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  #1  
Old Feb 17, 2011, 10:43 PM
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violetmoons violetmoons is offline
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where people get the bravery to tell your story.My things are so trivial when i compare.But it still is my hurts you know?I wish I was as brave.I just want to say thanks and how brave you all are to survive and to share. take care,Violet
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  #2  
Old Feb 18, 2011, 04:22 AM
TheByzantine
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Your concerns are not trivial, violetmoons. You are in my thoughts.
Thanks for this!
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  #3  
Old Feb 18, 2011, 04:33 AM
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Nothing is trivial, violetmoons, your story is as important, YOU are important, as any of us.
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  #4  
Old Feb 18, 2011, 12:47 PM
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When it hurts you, it's important. It is NOT trivial by any means. Personally, I'd like to hear your story. How do you know it wouldn't help someone else?? Your story might give someone else the nerve to speak up and share. Not only that, but someone else might be able to relate to what you have to share. You really SHOULD tell your story. No one can see you, so that makes it easier to tell it. Besides, it WILL make you feel better once you get it all out.

So go ahead and share! I'll be looking forward to reading it. Hugs, Lee
Thanks for this!
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  #5  
Old Feb 18, 2011, 10:39 PM
Anonymous32712
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Originally Posted by violetmoons View Post
where people get the bravery to tell your story.My things are so trivial when i compare.But it still is my hurts you know?I wish I was as brave.I just want to say thanks and how brave you all are to survive and to share. take care,Violet
That is a myth. Every story (including yours!) has weight because it allows us the opportunity to feel connected to something that is common to us all: emotion. Anger. Love. Pain. And much more.

Anyone who would berate another person's story is an idiot for missing out on an opportunity for a connection with an actual person.
Thanks for this!
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  #6  
Old Feb 19, 2011, 09:10 PM
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Thank you for these words The Reflex.I think that was very kind of you.Thank you Byzantine,Amoslass,and Leed.Very sweet of you for taking the time.Violet
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Last edited by violetmoons; Feb 19, 2011 at 10:25 PM.
  #7  
Old Feb 20, 2011, 08:49 PM
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Just staring at the page.All I can think is the more people know the more they can get in your head.The more they can hurt you.You all take care.
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"......fly on, little wing....when I'm sad she comes to me,with a thousand smiles she gives to me free....."
  #8  
Old Feb 21, 2011, 12:22 PM
TheByzantine
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“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough” ~Frank Crane
Thanks for this!
violetmoons
  #9  
Old Feb 21, 2011, 07:04 PM
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A fool believes they see the line between.Which is better? Suffering with discretion or by whim of another?
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  #10  
Old Feb 21, 2011, 07:38 PM
So It Goes So It Goes is offline
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Originally Posted by violetmoons View Post
A fool believes they see the line between.Which is better? Suffering with discretion or by whim of another?
In my thought, the suffering against oneself is the least necessary. Suffering at the whim of someone else is inevitable if you take part in society, through either direct or indirect action taken against you. I am not perfect at not harming myself. Emotionally, I do it all the time. But the first step to change is realization.

Everyone has different motivations when telling their story because in the depth and variety of our experiences, there are infinite consequences, both internally and externally. There is no one right time or right way to share your story. That time and method are yours alone, just as your experiences are.

Parts of my story were immensely difficult to tell and required a zero-consequence scenario. I told my story then because I was prepared to cut ties with this entire account if necessary. I agonized over telling for a long time. I had to quit posting for a while afterwards, just to take time to myself and try to work through the feelings.

My only advice if you want to be careful about disclosing information about yourself is to take steps to protect your identity online. If you are afraid, leave yourself a way out. It will make the process easier.
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Last edited by So It Goes; Feb 21, 2011 at 07:55 PM. Reason: Grammar, ugh.
Thanks for this!
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  #11  
Old Feb 21, 2011, 10:48 PM
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violetmoons violetmoons is offline
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You are compassionate.Suffering is inevitable
.I have learned I can't trust.Not me.Not others.Trust is a door.Better locked.I think just very much inside myself.Was criticized alot growing up & I stay surface.I get anxious and leave randomly.People interpret it as mean or stuck up.I am not those.Growing up people saw my looks and not my insides.I got attention I didnt want or need.I'd think a guy cared and it always led to one thing.I worry about that.I tried hard in school but didnt get good grades.Couldnt concentrate.I worry about what people think.I cry easy from worrying.I didnt talk alot as a child.I needed my words to be perfect.They never are and I just freeze.Thanks for reading.
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  #12  
Old Feb 22, 2011, 02:07 AM
So It Goes So It Goes is offline
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Originally Posted by violetmoons View Post
You are compassionate.Suffering is inevitable
.I have learned I can't trust.Not me.Not others.Trust is a door.Better locked.I think just very much inside myself.Was criticized alot growing up & I stay surface.I get anxious and leave randomly.People interpret it as mean or stuck up.I am not those.Growing up people saw my looks and not my insides.I got attention I didnt want or need.I'd think a guy cared and it always led to one thing.I worry about that.I tried hard in school but didnt get good grades.Couldnt concentrate.I worry about what people think.I cry easy from worrying.I didnt talk alot as a child.I needed my words to be perfect.They never are and I just freeze.Thanks for reading.
Trust doesn't have to be the first step to stopping your suffering. Be kind to yourself in your thoughts, this will help you more than I can express. It may be an uphill battle, many days are in my experience of trying to be gentle with my own thoughts. Try to separate yourself from the criticisms or misinterpretations you have experienced. They are not you. They only described a facet of you or of someone else's issues, no matter how right, wrong, misguided or abusive they were. Gaining perspective will help.

The most important thing I can stress is you do not have to suffer like this. Suffering may be inevitable but it does not have to be pervasive. You have control over your interpretation of these feelings. If you want to affect change in your thoughts, try not to think in absolutes, as in thinking "I can't trust today," instead of "I can't trust."

I'm trying to get the hang of many of these concepts myself but they are helping. Please be kind to yourself; you deserve peace.
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  #13  
Old Feb 22, 2011, 08:46 AM
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I like that.I can't trust today.Your words help.I will return to these words.If I could trust me the rest wouldnt matter.Stability is so far from here.Dont think in absolutes,I will practice.Your attention is valuable.Thank you.
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"......fly on, little wing....when I'm sad she comes to me,with a thousand smiles she gives to me free....."
  #14  
Old Feb 22, 2011, 12:11 PM
So It Goes So It Goes is offline
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Originally Posted by violetmoons View Post
I like that.I can't trust today.Your words help.I will return to these words.If I could trust me the rest wouldnt matter.Stability is so far from here.Dont think in absolutes,I will practice.Your attention is valuable.Thank you.
Once you are more kind internally, you can rebuild the trust for yourself again. Stability is often times an illusion in the way we perceive it. Stability is merely a pattern. If you can identify your patterns, then you can harness the abilities they give you, thereby granting yourself inner strength and a measure of stability. Then, after a time, trust in yourself will arise as a consequence of the wisdom granted in these perceptions.

It's important in this process to recognize your strengths. You are probably overly aware of your weaknesses. Why not put the perception of those weaknesses down for a time and concentrate on what you are good at? It will give you a much more well-rounded view of yourself.
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Thanks for this!
violetmoons
  #15  
Old Feb 23, 2011, 04:10 PM
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That's a can of worms.I'll think on it .Thanks.
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