[Trace14]

What are your main stressors or triggers? Is there anything you can do to change them to not be so stressful or triggering?

One of mine is trust. And when someone breaks that trust I'm pretty much done with them. It just doesn't feel the same here in the forum anymore, it doesn't feel safe or secure and it's very hard to engage with new people.

[reb569]

Trust is definitely one of my big ones. Any male raising their voice or acting aggressively is another. Authoritarian type leadership, such as my current supervisor. Being treated differently because I'm a woman. Loud noises, bright lights too. They all tie back to my father and his abuse of my family, but have been supplemented by a life of bad luck, bad choices and sometimes bad supervisors.

I understand where you are coming from with the forum feeling different. I'm very cautious about commenting on posts now.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Trace14

What are your main stressors or triggers? Is there anything you can do to change them to not be so stressful or triggering?


One of mine is trust. And when someone breaks that trust I'm pretty much done with them. It just doesn't feel the same here in the forum anymore, it doesn't feel safe or secure and it's very hard to engage with new people.

What happened?

Trust was never an option for me from the start.

Stress is a trigger.

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by Trace14

What are your main stressors or triggers? Is there anything you can do to change them to not be so stressful or triggering?

One of mine is trust. And when someone breaks that trust I'm pretty much done with them. It just doesn't feel the same here in the forum anymore, it doesn't feel safe or secure and it's very hard to engage with new people.

I have oh so many stressors and triggers but one of my main ones is trust too.If someone lies to me it can really send me on a tailspin within a matter of minutes.

I was born and raised in a captive situation,everything I was told and taught about myself and the world was nothing but lies.As a child I knew they were lies but I had to accept them as truth,I had no other choice but to obey.So now when someone lies to me it really,really sets me off.

I have worked on this in therapy,learning to take a step back from that initial reaction,the surge of extreme feelings that cause me to react, and do alot of self talk to remain calm and in control of myself.The trigger is still always there but I am still learning new ways all the time.I have progressed with it,years ago I reacted violently and I don't anymore,but I still am not happy with my reactions.Maybe someday it will change even more.

And I understand what you say about not feeling safe or secure here but I can't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

I have oh so many stressors and triggers but one of my main ones is trust too.If someone lies to me it can really send me on a tailspin within a matter of minutes.

I was born and raised in a captive situation,everything I was told and taught about myself and the world was nothing but lies.As a child I knew they were lies but I had to accept them as truth,I had no other choice but to obey.So now when someone lies to me it really,really sets me off.

I have worked on this in therapy,learning to take a step back from that initial reaction,the surge of extreme feelings that cause me to react, and do alot of self talk to remain calm and in control of myself.The trigger is still always there but I am still learning new ways all the time.I have progressed with it,years ago I reacted violently and I don't anymore,but I still am not happy with my reactions.Maybe someday it will change even more.

And I understand what you say about not feeling safe or secure here but I can't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.

But it shows just how vulnerable you can be talking with people that you don't know. How people hurt others for their own benefit. That's true everywhere though, humanity has sunk to a new low, and the world is a dangerous place.

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by Trace14

But it shows just how vulnerable you can be talking with people that you don't know. How people hurt others for their own benefit. That's true everywhere though, humanity has sunk to a new low, and the world is a dangerous place.

Yeah,that's true,people can pretend to be anyone and anything they want to behind a screen.That's a pretty scary thought.

You're right,humanity has sunk to a new low and the world is a dangerous place.Some people say it's always been this way but we weren't aware that it was.I disagree with that,I think it's worse and will continue getting worse.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

Yeah,that's true,people can pretend to be anyone and anything they want to behind a screen.That's a pretty scary thought.

You're right,humanity has sunk to a new low and the world is a dangerous place.Some people say it's always been this way but we weren't aware that it was.I disagree with that,I think it's worse and will continue getting worse.

I agree. The respect for life is going away. Someone getting killed is like old news. It is scary.

Trust isn't that much of an issue for me anymore because I've grown to accept that all humans are liars and I always suspect hidden motives out of everybody that I meet anyways. I figure if somebody wants to be my friend than their words are pointless anyways; all that ever matter to me is people's actions.

What does trigger me is certain loud noises such as somebody banging on my door, honking a horn loudly, an infant screaming, or police sirens. Hearing these noises makes me agitated and sends me into survival mode.

Another thing that triggers me is people not giving me my space. If I'm alone trying to think or focus or calm myself down and somebody barges in and tries to talk to me I feel like getting physical with them.

A 3rd thing that I've only been learning about recently is seeing things become more of an inconvenience or struggle for the poor. Things such as increasing food prices, expensive late fees on Apt. rentals or overdraw fees on banks, harder time getting medical or mental health care, or jobs discriminating against somebody who has long gaps in their work history due to health or some other reason and needs a job to pay for their living expenses are all examples of things that make me angry. In fact, I have literally developed a burning hatred and malice towards those in power and I wish death upon them every day for this very reason but I won't get into that.

[MtnTime2896]

One of my biggest triggers is seeing any domestic violence. It truly does a number on my head. I saw some today and have since spent the rest of today trapped in unwanted memories. But, "if my armor breaks, I'll fuse it back together" because I have to. So that's what I've been doing this evening, trying to put myself back together.

Outside of domestic violence, there's touching certain parts of my anatomy (shoulder, thigh etc.), there's yelling, sunlight and the smell of whiskey. There are others but these are to name a few.

