[SoupDragon]

I was on medication up until recently. It certainly did a great job at numbing me out. But had big memory problems and lack of motivation to do anything. I decided to try without it. A week later I spent a whole day crying, literally. In some ways, it was nice to actually feel after so long and I wasn't too bothered by it.

But this week that overwhelming anxiety is back, which takes me to dark places.

This morning, it was overwhelming and I took some beta blockers to try and control it.

I do have faith, that if I continue to work with my T, one day I will beat these symptoms. But I wonder if life is actually long enough to achieve that?

So my dilemma is whether I carry on as I am, mostly feeling overwhelmed and struggling each day, or whether I go back to the meds and just numb myself out forever.

I hate these feelings, but hate being like a zombie too.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I was on medication up until recently. It certainly did a great job at numbing me out. But had big memory problems and lack of motivation to do anything. I decided to try without it. A week later I spent a whole day crying, literally. In some ways, it was nice to actually feel after so long and I wasn't too bothered by it.

But this week that overwhelming anxiety is back, which takes me to dark places.

This morning, it was overwhelming and I took some beta blockers to try and control it.

I do have faith, that if I continue to work with my T, one day I will beat these symptoms. But I wonder if life is actually long enough to achieve that?

So my dilemma is whether I carry on as I am, mostly feeling overwhelmed and struggling each day, or whether I go back to the meds and just numb myself out forever.

I hate these feelings, but hate being like a zombie too.

I can so relate, sounds like my situation a little. I'm not very med compliant, then when I do go off of them I do go to places that I really would rather not, but I do anyway. Get back on your meds, or we are not going to make it through this, that I know for sure for myself.

[SoupDragon]

Thanks Trace. I get angry sometimes, for having to take the meds, for something that wasn't my fault. I guess it just is what it is.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Thanks Trace. I get angry sometimes, for having to take the meds, for something that wasn't my fault. I guess it just is what it is.

Oh I agree, like Triglycerides, both parents have high numbers with that and now so do I. Grrrrrrrrr. Take your meds, I took some of mine today and feel a little better. Been thinking about cutting though and I don't like going there.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I was on medication up until recently. It certainly did a great job at numbing me out. But had big memory problems and lack of motivation to do anything. I decided to try without it. A week later I spent a whole day crying, literally. In some ways, it was nice to actually feel after so long and I wasn't too bothered by it.

But this week that overwhelming anxiety is back, which takes me to dark places.

This morning, it was overwhelming and I took some beta blockers to try and control it.

I do have faith, that if I continue to work with my T, one day I will beat these symptoms. But I wonder if life is actually long enough to achieve that?

So my dilemma is whether I carry on as I am, mostly feeling overwhelmed and struggling each day, or whether I go back to the meds and just numb myself out forever.

I hate these feelings, but hate being like a zombie too.

ask your p doc to lower your dose

[NeedHaldol]

When I first got put on meds, I was in such a fog and exhaustion that I could barely do anything, much less stay awake.

It took about 2 weeks until it got better.

If you have the opportunity to take the time to let this pass, you will be all the better for it.

[SoupDragon]

Thank-you. Sticking with no meds at the moment. Wondering if the increase in thoughts, might just be a temporary thing while my body readjusts. Going to try and get an exercise routine going to see if that helps.

Maybe I'll give it a time limit and if it gets worse or no better over the next few weeks, then may go for a lower dose.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope whatever you do works out for you.

[SoupDragon]

Managed to get myself up early, did some work that I had been putting off, went to supermarket and have just spent some time trying to sort my garden out and it'seems still only midday

Time to think when in the garden. Trying to imagine what a "cure" would look like for me. Maybe I'll start another thread?