[indigo1015]

I know it's been awhile since I've been on here, but I felt that it would be good for me to get back into the habit of writing out my thoughts and feelings. My birthday was last Tuesday, and it would have been wonderful except that I was sick for most of it. Basically, I haven't been feeling well for the past week, which has definitely taken a toll on my emotional well-being. Furthermore, the stress of the curriculum I am in is starting to hit me, after all these months, as well as the problems of being in a foreign country, and not knowing the language very well. I went out with my friends to celebrate my birthday, which is something I very rarely do, and with good reason - I think I must have drank more than I've ever drank before, and I ended up sick outside on the pavement. Luckily, since I expelled most of it that night (sorry, I'm trying not to be disgusting in my rendition), my hangover was minimal, but the depression I've had recently was worse. I feel like I humiliated myself that night, that I lost control, and that whatever I did will be on YouTube soon, if it isn't already. Admitted, I am paranoid, but I really regret having done that. Furthermore, I really am homesick, I miss being somewhere where I understand the systems and ways of doing things, I miss being with my friends and family. I also feel that I can't do anything right in this program - I feel that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try and how much effort I put into it, it's never enough. I can't keep this up, I need to rest and recover. My midterm break is in two weeks, which, I feel, is not nearly soon enough. Does anyone have any advice on coping with depression, homesickness, exhaustion and not feeling physically well, all in one? Thanks

[hannie2223]

It's never as bad as it seems. I'm sure thousands of people in the last week have over done it and lost control. As for not doing enough. I bet you are doing too much at some point you just have to say it's not going to get any better right now. There are times I lay in bed and I think I should be working on this problem or figuring out what I'm going to do. Sometimes I have to literally tell myself to stop. I force myself to list why it's out of my control or how it will be better after some sleep.

When I can't sleep I like to read comic books. Like a collection of Calvin and Hobbes or Garfield. It's light-hearted and requires little thought to follow along. And it's not a bright screen of a TV or computer keeping me awake.

Homesickness sucks. My family lives 5000 miles away from me. My friends live hundreds of miles away. I make sure to call a lot. Webcams are fun. My sister and I video chat several times a month.

I haven't experienced much culture shock. I went to Europe once when I was in high school for a few weeks as and educational trip. In my mind it was over too fast.

above all take care of you. Get lots of water, sun and fresh air. Go look at something really old and wonder how many people have stood where you have stood. Find something really beautiful to stare at for an hour. Italy has great old stuff and art.

And there are always people on the net to talk with if you get too lonely! Feel better soon!

[shezbut]

(((Indigo)))

Gentle hugs to you.

Drinking too much (and/or too fast) often causes heaving. No fun at all! But often a part of growing up and learning what your body can and cannot handle. That crummy feeling will ease as time passes. Something to keep in mind whenever you go out with friends. A good lesson.

Try not to dwell on your embarassment of drinking too much. Many people make that mistake in life. Try to let go of the guilt and shame. You could always apologize to your friends, if that would make you feel better. I can pretty much guarantee that they haven't held it against you. But coming forward with your emotions might help you past this point.

Just a couple more weeks, and you'll get a break from school. Things will easier as the classes strike up a big interest. It will become a LOT easier then. You will make it through honey. Gentle hugs ~ Things will get better.