"Don't give up on the person you are becoming"?

Trace14 · Aug 26, 2017, 04:00 PM

I just saw this quote on FB, from the Kali Munro, Toronto Psychotherapist feed
It was pretty thought provoking for me. Anyone else have thoughts about it?

"Don't give up on the person you are becoming".
Posted by Unlimited happiness .com

My thoughts: What if the person you are becoming is not who you want to be? If the person you were before is who want to be, but then it's hard to remember what, or who, that person was. Was it the person you so miss, or was it the environment of happiness and well being? Hmmmmmm

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 26, 2017, 04:08 PM

Good post, Trace.

I can see both sides of this, even though the quote irks me for the very reasons you posted. 'What if the person you are becoming is not somebody you want to be?'

I think it's probably meant in the same spirit as the ones that talk about the light at the end of the tunnel....

Looking forward to others' views.

leomama · Aug 26, 2017, 04:10 PM

Sounds hokey but if it works for you go
For it. My motto is no pain no gain, if you think you're done push yourself just one more step. I'm a runner so that's how I approach life, and a single parent of a teen. Ain't got time for the soft stuff.

Trace14 · Aug 26, 2017, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Good post, Trace.

I can see both sides of this, even though the quote irks me for the very reasons you posted. 'What if the person you are becoming is not somebody you want to be?'

I think it's probably meant in the same spirit as the ones that talk about the light at the end of the tunnel....

Looking forward to others' views.

I think it fits more a person who is on the healing side, who has already crossed that threshold heading towards something better. For those of us who are still stuck in limbo , not really feeling the things are looking better thing, it's kind of hard to swallow or understand. Just my opinion though. Certainly got me to thinking about it though

TrailRunner14 · Aug 26, 2017, 10:51 PM

That quote sounds like my hearts cry right now.

Thank you!

Trace14 · Aug 26, 2017, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

That quote sounds like my hearts cry right now.

Thank you!

We have to make sure no healing stone is left unturned. We must turn them all over and see if there's anything that may benefit us there. Even the smallest bit of good is something that will hopefully add up to something bigger

SoupDragon · Aug 26, 2017, 11:56 PM

Maybe the person we were before made us vulnerable to CPTSD?

Maybe a zebra's longing it to be golden and glowing, but in order to better survive amongst lions, it has to develop stripes (you know I like my animal analogies

So maybe we have to have faith that the person we are becoming, is going to serve us better in life, help us move forward.

TrailRunner14 · Aug 27, 2017, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Maybe the person we were before made us vulnerable to CPTSD?

Maybe a zebra's longing it to be golden and glowing, but in order to better survive amongst lions, it has to develop stripes (you know I like my animal analogies

So maybe we have to have faith that the person we are becoming, is going to serve us better in life, help us move forward.

This strikes a curious question in me.

Did what happen to me make me who I am?

Or

Am who I was created to be, made me process what came and what I had to live through, make me who I am?

Don't know if that makes sense or not. I couldn't find wording for it.

Just a wonder question.

NeedHaldol · Aug 27, 2017, 08:08 AM

I believe that the person you are consists of 2 influences -

Environment (What happens to you)
Reaction (How you deal with your environment)

The quote, in my mind was about self acceptance and the idea that you are advancing to the future "you".

Somethings you can't change no matter how bad you want them to.

SoupDragon · Aug 27, 2017, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

This strikes a curious question in me.

Did what happen to me make me who I am?

Or

Am who I was created to be, made me process what came and what I had to live through, make me who I am?

Don't know if that makes sense or not. I couldn't find wording for it.

Just a wonder question.

Yes that makes absolute sense to me.

I think what happened to me has contributed to who I am. The negative stuff

but it also has created a level of sensitivity that has some positive aspects. I sometimes work with people who are suicidal and having such a deep understanding has been helpful in my work with them.

And yes, for me, I think I have always had a level of sensitivity, trust in others, which was badly betrayed. Maybe if I wasn't who I am, I wouldn't have felt this so deeply.

Trace14 · Aug 27, 2017, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Maybe the person we were before made us vulnerable to CPTSD?

