[Trace14]

Never heard anyone discuss this. Are they two different things completely? Is SH not a common thing for CPTSD people?

[childofchaos831]

I have C-PTSD and self harm.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I have C-PTSD and self harm.

Thank you for your response and honesty. I have a question not sure if I can say the words right though. The SH is a pain release from the trauma a person experienced, right? I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but something is making me wonder about it.

[reb569]

I never really thought of self-harm in relation to CPTSD. I think anyone who feels a lack of control over their life, or anger that they cannot express has a tendency towards self-harm. In a way, I think the strong inner and outer critics in CPTSD are a method of self-harm. I am so hard on myself sometimes. I lash out with the horrible names and self-hate. It's like I mentally torture myself over and over again.

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Thank you for your response and honesty. I have a question not sure if I can say the words right though. The SH is a pain release from the trauma a person experienced, right? I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but something is making me wonder about it.

I think it changes each time... sometimes, I need the pain to feel real. It's like it reminds me I have a body. Sometimes I use sh to calm things down when every nerve in my body feels like it is in lvl 10 emergency mode. Sometimes I use it because I feel weak or I think I did something wrong and I deserve it (not true). The sh can do a lot of things for me, that part of why it's so hard to stop.

[xenos]

Originally Posted by reb569

I never really thought of self-harm in relation to CPTSD. I think anyone who feels a lack of control over their life, or anger that they cannot express has a tendency towards self-harm. In a way, I think the strong inner and outer critics in CPTSD are a method of self-harm. I am so hard on myself sometimes. I lash out with the horrible names and self-hate. It's like I mentally torture myself over and over again.

I think you are making an important point, self harm is not only physical but also psychological.

You are right, unexpressed anger can precipitate into depression. Definitely the inner critic is a method of self harm. Self empathy and compassion come from positive psychological experiences with our parents, which is why we tend to be so hard on ourselves and critical. I notice sometimes people reacting to negative experiences from a position of self-empathy and self-compassion because as human beings and to live normal life, we need to minimize our negative affects and maximize our positive affects, but actually we DO the reverse.

I don't know if this analogy will make sense but I always relate to it. In one of Spider Man movies, a dark material becomes attached to his body and he in return turns into guy that can harm others instead of helping them. In one of the most agonizing scenes, he was going through a death like experience to detach this matter from his body!! He succeeded but it was very painful. The inner critic is a powerful destructive tool we use against ourselves and we must go through painful process to detach from it.

[OliverB]

I don't self harm but since emotional disregulation is common in CPTSD, self harm is also common. My style is dissociative, it might protect from SH if it is strong enough... But it cause problems like looking DID-like.
Sorry, my head is dancing. Confused bough

[Amyjay]

I dissociate physical pain so I don't self harm. i just don't feel it.

I am pretty accomplished at emotional and mental self-torture though.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I dissociate physical pain so I don't self harm. i just don't feel it.

I am pretty accomplished at emotional and mental self-torture though.

Welcome to PC. Emotional and self torture is self harm. Take care of yourself.

[Thelost1ssoul]

I self-harm for different things too. Also because i deserve pain, to help slow down the flashbacks, when I'm completely emotionally and physically numb just to make sure I'm still alive, and when I dissociate, I don't even realize it then

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I think it changes each time... sometimes, I need the pain to feel real. It's like it reminds me I have a body. Sometimes I use sh to calm things down when every nerve in my body feels like it is in lvl 10 emergency mode. Sometimes I use it because I feel weak or I think I did something wrong and I deserve it (not true). The sh can do a lot of things for me, that part of why it's so hard to stop.

I can relate to this. Although I seem to have the tendency to SH under control at the moment, when I was engaging in it, there seemed to be no 1 reason, just an overehelming urge when I was struggling. Sometimes it felt quite intimate, just me alone with my body...not sure if that makes sense?