[TurboBronson]

I think I have a relationship problem. I'm a 25-year old guy, and I've been single for nearly 2 years. I've only gone on dates with about four different women since then, and nothing really ever unfolded.

Last year, I talked to someone I met online, and we connected pretty well. Though we only met in person about three times since then, we talked on the phone almost every night at one point. Then it just kind of stopped. I stopped calling, she stopped calling. We both did get new jobs, but I felt like I was busier when we talked before.

Recently, she asked me if I had liked her then, and I said yes (and I wasn't lying). She said she did too, but then I said "I don't dwell on the past - we have other things going for us now." (She met someone and I'm kind of seeing someone else)

To myself, I wasn't noticeably affected by knowing I passed up a really good opportunity, but I found myself soon blaming other things in my life for how I have been acting lately. My latest actions include a four-page tirade on anything and everything that's been going wrong in my life, constantly staying up until sunrise and waking up at 2 or 3 pm (I usually sleep late anyway, but usually not past noon), and I find myself thinking that I have no need to talk to this girl, that she could have told me what her feelings were, too, but since she isn't, why bother talking to her anymore? Truth is, I sort of miss talking to her, because I sort of opened up, which is something that's very difficult to do for me.

Did I push her away, and am I still?

PS: Is this appropriate for this forum? I'm new here.

[OrangeMoira]

I think you had reasons to stop talking to her at the time. Maybe that's become hard to see with time.

I think this time you set an appropriate boundary, if you're both seeing/kind of seeing other people. That's not pushing someone away in a bad way, like protecting yourself from knowing someone. It's setting limits on the type of relationship you will have with them. Sounds healthy to me.

If you sabotaged your current kinda-relationship for the ghost of an old one, that's the type of behavior that can keep you from being intimate over time. But you know your own motives best. Do you feel like you were pushing her away so she wouldn't know you?

You might also try the relationship forum for this type of question.