Intense emotion, or none at all.

Does anyone else feel like their emotions are "all or nothing"? I feel as if most of the time I'm pretty numb. But when I feel sad, it's crippling depression. Anger is overwhelming, my heart races, my face gets hot and I feel like breaking things. I've been characterized as "clingy" or "too intense" when it comes to expressing my feelings about/toward others. I never really feel elated or excited, the happy moods aren't really in my emotional repertoire.

I can fake most normal emotions and reactions to stimuli, I know what's expected of me. But inside, it's very much either NO emotion, or TOO MUCH emotion, and sometimes the latter leaks out and people start to notice.

Is this a bipolar trait? Something else? Or just my own psychological wiring?

hmm i have levels, depressed, hugely depressed, and worse.
Happy, over the top happy.
But i also have empty feelings sometimes but its usually actually boredom and restlessness i guess?

Have you talked your psychiatrist or therapist about this?

A difficult childhood may bring about some repression of emotions. To be acknowledged as a person of value may trigger intense emotions long repressed.

I haven't had a chance to see my therapist at all in the new year, she kept cancelling on me and then her dad got sick so she's been out of town.

It could hypothetically have something to do with my childhood, though I can't think of anything specific aside from my not-so-great relationship with mommy dearest.

im guessing it may, it sounds like this issue is still very close to u?
What about looking for a new pdoc?

I can really relate. PM me.
I am not close to my parents (Not that anything was 'wrong' - we just never felt close)
I am BP
I go through times of feeling numb, or terribly depressed
I'm in my mid-twenties and want to get my life going now.
I do see a T, and we are starting to work on my emotions around my mom. Some days I can be numb about it, and just push it out of my mind, and at other times I feel guilty and lonely; all at the same time

When is your therapist back? This would be a good topic to discuss.

Have you ever read about Adult Children of Alcoholics or Borderline Personality Disorder? I'm not saying those labels apply to you, but literature on those subjects deals a lot with extreme emotions and feeling numb.

I wonder if happy moods would happen if you didn't feel so numb? I'm sorry you have to fake the emotions that you feel like others expect. It must be annoying to have to watch out for that all the time. Wishing you well!

Find a new therapist that does DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). Even if you're not Borderline, it can help with intense emotions.

I know that as a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder and being Bipolar 1 your feelings of "intense emotions" are all too familiar to me.. It's all or nothing with me as well and I came from a great childhood.. I think your situation with you mom may add fuel to the fire so to speak and agree that this is definetly something you should bring to your T's attention ASAP.

Yup- I'm a woman, possibly Borderline, with a dx of BP II.
My T is helping me deal with a lot of underlying issues.
I still feel numb, when I wish I had some emotion...

I have this intensity as well. Welling anger inside of me, then it's gone. But the anger is very brief, around 10 seconds, then it subsides. But then it comes roaring back in another 10 seconds. And this can happen all day.

I know I have had Mother issues. Could this be the reason you think?