Oh dear Jelousy

Ugh, jealous. My cousins just got ANOTHER "awesome" cell phone for no reason (it's not even christmas yet goodness). I get nothing, I never really get anything.. I don't know why I feel jealous though.. I mean I don't really ask for anything material, material things don't make my life any better. I do have my own cell phone, you know those "old" flip phones without the keyboard or the touch screen display. I don't use it. Ever. I got it last x-mas and maybe I used it 5 times in the whole year.. Texting and calling people aren't really my thing.

So then why am I jealous?

It's just hard to see other people get stuff even if it's not something we really want. It's easier than being thankful for what we have. Most people deal with it. I know I do. That's why they have the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence". You are not alone in that one.

I used to view my cousins in a very negative light. I mean, they both once attacked me through msn because I didn't say hi to them at our grandfather's BBQ. They're always getting new expensive things, going on trips to New York and Montreal for birthdays. They're also closer to the nicer half of my family than I am.. and my Aunt (not their mother) seems to always forget I exist while those two are always like right there as number one neices in the world.

I'm sorry that's your family dynamics. That's really hard and hurtful. My cousin is the favorite grand daughter in our family - there are only two grand daughters. So I kind of get how your feel. I don't know what to tell you. It stinks sometimes. I wil say that now that we are both adults, my cousin is the one that gets to deal with grandma all the time. She's now paying for being the favorite. Hang in there.

I just find it really annoying sometimes.. I know I shouldn't put so much negative emotions on them, because most of what they have I don't really care about, but I guess I would just love to have the option to get a $500 phone for no reason.

who wouldn't want that option?!!

haha i know!!

But while their out there having money and playing volleyball and having boyfriends and being the favourite.. I'm down here, depressed, hurting, dealing with money issues, and living through being the outcast and the dissapointment. I wish we could trade places.

lfmn, what i found works for me is to create a "family" of friends rather than focusing on family. it's human nature to compare ourselves with others but in your case your family pushes your buttons. with really good friends you can receive acceptance rather looking at things that really don't matter that creates a negative spirit within yourself. i encourage you to look at what you do possess rather than what you don't have. afterall this cell phone thing is really not important and you wouldn't use it anyhow.

I don't have any friends, family is all I have right now

Even though this phone is not something you care about it's hard not being the "chosen one."

Ever hear the saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease"?

Might be they are more vocal about what they want and you focus on what you need.

That might be so. It went around once that the younger of those two acted extremely selfish, rude and demanding about her birthday presents to her mother so she could get either equal amount or more than what her sister got for her birthday.

Since my imediate family and current living situation is one with mostly without money I imediately feel guilty for buying things I even need. I shouldn't but I do.. and those feelings leak into my responses toward my better off family who ask me (rarely) what I want for my birthday or Christmas.

I once told my Aunt how I felt about her favouritism and her response was that because she had a better relationship with their mom than mine.

Oh my.... that's just wrong!! You are the wise one in this scenario