[davidpyle]

my insides are still wound up, when my logic
tells me they shouldn't be, I used to be able to deal with problems better.

I don't know if I'm just getting older or what, but I don't feel like I'm taking
stress nearly as well as I used to and I'm getting more angry inwardly and not
sure what to do. Yesterday at work was annoying, somewhat fast-paced, the machine kept
screwing up, creating more work, till I was running on anger-cahrged adrenaline,
it's like my body becomes more tense, a shaking sensation goes through me as I
heat up. My thoughts are angry and violent imaginings, and my outgoing comments
can be slightly more hostile. We were there till 6.30 p.m., my physical energy
adn emotions drained and I'm still tired.
I used to be able to take this stuff better, now I just want to throw things and
destroy stuff, which I can't do at work. Instead, everything just stays bottled
up.
Don't like feeling all this anger which fuels my working energy, so it seems,
not sure if I can break it, however it started, don't know if I have the
strength or will to change.
Not even sure what is happening, anxiety disorder? Stress? Or what.
Just feel drained and tired now, still a touch of anger.
As it builds I become more irrational, the anger thoughts are repetitive, always
the same things, over and over. Can't even think on stories I could use. Then,
I'm worn out and can't operate.
Thought the cooler temps of the chicken factory would help, I was incorrect.
This place makes me miss the Perdue Factory, thing seemed to run better there,
though I was still unhappy.
Not even sure I'm capable of being happy.
Some people say give it to the Lord, but I'm not sure what that even means, and
when I get irrational it's hard to think right.
WIsh I knew how to break this. My body shakes, twists, I fidget and poeple are
convinced somethings wrong with me. I've been diagnosed as immature, related to
Klinefelters, a cognitive memory disorder, chronic depression, and diabetes.
I need to change many habits, but they have become so ingrained over time, not
sure if I can.
Any insights, ideas or anything?
I hate those states I get in, for many reason, including my own tendency towards
destruction and saying things I shouldn't, wishing i was dead, otehrs were dead,
those things.
If only I had the courage to get my own business going, confidence, whatever.

Still tired and uncertain.

[crazylady135710]

wow you are going through alot, have you ever tried to mediate? or yoga? it may sound funny or new agy but it really helps. Excerise is also a great stress reducer.

[Leed]

Hey David ~ do you have a therapist? Are you talking about this?

If you DON'T have a therapist, I'd suggest getting one. You need someone to talk to about this. I know it would do you some good. I've been in therapy off and on all my adult life, and it's done me a world of good! Make the call and get one.

I don't doubt that you're miserable ~ having all those "voices" talking at the same time ~ telling you all sorts of things. That would drive me nuts!! I used to deal with that too -- but I finally shut those "voices" up. I have a visualization trick that I use. It probably sounds nuts to most people, but my shrink says it's excellent ~ and he's going to recommend it to his patients.

What I do is this: The "voices or noise" in my head -- I put faces on them so I can "see" them. There are only 2 "voices" in my head -- one is a man and one is a woman -- the woman does all the 'talking.' She sometimes talks incessantly!!! She never shuts up!! I also have this plexiglass wall - it's clear and it's between me and the "voices." It goes up and down. When the 'voices" get to be too loud, I push this imaginary button and the wall goes UP so I can't hear them anymore. I can still SEE them, but I can't hear them. They can talk all they want, but it won't do them any good. It gives me PEACE -- now I can concentrate on whatever I want to do.

Perhaps if you can visualize, this will do you some good!! It's helped me immensely. Take your thoughts and put them behind that wall. You won't be able to hear them anymore!!!

I wish you the very best. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[lastyearisblank]

I need to change many habits, but they have become so ingrained over time, not sure if I can.

You are worth better than this. You can do better. Can you get a personal trainer, maybe hit some punching bags and get some of that anger out! It's powerful if you know how to UNLEASH it.

[embracinglife]

It sounds like this anger or rage has really taken a hold on you and you can't really control it sometimes. I would definitely recommend finding someone that you can talk to about this---whether it is a therapist, or a support group...some place where you feel safe enough to talk about these feelings and thoughts. I'm glad you came here and reached out for support. That's what we're here for.

Maybe talking to someone might help you figure out where the anger is coming from. A lot of times we are angry because we have been violated or hurt somehow. I wish you the best of luck.