[anxiety247]

This one friend is really getting on my last nerve. We were talking about the Harvey Weinstein thing and how he went into a weekend treatment place. I commented back a weekend isn't enough time to rehabilitate from something like that. My friend let loose and said people like him are born with reject stamped on their head....she went on to explain there is no healing or getting well from mental conditions...healing is surgery and removing whatever is ailing you. She said if you are born schizophrenic, depressed, etc you basically are stamped with a big R for reject on your head. She told me I can keep going to therapy but I never will get better or heal. I so badly wanted to say something back to her but she is the type of person you can not argue with because she is always right. People with mental illness are not rejects and did not ask to have this happen to them. She at this point is the only friend left in my life and she crossed major lines with all that. I have distanced myself from her because I cant take the **** the falls from her mouth. She triggers me badly and seriously reminds me of my mother in so many ways. My T said being my mom has passed maybe through this friend is how I might heal. I get her point but I cant for my own sanity. Really hurts through the things she has said. It takes all my mental power to stop my head running with what she said and reinforce it with I am not a reject etc...etc...

It is hard talking to this friend other times too as she is always yelling at her GF saying she is stupid, jump through hoops type stuff and keeps her isolated. Her girlfriend has no personality of her own she pleases what my friend wants /expects. I want to say so badly to the girlfriend RUN get the hell out.

I have some serious things to consider. The friendship is def not worth it when it causes me pain like this. Sucks we have known each other for 15 yrs. I always thought she would soften up and change her ways but she hasnt

[pegasus]

Wow! That is very triggering. Not sure how keeping this friend would help you heal? Exposure therapy? Please take care of you, you don't need to be treated like that anymore.

[Open Eyes]

If you never get anything positive from this friend then it's time for you to step away from her and stop wasting your time and it doesn't matter how many years you have known her either.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by anxiety247

This one friend is really getting on my last nerve. We were talking about the Harvey Weinstein thing and how he went into a weekend treatment place. I commented back a weekend isn't enough time to rehabilitate from something like that. My friend let loose and said people like him are born with reject stamped on their head....she went on to explain there is no healing or getting well from mental conditions...healing is surgery and removing whatever is ailing you. She said if you are born schizophrenic, depressed, etc you basically are stamped with a big R for reject on your head. She told me I can keep going to therapy but I never will get better or heal. I so badly wanted to say something back to her but she is the type of person you can not argue with because she is always right. People with mental illness are not rejects and did not ask to have this happen to them. She at this point is the only friend left in my life and she crossed major lines with all that. I have distanced myself from her because I cant take the **** the falls from her mouth. She triggers me badly and seriously reminds me of my mother in so many ways. My T said being my mom has passed maybe through this friend is how I might heal. I get her point but I cant for my own sanity. Really hurts through the things she has said. It takes all my mental power to stop my head running with what she said and reinforce it with I am not a reject etc...etc...

It is hard talking to this friend other times too as she is always yelling at her GF saying she is stupid, jump through hoops type stuff and keeps her isolated. Her girlfriend has no personality of her own she pleases what my friend wants /expects. I want to say so badly to the girlfriend RUN get the hell out.

I have some serious things to consider. The friendship is def not worth it when it causes me pain like this. Sucks we have known each other for 15 yrs. I always thought she would soften up and change her ways but she hasnt

Ooo this is a hard situation. Sadly if people have that type of personality when they are young, it only gets worse as they age. You've been given some good options here. Have you talked to your friend about what bothers you? I would try that before ignoring her. She will want to know what's going on, so will have to explain it to eventually. If you have told her how this behavior bothers you and she's not willing compromise , then yes it's time to get her out of your life and find friends that will be supportive.

[anxiety247]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Ooo this is a hard situation. Sadly if people have that type of personality when they are young, it only gets worse as they age. You've been given some good options here. Have you talked to your friend about what bothers you? I would try that before ignoring her. She will want to know what's going on, so will have to explain it to eventually. If you have told her how this behavior bothers you and she's not willing compromise , then yes it's time to get her out of your life and find friends that will be supportive.

I have tried talking to her when she says messed up things. She shuts me down quickly. I'm wrong she is right type stuff. You can't have a healthy friendship with stuff like this not to mention you have to avoid many conversation topics in fear that will cause a fight. I'm walking on egg shells....She is not the supportive type at all she frowns on it like its a weakness. I think its time to just go my way she won't change and she won't hinder me changing for the good and to be done with abuse of who ever it is...still sucks

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by anxiety247

I have tried talking to her when she says messed up things. She shuts me down quickly. I'm wrong she is right type stuff. You can't have a healthy friendship with stuff like this not to mention you have to avoid many conversation topics in fear that will cause a fight. I'm walking on egg shells....She is not the supportive type at all she frowns on it like its a weakness. I think its time to just go my way she won't change and she won't hinder me changing for the good and to be done with abuse of who ever it is...still sucks

I agree it sucks having to let go of a friend. But when that relationship is doing more harm than good, you have to look out for yourself. Who knows maybe she will miss the friendship enough to change or at least compromise. I feel sure you know what you need to do here and we all support you.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by anxiety247

I have tried talking to her when she says messed up things. She shuts me down quickly. I'm wrong she is right type stuff. You can't have a healthy friendship with stuff like this not to mention you have to avoid many conversation topics in fear that will cause a fight. I'm walking on egg shells....She is not the supportive type at all she frowns on it like its a weakness. I think its time to just go my way she won't change and she won't hinder me changing for the good and to be done with abuse of who ever it is...still sucks

I agree with Trace, it sounds like you need to let this one go .. I understand, it does suck

[reb569]

I agree. Let her go. She seems like a bully and an abuser. I know from experience, no friends are better than a toxic friend.

Hugs out to you!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by reb569

I agree. Let her go. She seems like a bully and an abuser. I know from experience, no friends are better than a toxic friend.

Hugs out to you!

I agree I’m sending hugs

[avlady]

i say i agree with everyone on getting away from this toxic person, the sooner the better for you