[bluemonkey2]

Hi there. Oh it's been some day.

Backstory: Out of work for close to two years. Isolated because of my location.

The issue: My normal distractions aren't working (volunteering, working out) My faith is waining. Can't stomach writing in the gratitude journal anymore. My negative thoughts are taking over. My confidence and my spirit have been chipped away to rubble. My fuse is short and my tears plentiful. I feel old and that my life is passing me by. If the stress doesn't kill me this lonliness will. If an employer at this point asked why they should hire me my answer would be I don't know...because I don't know anymore. I'm out of ideas. My friends have their lives and I'm resentful..which i'm embarrassed to admit. I am unable to see even the slightest glimmer of light at the end of this seemingly never ending tunnel. I'm withdrawing. I feel like a failure. I look back and berrate myself for things I can't change. Now the holidays...the weight is heavy. I'm just skating...not sure how long until the ice cracks. So there it is.

[Lilleth]

I dont have any words of comfort that could help and thats how I often feel. I have a job and to be honest I dread each day I waken and have to leave the house to work yet if I was to lose my job it would be worse as I spent years not being able to find work and when I did I couldn't keep it up due to depression. I have started theraphy and dont know where it would lead. Please know that you are not alone if only we had the answer that would help us to heal and make our lives more bareable.

[Leed]

Hi ~ Bless your heart. We aren't in a "recession" ~ we're in a full-blown depression!! There are thousands like you with no jobs because our government saw fit to ship jobs overseas. And our government feeds people overseas, but does very little for our OWN people who are struggling. Boy this makes me angry.

Unfortunately I'm disabled ~ I'd much rather be working, but if I wasn't disabled, I'd probably be in the same boat as you. I was an optician for years, and by now they would have thought I was "too old" for that and would have found a reason to "lay me off."

Too bad we don't live next to each other - I'm in a tiny village in the boondocks ~ we could have coffee. I live alone so I know about the loneliness. Just know that I WILL be saying prayers that you find a job SOON! it surely can't hurt. Take care of yourself, and keep us posted. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[geez]

(((bluemonkey2))) I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. My husband was layed off in May of this year and hasn't been able to get fulltime work but has been able to get some projects done for people so that has helped up and we are floating right now. It's scary times with young kids. There are so many people out there like us.

I know you've probably exhausted all possibilities at this point but is there any chance you can relocate?? - I'm not sure what field of work you are in but perhaps there's a family member that can help you out with relocating somewhere else where there is work?

I hope you don't take my suggestion as simple solution. i'm coming from a good place and hate to see people hurting.

Wishing you comfort.

[madisgram]

welcome to pc, bluemonkey. i am glad u found us! i can certainly relate to your feelings. do you see a therapist? i know it has helped with my depression. also where you live is there the opportunity to babysit, clean homes etc? more info would help us. don't know how remote you are.
meanwhile keep posting, it helps and you'll get feedback and good ideas i hope.
as for your faith, somtimes it's about all we have to get thru something. do you tell your higher power what you need? it might help.

[hugs46]

Honey,
Open your bible and start reading and praying. I also recommend Joel Osteen's book, "It's Your Time". God Bless You. You can get through this.

[boodles]

Your words sound exactly the way I feel. I get some relief by going to group DBT class/therapy once a week. There are others there who are proof than one can have troubles and survive. Hugs to you - and P.S. why should someone hire you? I am sure there are many reasons, but one is that your posting was so eloquent. You write very well...that's not something that everyone is able to do.

[dontwanttofeel]

Originally Posted by bluemonkey2

Hi there. Oh it's been some day.

Backstory: Out of work for close to two years. Isolated because of my location.

The issue: My normal distractions aren't working (volunteering, working out) My faith is waining. Can't stomach writing in the gratitude journal anymore. My negative thoughts are taking over. My confidence and my spirit have been chipped away to rubble. My fuse is short and my tears plentiful. I feel old and that my life is passing me by. If the stress doesn't kill me this lonliness will. If an employer at this point asked why they should hire me my answer would be I don't know...because I don't know anymore. I'm out of ideas. My friends have their lives and I'm resentful..which i'm embarrassed to admit. I am unable to see even the slightest glimmer of light at the end of this seemingly never ending tunnel. I'm withdrawing. I feel like a failure. I look back and berrate myself for things I can't change. Now the holidays...the weight is heavy. I'm just skating...not sure how long until the ice cracks. So there it is.

Wat to say? Wow...don't know how old u are...im 50, young at heart..maybe that's ur prob, herhaps its mine as well! I would like to chat w/u hopelesss, can we help eachother

[anjelmarie]

Originally Posted by bluemonkey2

Hi there. Oh it's been some day.

Backstory: Out of work for close to two years. Isolated because of my location.

The issue: My normal distractions aren't working (volunteering, working out) My faith is waining. Can't stomach writing in the gratitude journal anymore. My negative thoughts are taking over. My confidence and my spirit have been chipped away to rubble. My fuse is short and my tears plentiful. I feel old and that my life is passing me by. If the stress doesn't kill me this lonliness will. If an employer at this point asked why they should hire me my answer would be I don't know...because I don't know anymore. I'm out of ideas. My friends have their lives and I'm resentful..which i'm embarrassed to admit. I am unable to see even the slightest glimmer of light at the end of this seemingly never ending tunnel. I'm withdrawing. I feel like a failure. I look back and berrate myself for things I can't change. Now the holidays...the weight is heavy. I'm just skating...not sure how long until the ice cracks. So there it is.

Sorry your feeling down and sorry i have no advice for you. You see, your post could have been written by me. I am lonely and negative and feel resentful of my friends, family as well, plus i'm angry at myself and life in general. I'm struggling daily just to get through. So sorry we have to be feeling this way. All i can do is hope and pray things get better for us both and all those in the same boat.

[trixielou]

geez this is exactly how i feel i dont remember feeling this low & hopeless ever. also just feel like im losing my mind i see other people & its like they just live life of course one never knows whats goin thru anybodys head but i would like to know how that would feel just one time to feel mentally & physically normal i work out also but that doesnt seem to be lifting the fog i used to get so into reading the Bible but right now it just seems like words on a page (sorry God) this is so dunno cant describe it

[trixielou]

and its true all of our jobs are overseas america has cut its own throat working class is the bread & butter middle america has no jobs no money after bills so there ya go whats left to say not everyone including me likes school or even wants to go to college for a stupid job but oh well tough **** all of our manual labor jobs are gone we dont take care of people here its true wow i better stop here before i go writing an eminem rant

How are you doing, bluemonkey2?