[HD7970GHZ]

Hello community,

I have recently been re-traumatized and I have had tremendous difficulty NOT thinking about the trauma. I have intrusive thoughts and trauma memories and associated flashbacks and somatic physiological symptoms. I cannot stop ruminating. It gets so bad that I want to jump out of my body. Because I cannot escape, I get frustrated and angry. Then I go into a downward spiral of suicidal ideation. Eventually I break down and the cycle repeats.

How can I shut this off?!

Most people say to get busy and distract; that I am spending too much time doing nothing. Some people think it is a choice to think about the trauma or not. While this may be true for some, this is certainly not the case for me.

Unfortunately, no matter what I do I cannot stop thinking about my trauma. Even the most engaging of activities isn't enough to shut my brain off.

I am constantly in a state of fight / flight mode. It does not shut off. I have moments where it goes away but those moments are fleeting and I cannot identify the cause.

Anyone else relate to this?

If so, how do you manage to shut off these parts of your brain?!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[LostOnTheTrail]

I haven't yet found a solution, but I know the feelings you describe. Hopefully others will be able to chime in with more helpful advice.

[Skeezyks]

I struggle with a lot of disturbing thoughts. Personally I don't believe it is possible to shut these off. And everything I have read (which admittedly isn't a ton, but still...) pretty-much supports this notion. All trying to block intrusive thoughts does is to make them keep coming back stronger & more frequently. Here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of how to deal with rumination. Perhaps some of the information in these articles will be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-mind...or-rumination/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/2...sive-thoughts/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/8-tips...op-ruminating/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-re...uce-the-cycle/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-ru...mes-a-problem/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-ru...d-how-to-stop/

In my case, however, the technique I find most beneficial is one that is referred to as "compassionate abiding". Here's a link to a description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit...

[TrailRunner14]

I get overwhelmed with thoughts and images and it is a really hard thing to work through.

My journal helps me a lot. I journal unedited, meaning I just write what comes to me. The thoughts that I’m having and describe the images that are coming to me. Sometimes that helps me.

I also will write down what’s coming to me on a card, unedited, and put it in an envelope until I meet with my counselor again. I guess this helps me to mentally put it in timeout until I can deal with it.

They don’t work for me every time but that’s what I’ve found that works best for me.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( hugs ))))))))

[KYWoman]

HD, I feel your pain daily. I wish I knew where to find the magic to stop the involuntary, recurring, invasiveness of traumatic memories, thoughts, flashbacks. I don't want to remember any of this and I successfully kept most of it locked away in my unconsciousness for decades.

I hate having to re-experience trauma that I'd be better off forgetting permanently. I wish it was a "CHOICE", then I could control it. Since I joined this site, I have discovered that no matter your worst moment or day, there is ALWAYS some member on here who has been in your shoes. Beats hearing "you just need to stop thinking about that stuff", etc. Might not cure ya, but I know when I read posts from others who could be writing MY thoughts, emotions it does make me feel better knowing that there are members here who understand exactly how you feel in a moment of crisis. I hope you are having better days!!! I know I am looking forward to better days myself.

[Marylin]

Try getting the thoughts out of your head and bring them into your body as feelings,feel them and they will either dissolve for a while and resurface at another time or heal and that will be one of your traumas gone.Ruminating thought are due to all your energy being focused in your head.

To come into the body lie down and focus energy on each part of your body sequentially,start with your feet,wriggle your toes,then tense each foot and release and work up through the legs arms shoulders,chest,stomach,groin etc tensing each part and release.

Ask yourself what are the emotions behind these thoughts?Then try to locate the emotions in each part of the body fear in the stomach,love in the heart,pain in the solar plexus and feel it allow it to be there until it dissipates,don't shut it down or run away from it.Your mind will have calmed down and be empty of thought by now,just do this and you may be able to let go of some of the trauma.Repeat this exercise every time you are top heavy and need to empty your mind.

[NUBIFER]

Not being able to shut it off is the worst! Even after all the therapy and progress, to be basically attacked by our own thoughts, emotions etc. just messes with us! I find myself getting defensive and angry sometimes at work when my boss or a client or whoever is (or seems to be) unreasonable or says something in a certain tone . . . it brings back the emotions associated with my trauma! Then it's the beating myself up for reacting the way I did, embarrassment, worry & all that mess. Next comes the extreme reaction within that sets me back erasing all the progress I've made.

One thing that helps me is to blast music, usually some really angry loud stuff (like Sevendust, Tool, Def Tones) and just scream along! For some reason that gets it out of my system and sometimes just turns it all off for awhile. Almost like flushing out the negative and re-booting my brain. I dunno why that works for me but it does.

Hugs to you all!

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you for everyone's input! Needless to say I am still having trouble with intrusive memories, albeit, they aren't as bad as they were three months ago right after my retraumatization!

I have been getting active. I got back into woodwork, FORCED myself to take up a creative task of some kind. I also started playing video games again, sinking hours into video games got my mind onto something else - didn't matter what else - JUST SOMETHING ELSE. I am trying to rewire my brain to work in ways that benefit a healthy and productive lifestyle. Hoping I can do this more and more.

The physical elements of healing I have also been trying more and more. I am running a few times a week, trying to stretch a couple times a week, eat well, etc.

I am waking up almost every-night in panic and anxiety. My body is on full alert when I wake up and I cannot shut it off.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[yakmom]

I wish I knew also. Sick and tired of it disrupting my life.