It should not be too long now.

I suffer from very bad CPTSD and have dozens of episodes daily from all the abuse that I've suffered over the years from parents and especially co-workers and also socially.

Four years ago, I had quadruple bypass surgery because all of the inflammation from the CPTSD and other factors caused numerous heart blockages. Still, I continued to have problems as I could not tolerate statins and also developed issues from trying to eat too healthfully (oxalate issues which, like my heart disease, is also hereditary).

Recently, I started having angina and shortness of breath. Two weeks ago, I went in for a procedure to have a stent inserted - there is a 60% blockage in a blood vessel in my heart. Unfortunately, they could not insert the stent because the blood vessel was too narrow.

It seems that my abusers - the mean sociopaths - have won. There is nothing that doctors can do short of another heart operation which I do not want. The inflammation caused by my CPTSD will only make the blockage worse. I do not know how much time I have left but hope it will be short as living with this mental illness has been terrible. I guess it is just as well as I have been very unhappy for a long time. I am looking forward to this physical and mental suffering to be finally over.

Best wishes...