[Norahs]

I am going to make goals, and if I do not achieve those goals, I will punish myself by abstaining from something I really like. I really need to curb my anger and the out-lashes that come from it. If you have any suggestions, please reply with them. I will do these for a month, and hopefully by the end of the four weeks, I can

Week 1

• Do not be mean to anyone.
• Do not gossip.
• Be kind to parents.

[krisakira]

Those are some good goals, however i would encourage you to take it a step further, and come up with some specific things you wont do or will do. for instance, "do not be mean to anyone" can have specifics like "listen when others are talking" and "be kind to parents" can have specifics like "when mom asks me to do a chore, do it right away if i can" and "take out the trash even when i am not asked to". I mean i don't know your situation, but from my experience, it is easier to do specific things. Also, think of some specific things you can do about your anger. such as, have a plan for when you feel too angry, like to play some calming music and color, or go take a walk, or whatever helps you. you can also look up online some things that can help with anger issues.

[krisakira]

I would also shy away from punishment. Reward yourself for achieving a goal.

[Nola22]

Hi Norahs,

I think you are on the right track, and krisakira's suggestions about the specificity of your goals and using a reward system are wonderful. Abstention may seem like a good strategy from the outset, but you're bound to make mistakes (you're human ), so you don't want to face an existence that may be drastically pared down if that's the case. As you are successful in achieving your goals, treat yourself, even to something small like a short walk around the neighborhood or a coffee or whatever you may like.

I wish you the best of luck in taking this step forward to improve your life. I hope you'll keep us posted on your progress.

Good luck, Norahs.

[lonegael]

Norah, it might be good to come up with a realistic limit or step on the goal, like "listen to at least three people's problems if they need it this week" or "Set aside so and so many hours this week to help mom and dad..." Or target a specific thing that you tend to do with your parents that bugs you and say "catch and stop self from snapping at parents five times" in a week and REWARD yourself. Punishing yourself will only feed the depression and you'll be more inclined to NOT meet your goals.
Limiting the time period makes it more likely you'll see your progress too Just ideas, hunny! Good luck!