[Phit-Phit]

so....once again y mom starts trouble today is my birthday and she called me (first time since b4 christmas) and her voice is filled with hatred and attitude i just cant take it anymore.......

[onmyway]

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

How hurtful this must be for you. The only advice i can offer is; you cannot control the actions or words of others. I do not know the history between you and her, but grieve over her hurtful comments from today, and then *try* to remember that she must be suffering somehow, someway, herself, in order to make her child feel horrible. Then remember you do NOT deserve to be treated poorly, and try to allow what was said to be HER problem, not yours, if that makes sense?

I know, easier said than done. But its worth a shot, and your first priority needs to be your mental health, so try your best to imagine picking up her hurtful comments and passing them back to her, and walking away.. of course, this is coming from someone who finds visualization useful. lol

[missbelle]

and you don't have to take it.......so sorry this happened today of all days!!!

hugs!!

[Phit-Phit]

Originally Posted by onmyway

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

How hurtful this must be for you. The only advice i can offer is; you cannot control the actions or words of others. I do not know the history between you and her, but grieve over her hurtful comments from today, and then *try* to remember that she must be suffering somehow, someway, herself, in order to make her child feel horrible. Then remember you do NOT deserve to be treated poorly, and try to allow what was said to be HER problem, not yours, if that makes sense?

I know, easier said than done. But its worth a shot, and your first priority needs to be your mental health, so try your best to imagine picking up her hurtful comments and passing them back to her, and walking away.. of course, this is coming from someone who finds visualization useful. lol

thanks and a little off topic but for my 10 birthday (3 months b4 my Nana passes) i am a the park and i'm trying to break the piñata and i cant so my Nana comes up to me and says pretend that it is ur mother and i hit it and with 2 more hit i broke it i had no stress for the rest of the day...........what do u sugest i can do this time ??

[Phit-Phit]

Originally Posted by missbelle

and you don't have to take it.......so sorry this happened today of all days!!!

hugs!!

thanks

[moonlightgirl]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! well you can look on the bright side, we're here for all the love and support

[Phit-Phit]

Originally Posted by moonlightgirl

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! well you can look on the bright side, we're here for all the love and support

thanks

[onmyway]

thanks and a little off topic but for my 10 birthday (3 months b4 my Nana passes) i am a the park and i'm trying to break the piñata and i cant so my Nana comes up to me and says pretend that it is ur mother and i hit it and with 2 more hit i broke it i had no stress for the rest of the day...........what do u sugest i can do this time ??

How are you feeling today?

Well, the trick is - and i'm still learning, so bear with me - to get out the angry/aggressive/hurt feelings you have without harm to yourself or others, and then hopefully moving in the direction of healing. Some ideas that come to mind to get out the anger are:

draw your mom's face on a balloon, blow it up and then pop it. (to which my therapist added writing a note with your feelings on it, put it inside the balloon before blowing it up, and then burning it outside (safely) once it's popped)

physical activity. Serious cardio, running, brisk walk, heck, play tennis and pretend your mom is the ball, basketball.. whatever kinds of activity you prefer.

write an entire letter to your mom, uncensored, getting out however you're feeling, adding as much or as little as you'd like, then tear it to peices or burn it, again, outside.

call a friend to vent

get outside. Sunshine really does help.

Scream into a pillow, or hit the pillows either against the wall or just hit the pillows themselves.

My brain is foggy right now so that's all it got at the moment. But remember that, just as important as it is to get the anger out, it's then equally important to do self care things afterwards to soothe yourself. Feed yourself, shower, yoga, meditation, watch a funny movie, do something you enjoy, listen to music that makes you feel good, etc.