[Trace14]

Well the T and I finally had this talk. We had discussed it before but she was too focused on her session plan , but now we are done with that we have a little time to chat. I guess she could detect the dissociation doing tele sessions. Most of my dissociations are blank screens, sometimes with a trauma thought in the upper left corner, in a small thought bubble I guess. It's a very dull image, and very small compared to the blank screen.

Anyone else have an experience like this?

[reb569]

My dissociation is much different than that. I generally just realize that I am staring at one spot on the wall/ceiling or if I'm outside, a tree or something, while my brain either cycles through bad memories and or catastrophic thinking, or if it's a "good" dissociation, I end up thinking about nothing. I might loose track of time sometimes. But if I'm interrupted by the phone or someone talking to me, it breaks the dissociation. I often am confused for a few minutes, but can basically function like nothing ever happened within a few minutes. I've only had a couple that were hard to break out of.

I rarely get the good dissociation anymore. They used to be my coping mechanism, my way of De-stressing. Now dissociation seems to be a way for my mind to torture me.

I've started listening to some meditation music when I'm really stressed out to avoid the progression to dissociation, and it seems to be working for me.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by reb569

My dissociation is much different than that. I generally just realize that I am staring at one spot on the wall/ceiling or if I'm outside, a tree or something, while my brain either cycles through bad memories and or catastrophic thinking, or if it's a "good" dissociation, I end up thinking about nothing. I might loose track of time sometimes. But if I'm interrupted by the phone or someone talking to me, it breaks the dissociation. I often am confused for a few minutes, but can basically function like nothing ever happened within a few minutes. I've only had a couple that were hard to break out of.

I rarely get the good dissociation anymore. They used to be my coping mechanism, my way of De-stressing. Now dissociation seems to be a way for my mind to torture me.

I've started listening to some meditation music when I'm really stressed out to avoid the progression to dissociation, and it seems to be working for me.

Wow I wish it was just for a few minutes afterwards. I have like a dissociation hang over for a day or two. Right after I come back I still feel very fuzzy and just want to lay down and sleep.

[reb569]

Yeah, my dissociation, for the most part is pretty mild. I've only had a couple, last year, while my daughter was hospitalized the 2nd time and a few weeks after she was released where I had a hard time breaking out of it (they were long ones for me too, several hours), and those times, I went straight back into building anxiety. Now (and prior to those incidents) I can break out of them and understand what's going on around me, but I do tend to get depressed afterwards too. Listening to the meditation music has helped me a lot too. It relaxes me and also keeps me connected at the same time.

[MtnTime2896]

I'm not sure if I'm a good person to speak about dissociation because mine will generally be full and with another person in charge.

However, what you just described also happens to me. Though, rarely is it ever a blank canvas. It's like being on a rollercoaster and all of my senses are tuning into past trauma. Sometimes it's a single trauma, other times it becomes a series of them on rapid replay.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I'm not sure if I'm a good person to speak about dissociation because mine will generally be full and with another person in charge.

However, what you just described also happens to me. Though, rarely is it ever a blank canvas. It's like being on a rollercoaster and all of my senses are tuning into past trauma. Sometimes it's a single trauma, other times it becomes a series of them on rapid replay.

Hey ladybird Thanks for the response though. I expect everyone has a little different experience. Haven't really thought about the slide show in my head as dissociation, something to think about though.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Hey ladybird Thanks for the response though. I expect everyone has a little different experience. Haven't really thought about the slide show in my head as dissociation, something to think about though.

When the slideshow happens, I'm usually looking like I'm staring off in the distance and occasionally flinching (according to my fiance and friend). I can check out for minutes to hours. Honestly, I've also had switches take place during this time, but it doesn't always happen - which is why I don't just classify it as a DID thing - sometimes my name is called and I "check back in".