[racee]

blissfull is what it was the first day i trully felt my meds working and they are granted i mean how are they to know all these little unexpected triggers. But this morning for once a sunny 54 degrees over the water and yes even though i planned on not working today that's why i doubled up yesterday (this whole month i haven't beeen answering my phone i guess i'm making up for it now) i had a voicemail this morining and contemplated, how did i contemplate, i made chocolate chip cookies and thought about it! after eating 2 or 3 or 10 i returned the call. So now i have a lil extra money in my pocket, wich is always good, pays the bills. So see my day was going well and still is, than my computer got the best of me...it's old and for christmas me and my partner decided to get ourselves a new one but until then it freezes and takes a long time to load and what happens i choose to slam things stomp around cuss than belittle myself and if only and i should have and stupid this and that and if only you and can't do anything right and so on. nothing broke this time, nothing happend to me see there are little improvement and it was over in less than a minute and i even realized what i did and said and am talking about it. so.......somethings there. over it all now as always although i've been pretty much in a manic state since yesterday so i feel like it's gonna be in all nighter again all for the better got recipe searches and christmas shopping ideas to look at and typing to do, i'm one of those that has 5 browsers up at once goin back and forth by the way off topic but did anyone see that thanksgiving day turkey cake on chow.com?...worth checking out.

[Perna]

I'm glad your meds are starting to work and you seem to get over disappointment faster.

Have you ever tried exaggerating your actions and laughing at them? I was trying to imagine you "stomping around" and it reminded me of a kid and how they can get pretty extreme at times and that makes them look a little funny? If you can catch yourself stomping, change it to see how high you can get your knees up, LOL. Can you touch your chin with you knee when you're standing? A little distraction at the right time can keep the self-belittling at bay and that is always good, helps protect what self-esteem is there.