Maybe a zebra's longing it to be golden and glowing, but in order to better survive amongst lions, it has to develop stripes (you know I like my animal analogies

So maybe we have to have faith that the person we are becoming, is going to serve us better in life, help us move forward.

If we see the person we were before was not who we would be happy to be again, then yes to recreate ourselves to a person we would like to be would be awesome. Wouldn't be wonderful to go back in time and create the person we think we would be happy to be? Would we know what that was really?

Like the Zebra, born with stripes, stripes to the skin, but would rather be golden and glowing when they have the most beautiful coat anyway.
Like people who have straight hair want curly hair, people with curly hair want straight hair. Does it really have anything to do with the hair though? Could it be that personality of the person with straight or curly hair that makes that hair style so attractive? Their achievements? Does the hair or fur really matter? Is it more about self acceptance? Maybe we can tweak somethings to make us better people, but that doesn't erase the past or memories, so it will be a constant monitoring of self until those behaviors become more naturally. No one is perfect, or are they?

Trace14 · Aug 27, 2017, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

This strikes a curious question in me.

Did what happen to me make me who I am?

Or

Am who I was created to be, made me process what came and what I had to live through, make me who I am?

Don't know if that makes sense or not. I couldn't find wording for it.

Just a wonder question.

Good pondering there. Makes one wonder if all the bad things in life are lessons to learn from, not lessons to define who you are. With a result being a wiser self, maybe to reach out for a destiny of helping others?
I will have to agree that if some things had not happened I would have probably not looked into CPTSD more, wouldn't have been here. Then I look at the good as to what has come out of this and I've learned so much, met so many wonderful people. So I know there are some good things that come out of bad situations, for me at least. Wish this would have come sooner but my mantra is "All things, in their proper time"

Trace14 · Aug 27, 2017, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedHaldol

I believe that the person you are consists of 2 influences -

Environment (What happens to you)
Reaction (How you deal with your environment)

The quote, in my mind was about self acceptance and the idea that you are advancing to the future "you".

Somethings you can't change no matter how bad you want them to.

Exactly!!!!! Good post.

Trace14 · Aug 27, 2017, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes that makes absolute sense to me.

I think what happened to me has contributed to who I am. The negative stuff

but it also has created a level of sensitivity that has some positive aspects. I sometimes work with people who are suicidal and having such a deep understanding has been helpful in my work with them.

And yes, for me, I think I have always had a level of sensitivity, trust in others, which was badly betrayed. Maybe if I wasn't who I am, I wouldn't have felt this so deeply.

Awesome, you really put some thought into that, looked deeper within. I think maybe that was a "stuck point" for me. Just processing the surface emotions/feelings/memories and not going deeper to the ones that were better and as a counterbalance. People are so complicated

Fuzzybear · Sep 04, 2017, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Yes that makes absolute sense to me.

I think what happened to me has contributed to who I am. The negative stuff

but it also has created a level of sensitivity that has some positive aspects. I sometimes work with people who are suicidal and having such a deep understanding has been helpful in my work with them.

And yes, for me, I think I have always had a level of sensitivity, trust in others, which was badly betrayed. Maybe if I wasn't who I am, I wouldn't have felt this so deeply.

(((((( Soup )))))))

I'm trying not to give up on me.

I told one friend one of my traumas. This friend hasn't betrayed my trust.

But I'm still scared

SoupDragon · Sep 04, 2017, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

(((((( Soup )))))))

I'm trying not to give up on me.

I told one friend one of my traumas. This friend hasn't betrayed my trust.

But I'm still scared

Well done fuzzy. I'm glad you were able to trust enough, to share that with your friend.

TrailRunner14 · Sep 04, 2017, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

(((((( Soup )))))))

I'm trying not to give up on me.

I told one friend one of my traumas. This friend hasn't betrayed my trust.

But I'm still scared

(((Fuzzybear)))

You are brave and you are strong to share your feelings. It makes my heart smile that you have a trusted friend.

Don't be scared. There is so much freedom that comes with sharing hurts with trusted ones.

You are brave!! You are strong!!

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