How much do you know about your parents?

Did they have a good childhood? Were they abused or neglected? Veterans?
Concentration camp survivors?

I really don't know that much about mine. My mom always painted such a simple happy life when she was a child, when she she explained it to young me. I wonder if that story is the same now since I'm an adult? Her dad was a bad alcoholic, couldn't have been all that perfect.

I know a lot about my parents. I know that my both grandmothers messed up both parents and they messed me up too. I wish I knew more about why my parents behaved the way they did (they are both deceased), but my grandmothers' dysfunction was definitely passed on.

I have learned a lot. Mother and her sister were
I am just learning to put these pieces together this week. I am learning to say them together. I am trying to say it and name it and hold it together.

Wow, I'm so sorry. Hope the cycle stops with you. Thanks for responding back to so many of my questions. They just never stop
You did well to speak this and write it. Shows great strength.

My mother's father was a POW for 5 years. She grew up in an area where she witnessed WW2 bombs. My father's mother, I think, had OCD from his description of things. He was isolated as a child because of it.

Knowing these things, put some of my childhood into context.

I agree. Doesn't make it right, but at least you can see there is an origin to the cycle. Can't imagine living in those WWII times.

My father was the oldest boy in a family of 6 (4 girls, two boys). One of his sisters was older. They grew up on a farm.



My Mom had one sister and grew up in a strict catholic family. Her childhood was pretty good, no history of abuse. Her father passed away when she was 14. Went to Ladycliff college (catholic college), then taught in a one-room-school house for 1 year, before becoming a bank teller. She then met and married my father who started abusing her about 1 year after they were married. Just about the time my oldest sister was born.

Sounds like some very hard lives they lead, very sorry for that.

My mother was sexually abused by her stepfather. I don't know anything much about my father. He left before I was born.

There seems to be so much abuse to our parents. It's easy to see where they may have thought that was a normal way of life and passed it on to their children, spouses, family members, friends , co -workers. Hoping this knowledge will stop the cycle. Though is some areas it's still sadly the norm.

My parents kept a few significant things from me until I was in my 20s. I guess they wanted me to believe everything was happy and there were no problems. It didn't make me happy. My childhood was extremely confusing because no one explained why certain things were happening. I could only believe it was normal and I was not.

I think that's the same story a lot of us feel. So sorry you had to feel that way and hopefully now you know it wasn't you

I've known both parents and both sets of grandparents very well. It's been helpful in understanding things.



WC

None of my parent reported chronic abuse beyond occasional physical punishment (which I don't think it is right, anyway). My grandfather (mother's father) sometimes drank but he wasn't an alcoholic. Probably both suffered from emotional neglect. They claimed to love their parent and were proud of how they were educated.

I preferred to be with my father's parents rather that being with him.

My mother hated me for some reason. She knew what she did was too extreme and wrong so she tried to hide what she did to me.

I don't find an explanation of their abusive behavior towards me, I just could understand emotional detachment or neglect.

I don't much about either of my parent's background or childhood. My dad is not very close with his family and so I'm not close to them either and outside of the loop. He had 3 siblings and older sister and a younger brother and sister. All I know is that my dad has anger problems (they are a lot milder now bc he's 70 now), he was abusive to his partners (mostly verbally and emotionally but sometimes physically too), and he cheats a lot. He' super disillusioned and can't take responsibility for ***** without angrily pointing the blame on someone else *shrugs*

My mom is very tight lipped about stuff in general and the youngest of 4 siblings. If I do hear anything that did happen it's from my aunts and it's spoken in passing like it's "no big deal" which is freaking bizarre. My mom is super insecure about how she looks bc she was teased for having dark skin when she was little and she internalized it and still holds it with her even though she's 58. She has anxiety and deals with depression and can be super manipulative and spiteful at times.

Me and her have a unhealthy codependent relationship and she is the source of most of my neurosis (CEN, C-PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociation).

And on top of all the that, I had to learn from the estranged relationship I have with my father that I was adopted a little after birth and my mom hadn't planned on telling me so there's a whole other biological aspect there . . .

Wow, that's a lot to deal with. Hope you have a good therapist helping you work through this. CPTSD is like a big puzzle, and you keep finding pieces of it that you didn't even know existed and now try to find where they fit into the picture. You seem to be a very smart and open minded person who can see things without attaching too much to it. But you process it. Best wishes with this journey and we are always here if you want to chat. Thanks for sharing.

My parents kept some massive secrets from me until I was 20. I always thought everything was my fault and it was very confusing. Once they had told me, I was on my own, “off their hands” and had to process all the bs and confusion alone

I know barely anything about mine.
never met my father, and when I have asked about him I'm usually told to shut up about it or it's not important

once I was told that I probably don't want to meet him (however it's still a sort of lifelong goal to track him down), almost like a longing- a need to know who he is.

the only thing I do know about fathers is that me and my sister have diffrent fathers- and I have met my sister's father, very abusive man, who does not want any involvement in her life.

all I know about my mother is that she grew up living above a shop.

her mother worked in the shop, I think and often she went down their to help out

I seem to remember bits of it, small space with stairs leading upwards (which i'm guessing led to the living space)