[LittleForgetMeNot]

I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to do therapy anymore. I don't want someone telling me I have problems that need to be fixed. I don't want someone telling me that the way my life is right now is wrong. I don't want someone telling me that I need to change, telling me what I need to do, and that I have to try. I don't want to go back to that world where all they do is pressure you to get things done and change who and what you are.

I know it's the law but.. I don't want to go back to school.. I'm not sure why I feel this way but.. I'm happy where I'm at.. I want to do what I'm doing now, meeting up with my friends and family and getting nice things.. What's the point in changing if I'm okay?

[Can't Stop Crying]

Is online school an option for you? My son (age 16) started online school and it has made a lot of difference for him. He still has a long way to go, but at least we're not dealing with truancy and the law anymore.
Are you sure you're okay? Is there something others are seeing that you're not? I don't know the answer to that question, just a thought.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

I'm not sure. I mean, I've gotten more positive, gotten more open and friendly. I've noticed I'm not as awkward as saying things to people anymore and I won't feel anxious about asking a simple question. I haven't been at home as much in the past few weeks cause I'm hanging out with friends and family.. When I'm not okay I just want to sleep and I'll stand people up and ignore them because I just don't feel like it but that's not happening.

[Leed]

Sweetie ~ you're going to find in all areas of life, that people will be telling you what to do. What about in the job market??? If you get a job, your boss will tell you what to do. Are you going to tell him/her NO?? And if your boss doesn't like your attitude and wants you to change it, what are you gonna do? Change, right? Or not?

There are always situations in life where we have to do what we are told, or change in some way or try to do something perhaps that we don't want to do. Life is full of challenges and we can't have our way about everything.

School is one of those things ~ the law says you have to go. So as long as you have to go, try to make it as positive an experience as you can. School CAN be fun -- if you want it to be. There are loads of groups you can belong to, to make new friends & join in the activities. Or you can just muddle thru and be bored to tears. It's all up to you.

Just try to make the best with what you've got! Life is a gas! Hugs, Lee

[venusss]

What do you do when you don't want to anymore?


I do it anyways. You cannot hang out with friends for living. The more education you have the more chances you will be able to do with your own life... though being a freelancer or running your own business is hard and many people just prefer just be employed and told what to do to big big responsibility.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

I know, but it seems a lot harder than just doing it. When my therapist starts pushing me to do something I'll start crying, stop talking completely, and want to curl up into a little ball or run away. I have tons of responsibilities.. I'm like a mom to my brother who is special needs and I have to help support my Dad. The support is so important that I cannot even go back to school until September. I haven't even been all year. I rarely ever get breaks or anything new or nice.. Therapist keeps telling me this lifestyle is wrong. That might be true but it can't be changed, it's an impossible situation because we're so close to getting kicked out, and my dad's company is being bought out..

I've been a supporter all my life, supporting my parents, supporting my brother, and then trying to support myself. It's hard.. and I can't do it.

[2MuchCoffee]

It sounds like you may have a lot on your plate and maybe it's been that way for a while. I know what that feels like and it does make you just want to escape and/or shut down. You do need to make sure you're giving yourself enough breathing room and not trying to take on the world. Don't expect perfection from yourself, that will lead to being overwhelmed and burned out faster than anything. Give yourself room to make mistakes and to say "no" to something if it's just too much. It's better to say "no" to someone now than to flake off or stand them up.

You can't run from your responsibilities. They will find you and usually when they do they've become big problems. I know - personal experience here. What you need is a support system for yourself. You can't support the people who depend on you if you're not strong. So hanging with friends a bit is ok, but make sure the time is spent with people who can be encouraging to you and supportive when you need them to be. If the ones you have now can't do that and just want to party, you need to expand your circle and find someone who can. Maybe even an older adult, advisor, teacher, aunt or uncle, etc whom you can call on. Just ask. You'd be surprised how willing people are to help.

I'm happy where I'm at.. I want to do what I'm doing now, meeting up with my friends and family and getting nice things.. What's the point in changing if I'm okay?

You're happy where you're at because you're comfortable. You're okay...for now...because nothing has come up to challenge you...yet. Trust me, if you don't challenge yourself - life will and when life does it it's usually not pleasant. LIFE IS CHANGE. Things will not stay the same way they are now forever. Sooner or later something will come along and pull the rug out from under you, whether you like it or not. Why change? So you can grow as a person and improve your life.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

I don't believe I can juggle everything, but it seems like my therapist expects me to. I told her I couldn't promise that I could go to school everyday because I know myself and I know that I'm just not going to snap out of it.. My mood fluctuates between wanting to and not wanting to every few weeks and has been this way for many years. Right now I haven't been in school since September.. But she wouldn't accept this and kept pushing me and pushing me and I felt the pressure to be perfect; that I had to just suddenly fall in upside down without any preparation and I had to do it perfectly or else. I had an issue with my Dad where he didn't want to accept I was breaking down and needed support until recently, now he's more understanding and open to conversation.. at the same time it seems my support has become the one giving me more anxiety than I had before.

I have to see her tomorrow and it's stressing me out. My child and youth worker keeps telling me it's okay if I cry while talking with her because it can help me feel better but I don't want to cry. It doesn't make me feel better at all, it makes me feel worse. I've spent so many years having people make me cry, having people misunderstand me, pushing me too far, harassing me and manipulating me.. I mean, I had extremely emotionally and mentally abusive friends for over 2 years.. I'm out of it now, I finally broke free, I'm finally starting to be myself again, to smile and live my real life not feeling like I'm in a nightmare. Right now it seems like this therapist and going back to school is going to put me back into that nightmare.. It's too soon and I'm not ready yet..