[Fuzzybear]

Bad memories replaying in our head

Sometimes this method might help

GIGO

It stands for

GARBAGE in

GARBAGE out

It can be quite powerful if the thoughts are untrue, and if some of them are programmed into someone by abusive individuals. What these individuals spout is simply garbage and venom (all abusers spout garbage and venom).. It can be hard at times for the ''emotional self'' (or whatever it is called) to feel this. The logical brain knows it... but to feel it inside is not always so easy.

[Yaowen]

Dear Fuzzybear,

That sounds like a really good technique. I will try it.

Two techniques that help me a lot with recurring bad memories are these. If the experience is not too intense, I just say this mantra over and over again: "Could have been worse, but wasn't worse, thank goodness." This sort of gently helps me switch from . . . "my past could have been better but wasn't better" mode which engenders in me anger and sadness . . . to the mode . . . "could have been worse, but wasn't worse, thank goodness" which engenders happier feelings in me and peace.

If a recurring memory is really intense and the first technique doesn't help, I try this one: I just repeat over and over in my head the following words: "I love you Yaowen." This has a powerful effect on me and brings calm back into my life.

These techniques help me a lot. I am glad you found a technique that helps you! I plan to try it out on myself next time I have recurring bad memories. Thank you so very much for sharing it with all of us here. Anything that helps is most welcome!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Bad memories replaying in our head

Sometimes this method might help

GIGO

It stands for

GARBAGE in

GARBAGE out

It can be quite powerful if the thoughts are untrue, and if some of them are programmed into someone by abusive individuals. What these individuals spout is simply garbage and venom (all abusers spout garbage and venom).. It can be hard at times for the ''emotional self'' (or whatever it is called) to feel this. The logical brain knows it... but to feel it inside is not always so easy.

I really appreciate you sharing this

I see what you mean now! It's interesting for me to think of that way. This is a sort re-labelling of the thing itself, a denigrating of the messages that were sent (and received).

Thank you

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Yaowen

Dear Fuzzybear,

That sounds like a really good technique. I will try it.

Two techniques that help me a lot with recurring bad memories are these. If the experience is not too intense, I just say this mantra over and over again: "Could have been worse, but wasn't worse, thank goodness." This sort of gently helps me switch from . . . "my past could have been better but wasn't better" mode which engenders in me anger and sadness . . . to the mode . . . "could have been worse, but wasn't worse, thank goodness" which engenders happier feelings in me and peace.

If a recurring memory is really intense and the first technique doesn't help, I try this one: I just repeat over and over in my head the following words: "I love you Yaowen." This has a powerful effect on me and brings calm back into my life.

These techniques help me a lot. I am glad you found a technique that helps you! I plan to try it out on myself next time I have recurring bad memories. Thank you so very much for sharing it with all of us here. Anything that helps is most welcome!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

Also some great ideas here, thanks Yaowen

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Not sure I have any similar tips to offer. I tend to go from fine to terrible quite quickly, and it only happens at work (when I'm triggered by being told off, criticised, or bullied by a superior).

I find it incredibly difficult to stay on my own side, in that situation.

I'll think hard about what you've both said, thank you Fuzzy and Yaowen

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I really appreciate you sharing this

I see what you mean now! It's interesting for me to think of that way. This is a sort re-labelling of the thing itself, a denigrating of the messages that were sent (and received).

Thank you

I think that's true, the abusers attempted to denigrate our being

The messages they gave us were false, they were lies (however those messages were delivered, whatever type of abuse they dished out

much love

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Also some great ideas here, thanks Yaowen

Thanks Yaowen

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Not sure I have any similar tips to offer. I tend to go from fine to terrible quite quickly, and it only happens at work (when I'm triggered by being told off, criticised, or bullied by a superior).

I find it incredibly difficult to stay on my own side, in that situation.

I'll think hard about what you've both said, thank you Fuzzy and Yaowen

I understand dear Purple, being told off, bullied and/or criticised by ''higher ups'' is a trigger for sure (the thing is, they are not as superior as they think they are...(or at all if they are bullies) or if they are, its in ''status'' only, which is quite meaningless in the deeper scheme of things. Not that that helps me much either, I find it very hard to stay on my side in those situations too.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I understand dear Purple, being told off, bullied and/or criticised by ''higher ups'' is a trigger for sure (the thing is, they are not as superior as they think they are...(or at all if they are bullies) or if they are, its in ''status'' only, which is quite meaningless in the deeper scheme of things. Not that that helps me much either, I find it very hard to stay on my side in those situations too.

Thank you

You're right. It is meaningless in the deeper scheme of things and these people aren't really 'superior'

I've done a lot of thinking over the years about this classic CPTSD symptom of abandoning oneself when under stress. It's really one of the worst feelings in the world. Someone attacks or humiliates me, and I take their side! I agree with them, whole-heartedly! My only thoughts (sweating, and in a blind panic by now) are about how I can make them like or respect me again!

That's what I 'am'.

That's how my body and mind will always want to react!

This leads to a great, deep and awful shame