[SoupDragon]

Conflict
Shouting
The sea
Noise
Eye contact
Trust

[CalamityJane425]

Good Morning Trace14!
My trigger (one of them) is noise! yes. I am going crazy with all of the fireworks noise! Especially those M-80's they frighten me! I don't know if you've heard one but it sounds like 1 million mortars going off at once & the sound reverberates throughout the sky. I immediately get angry oh how I get angry. I actually screamed in a fit of rage without thinking. It scares me b/c I think its a gun fight or something. I get panicky. As of this writing I'm not sure what to do. I'm done for now, I want to get to my coffee.

[Open Eyes]

I hear you Trace, when one puts a lot of effort into caring for another person and that is disrespected it's hard to "just" get over that.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I hear you Trace, when one puts a lot of effort into caring for another person and that is disrespected it's hard to "just" get over that.

Even if that person apologizes and you accept it, it would be very hard to trust that person again. Or to put yourself out there to be hurt again. But some situations are harder than others especially if family is involved.

[SaharaSon]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane425

Good Morning Trace14!
My trigger (one of them) is noise! yes. I am going crazy with all of the fireworks noise! Especially those M-80's they frighten me! I don't know if you've heard one but it sounds like 1 million mortars going off at once & the sound reverberates throughout the sky. I immediately get angry oh how I get angry. I actually screamed in a fit of rage without thinking. It scares me b/c I think its a gun fight or something. I get panicky. As of this writing I'm not sure what to do. I'm done for now, I want to get to my coffee.

Jane, I am the same way. I have heard some extremely loud fireworks. What in the h*ll is going on? I've been in combat zones and this stuff sends me to a bad place. You are right, I swear it feels like a mortar or artillary round landed just outside my d*mn window. And I live out in the country, for the peace and quite.
There are times when it feels like some kind of war has come to me. I've got people hunting on my property firing rounds less than 50 yards from me while I am gardening. I got a clown behind me using his property closest to me as a firing range. He usually fires high caliber rounds, 40, 44 and 45. Loud as all fricken get out. My dogs run for cover when the shooting starts. I had an old senial gizzer Korean War Vet firing rounds of some sort, timing it to just when I went to check my mail at the end of my driveway. I swear there are times when my immediate neighborhood is more dangerous than Syria. Shalom.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SaharaSon

Jane, I am the same way. I have heard some extremely loud fireworks. What in the h*ll is going on? I've been in combat zones and this stuff sends me to a bad place. You are right, I swear it feels like a mortar or artillary round landed just outside my d*mn window. And I live out in the country, for the peace and quite.
There are times when it feels like some kind of war has come to me. I've got people hunting on my property firing rounds less than 50 yards from me while I am gardening. I got a clown behind me using his property closest to me as a firing range. He usually fires high caliber rounds, 40, 44 and 45. Loud as all fricken get out. My dogs run for cover when the shooting starts. I had an old senial gizzer Korean War Vet firing rounds of some sort, timing it to just when I went to check my mail at the end of my driveway. I swear there are times when my immediate neighborhood is more dangerous than Syria. Shalom.

Sorry all that is going on around you. Do they know what you've been through? I put ear plugs in and headphones till about midnight on July 4th.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane425

Good Morning Trace14!
My trigger (one of them) is noise! yes. I am going crazy with all of the fireworks noise! Especially those M-80's they frighten me! I don't know if you've heard one but it sounds like 1 million mortars going off at once & the sound reverberates throughout the sky. I immediately get angry oh how I get angry. I actually screamed in a fit of rage without thinking. It scares me b/c I think its a gun fight or something. I get panicky. As of this writing I'm not sure what to do. I'm done for now, I want to get to my coffee.

Yes they are big triggers. My T said to watch some fireworks Youtube videos to try to desensitize with it but I forgot to do it

[LostOnTheTrail]

Medical television programmes, or conversations about medical things.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Medical television programmes, or conversations about medical things.

That one is easy to understand why it could be

[Unrigged64072835]

Shouting really triggers me. I just freeze in terror.

Loud noises and people coming up behind me are triggers as well.

[Unrigged64072835]

Shouting really triggers me. I just freeze in terror.

Loud noises and people coming up behind me are triggers as well. The latter was really bad at my last job, since I was sharing a cubicle and my back was to the hallway.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Shouting really triggers me. I just freeze in terror.

Loud noises and people coming up behind me are triggers as well. The latter was really bad at my last job, since I was sharing a cubicle and my back was to the hallway.

I agree with the loud noises like the fire crackers, people arguing, and getting aggressive. I can't stand to sit with my back to the door either, but then again I don't want to be to far away in case I need to get out quickly.

[reb569]

My preferred location in any room is with my back to a corner where no one can come up behind me and I can see the whole room as well as the exit. Unfortunately, not easy to find in most cases.

[porcelainboy]

Mine include being in or too close to places of worship and sometimes my grandma's long prayers on holidays, certain sexual things and phrases (those trigger me in a different way than the rest), the phrase "don't tell anyone" or threats of punishment for telling someone about something, someone opening the door to my room without knocking or otherwise making me aware that they're there, whispers in my ear, making direct eye contact with someone for (or even worse, being forced to make eye contact), people touching me on my neck or anywhere on my legs or back, not being able to breathe, seeing little girls with their dads being friendly with each other, and many, many more.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by porcelainboy

Mine include being in or too close to places of worship and sometimes my grandma's long prayers on holidays, certain sexual things and phrases (those trigger me in a different way than the rest), the phrase "don't tell anyone" or threats of punishment for telling someone about something, someone opening the door to my room without knocking or otherwise making me aware that they're there, whispers in my ear, making direct eye contact with someone for (or even worse, being forced to make eye contact), people touching me on my neck or anywhere on my legs or back, not being able to breathe, seeing little girls with their dads being friendly with each other, and many, many more.

welcome to PC! and thanks for sharing