things I enjoy doing.

An example from this weekend. Historically when I am working on a new website project, I can work on it for several hours straight. On Saturday, I started a project that has been on my list of things to do for several months. I did manage 4 hours on it and did well, and was happy with that. Yesterday, I tried to do the same, could only manage half an hour. I was very disappointed in myself. I couldn't get in the groove.

Anyway -- I can totally relate to starting something, getting distracted, then getting neither done.

I would recommend that you stay in therapy, but maybe explain to your therapist that the homework is distracting you from doing other things and is causing you distress. Maybe back off on the homework for a while, or decrease it?

[SoupDragon]

I wonder if your T can set homework that combines with real life chore stuff? Not sure what homework you get set, but for example my T tries to get me to practice mindfulness more and I try to do it while I am tidying the house. Hope that makes sense???

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I wonder if your T can set homework that combines with real life chore stuff? Not sure what homework you get set, but for example my T tries to get me to practice mindfulness more and I try to do it while I am tidying the house. Hope that makes sense???

Going to try to discuss that with her on Wednesday , it's overwhelming for sure

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

I am the queen of unfinished projects so I can relate. I get easily distracted from things I'm doing, especially if it's a tedious task. I've always been like that. Recently though (the last year), it also happens with things I enjoy doing.

An example from this weekend. Historically when I am working on a new website project, I can work on it for several hours straight. On Saturday, I started a project that has been on my list of things to do for several months. I did manage 4 hours on it and did well, and was happy with that. Yesterday, I tried to do the same, could only manage half an hour. I was very disappointed in myself. I couldn't get in the groove.

Anyway -- I can totally relate to starting something, getting distracted, then getting neither done.

I would recommend that you stay in therapy, but maybe explain to your therapist that the homework is distracting you from doing other things and is causing you distress. Maybe back off on the homework for a while, or decrease it?

Yes, you do understand. The thing with hoarding is finding that place to start and that fear of needing it in the future.
I will talk to the T on Wednesday, since I haven't done most of what she told me I'm sure she will be pretty disappointed, but I'm not going to lie to her about it. It is what it is. Hopefully we can come to a compromise . Something has to give that's for sure.

[reb569]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Yes, you do understand. The thing with hoarding is finding that place to start and that fear of needing it in the future.
I will talk to the T on Wednesday, since I haven't done most of what she told me I'm sure she will be pretty disappointed, but I'm not going to lie to her about it. It is what it is. Hopefully we can come to a compromise . Something has to give that's for sure.

I'm hoping that your therapist surprises you. I definitely agree, be honest, but also let her know that she's asking you to go to fast.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

I'm hoping that your therapist surprises you. I definitely agree, be honest, but also let her know that she's asking you to go to fast.

Well I just emailed to her to cancel tomorrows appointment and give me time to re-group, been in a melt down since Saturday. I wonder if it had anything to do with the steroid injection I got Thursday? Probably not. Just a lot going on with sickness in the family, this dang Home Owners Assoc., and therapy requirements.
Wow, just Googled Steroid injections and mental health and one article had the word "melt down" so I read it. Seems there is some correlation between those injections and depression/anxiety. Would have been nice to know before hand. https://healthunlocked.com/pmrgcauk/...l-side-effects

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

I'm hoping that your therapist surprises you. I definitely agree, be honest, but also let her know that she's asking you to go to fast.

She responded back and wants to shorten the session instead of counseling. I said okay but I know what she's up to, once she gets me in session to continue on, but I guess that will be okay. She did say we will be skipping next week so they may be a good break.

[Open Eyes]

I think it's important to recognize when you are getting overwhelmed and that may mean slowing down with therapy. I had found therapy very tiring at times.

Good to know what you found out about steriods too.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I think it's important to recognize when you are getting overwhelmed and that may mean slowing down with therapy. I had found therapy very tiring at times.

Good to know what you found out about steriods too.

I think she will work something out with me, just hate to disappoint some one who is trying to help me, ya know. Since we will not have a session next week, that will be a good break I think.
I had no idea about the steroids. The scary part is a lot of people with PTSD and CPTSD have chronic pain and may be getting steroid injections. This needs to be discussed with doctors, I got so bad this week that I connected with the VA PTSD line, didn't go through with it but I took their little pretest and they said they would really like to talk with me. That's where I stopped .

[reb569]

Originally Posted by Trace14

She responded back and wants to shorten the session instead of counseling. I said okay but I know what she's up to, once she gets me in session to continue on, but I guess that will be okay. She did say we will be skipping next week so they may be a good break.

I hope it works out well for you. In general, I don't think therapists want to overwhelm anyone. By reaching out to her and letting her know, you've put the ball in her court to come up with something different.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

I hope it works out well for you. In general, I don't think therapists want to overwhelm anyone. By reaching out to her and letting her know, you've put the ball in her court to come up with something different.

If there wasn't so much other stuff going on the Homework would be fine. But when I can't get any of it done it's very stressful.
I don't think the T wants to overwhelm me but she's making a strong point that I need to do this homework, set aside that time. If I shut my head off and sit down and "be" with the homework that would be fine but I sit there with a racetrack going on in my head reminding me of things I need to get done, people to call etc. I get sick and then just give up.
What are you doing up this time of the morning? 0418 here.

[reb569]

What are you doing up this time of the morning? 0418 here.

I'm an early riser. I'm usually up by 2 or 3 in the morning.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

I'm an early riser. I'm usually up by 2 or 3 in the morning.

You stay up? I and up and down al night. But I will go back to bed and usually get my best sleep between 6a.m. and noon

Had the session and with the T and it went okay. Was in a deep fog for some reason. But I was able to emotionally connect in the PE therapy. So now I don't see her again for two weeks She is really a unique therapist, intelligent but has common sense as well, plus she does seem to genuinely care or else she's one helluva actor

[reb569]

Originally Posted by Trace14

You stay up? I and up and down al night. But I will go back to bed and usually get my best sleep between 6a.m. and noon

Had the session and with the T and it went okay. Was in a deep fog for some reason. But I was able to emotionally connect in the PE therapy. So now I don't see her again for two weeks She is really a unique therapist, intelligent but has common sense as well, plus she does seem to genuinely care or else she's one helluva actor

Yes, most days I do stay up now. I'm on a flex schedule at work and generally am on my way to work by 6am if not sooner. When I was working my normal 8 to 5, I would often lay back down for a power-nap. The weekends are different. I usually get up a little later and end up napping at some point during the morning.

I'm glad your session went ok.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I think it's important to recognize when you are getting overwhelmed and that may mean slowing down with therapy. I had found therapy very tiring at times.

Good to know what you found out about steriods too.

I agree. I'm going through a similar issue right now. Therapy...weigh the pros vs cons for right now. If the cons are greater - you can resume therapy when you're ready.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

Yes, most days I do stay up now. I'm on a flex schedule at work and generally am on my way to work by 6am if not sooner. When I was working my normal 8 to 5, I would often lay back down for a power-nap. The weekends are different. I usually get up a little later and end up napping at some point during the morning.

I'm glad your session went ok.

Thanks, yes the session went okay from what I remember. She didn't seem mad or disappointed. We did the recording again and it seemed to be a little more emotionally connected this time, but on a deeper level. I was glad we ran out of time before we brought out something we couldn't put back in for two weeks till the next session.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by glamslam

I agree. I'm going through a similar issue right now. Therapy...weigh the pros vs cons for right now. If the cons are greater - you can resume therapy when you're ready.

I think therapy breaks are good sometimes as long as they are for the right reasons. If like me and just wanting a break to add to my avoidance issues might not be the best thing to do, but other than that might be okay.